Leaving someone that you truly love isn't always just that easy to do. You can't let him walk all over you though and when you give him a bottom line then you gotta stick with it though. I have been here, more times than once. I made a mistake of telling him (my now husband) that I was leaving the next time he drank or he used...... do you know how many relapses that he has had since? lets say there was at least a few..... I'll never tell him that I will leave him if he does it again, cause I can't promise that. Set up boundaries that you are willing to uphold. In my situation I said that he if ever drove after he drank I would call the police myself. The biggest thing I had to tell him was that if he wanted me to trust him then even when he relapses or makes a mistake he needs to own up to it. I didn't want to live with a liar. Its one thing to be an addict.... another to be a liar.
My husband was also an addict and an alcoholic when i met him. It took me 6 months to realize it. We were already living together. I was head over heels in love with him. He also went to treatment and has quit for months at a time. Your husband, and mine will probably relapse once or twice throughout the years.... regardless of what they claim is the reason. Its a life long problem. Whats going to make the difference is how they deal with it and how they fix it. My husband and I have been together for 3 years now. I know when he uses, and I call him out on it. I tell him that i love him, and always will. I also tell him the reasons that his using hurts me, and how I would help for him to get the help (whatever he needs) that he deserves. I make myself available for EVERY AA meeting, counseling meeting that he wants me to go to. I always talk to him about his recovery when he wants to talk about it - and he knows i am open to listening. Be supportive, and honest, and you gotta have boundaries and bottom lines.... just make them things you can do.
