[LFin]

My husband and I have been married for a year and a half. We have a very active sex life. He has had some drug issues and I'll admit, I snoop. I looked on his phone browser and saw that he had been watching gay porn. I was wondering if this could maybe be a fetish or curiosity thing, or if this meant he is gay/bi. I have watched lesbian porn before, but am not a lesbian. But I feel like male on male porn is a little different. I plan on asking him about it when he gets home from work, but I could really use some advice please. I'm kind of freaking out.
Thanks.

 

[ankh]

How about just loving him and not asking him about it. Judge him by how he treats you. Otherwise you'll have a fight on your hands..

 

[DayDream]

There are men out there who are inherantly gay, attracted to men, but also can be attracted to women as well and can also want a "normal" life with a family and everything. I'm not saying being gay is abnormal...I'm just using normal as an example of a typical relationship.

 

[Jack29]

Im male and i've never tried to watch gay porn, it will probably make me sick.

I doubt however than gay porn only is enough to make a man ****! What about when hes interacting with other men? If i were you id try to figure it out that way. Is he meeting with a particular male friend too often or other suspicious things of that sort?

Ive known some gays and it was pretty easy spot them but they had already "come out of the closet"

 

[MrK]

He's gay. He will deny it. He will say it was just curiosity. Get ready.

Actually, confronting him won't work. You will NOT get an honest response. Tell him you want to get naughty. You want to watch some porn with him. Start with lesbian porn (no men in the shot at all) and see if he gets a stiffy. When he doesn't, say "sorry, I thought all men liked that kind of stuff", then put on some MMF threesome stuff (full hard core gay will be a tip-off). Make sure the MM's do things to each other. (There's two kinds of MMF threesome porn out there, from what I understand ).

I sincerely don't believe in male bisexuality. Any man that says he's "Bi" is just a gay man adapting to a straight world. I have never even been curious about watching gay porn. The sight of boys putting boy things in their mouths has NO interest for me.

 

[DayDream]

He's gay. He will deny it. He will say it was just curiosity. Get ready.

Actually, confronting him won't work. You will NOT get an honest response. Tell him you want to get naughty. You want to watch some porn with him. Start with lesbian porn (no men in the shot at all) and see if he gets a stiffy. When he doesn't, say "sorry, I thought all men liked that kind of stuff", then put on some MMF threesome stuff (full hard core gay will be a tip-off). Make sure the MM's do things to each other. (There's two kinds of MMF threesome porn out there, from what I understand ).

I sincerely don't believe in male bisexuality. Any man that says he's "Bi" is just a gay man adapting to a straight world. I have never even been curious about watching gay porn. The sight of boys putting boy things in their mouths has NO interest for me.

Just because you don't understand Bi, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

 

[MrK]

Just because you don't understand Bi, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Sorry if I wasn't clear. I'm 50. I've known and talked to a lot of people in my day. I have SERIOUS doubts about male bi-sexuality. But OK. You're right. I'm no expert. Bisexuality is a possibility here.

OP. Is that better? He likes putting boy things in his mouth as well as girl things?

One thing I do know. Full-on gay is a LOT more common than bisexuality in men, and marrying a woman is ZERO indication of which way he flies. Preference in porn is a MUCH better indicator

 

[costa200]

Gay porn? That stuff is repulsive for me. Can't see a "curiosity" scenario there.

 

[MrK]

Gay porn? That stuff is repulsive for me. Can't see a "curiosity" scenario there.

You will find that sentiment among most men. And it is NOT an "I'm so manly I'd never watch that, even in curiosity" thing. It really does gross us out.

 

[LFin]

Im male and i've never tried to watch gay porn, it will probably make me sick.

I doubt however than gay porn only is enough to make a man ****! What about when hes interacting with other men? If i were you id try to figure it out that way. Is he meeting with a particular male friend too often or other suspicious things of that sort?

Ive known some gays and it was pretty easy spot them but they had already "come out of the closet"

Other than work, he never hangs out with guys without me there. We have all mutual friends and we don't hang out with anyone else. He is in the military and the guys bash gays constantly. I know he loves me very much and I love him, but I think this is a serious problem. He has never shown any signs of wanting to be with men and is very romantic towards me... we also have a four month old baby in the picture. I am just so scared about this. His parents are coming into town today so I can't really confront him, but I don't think I can keep this in all weekend.

 

[DayDream]

Other than work, he never hangs out with guys without me there. We have all mutual friends and we don't hang out with anyone else. He is in the military and the guys bash gays constantly. I know he loves me very much and I love him, but I think this is a serious problem. He has never shown any signs of wanting to be with men and is very romantic towards me... we also have a four month old baby in the picture. I am just so scared about this. His parents are coming into town today so I can't really confront him, but I don't think I can keep this in all weekend.

It's never a good time. If it weren't his parents coming into town it'd be something else making it "not a good time". Just talk to him.

 

[DayDream]

You will find that sentiment among most men. And it is NOT an "I'm so manly I'd never watch that, even in curiosity" thing. It really does gross us out.

Most men. But I have experience with this...and that's all I'm saying about it. Trust me...it's out there.

 

[Memento]

Every straight man that I know would never watch gay porn. The thought of that to every single one of them is "repulsive".

I had a friend of mine that was interested in a guy. Several weeks after they started a relationship, she found out he had been in several gay parades. I remember, back then, she asked me if it was normal for a straight man to do that. I honestly did know, so I asked several men I know. Their answer was something like this: 2HELL, NO! I WOULD NEVER BE PART OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT." Not that there's anything wrong with that, but they weren't gay. My friends love interest, in the end, was in fact gay.

I think you need to have a honest talk with your husband.

 

[DayDream]

Every straight man that I know would never watch gay porn. The thought of that to every single one of them is "repulsive".

I had a friend of mine that was interested in a guy. Several weeks after they started a relationship, she found out he had been in several gay parades. I remember, back then, she asked me if it was normal for a straight man to do that. I honestly did know, so I asked several men I know. Their answer was something like this: 2HELL, NO! I WOULD NEVER BE PART OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT." Not that there's anything wrong with that, but they weren't gay. My friends love interest, in the end, was in fact gay.

I think you need to have a honest talk with your husband.

It's more rare than straight gay or straight hetero.

 

[MrK]

I've recommended this before, but never heard back. Go to a gay relationship website and ask them. I'm thinking you'll get the advice you need. I'm pretty sure the gay community doesn't take too kindly to their bretheren feeling so ashamed of their sexuality that they choose to destroy other peoples lives over it.

Give it a try. See what they say. Can't hurt. And I'll bet they know a lot more about male bisexuality than me and Daydream combined.

 

[Memento]

It's more rare than straight gay or straight hetero.

Straight or crooked, I honestly don't care. That's up to each one to decide what they want to be and how they want to live their sexuality. Its not my place to judge.
However, I do have a distaste for pc correctness. That I truly find it abhorrent and abnormal.

 

[Acoa]

It really does gross us out.

I think more men say its repulsive than 'really' believe it. Call it homophobic or social conditioning, it is what it is.

Personally it just doesn't do anything for me. If my wife got off on it I could handle watching it with her. But for whatever reason women don't get the same pleasure seeing 2 men get it on as men get from watching 2 women.(generally, there are exceptions).

Back to the OP, just ask him about it. If you have any hope for an honest answer be calm and ready to accept the worst. If he says he was only curious you will need to decide if that is the truth or not. Maybe don't confront on the gay porn. Just discuss homosexuality and see how the conversation goes.

 

[DayDream]

However, I do have a distaste for pc correctness. That I truly find it abhorrent and abnormal.

Confused by this last part... :scratchhead:

 

[Machiavelli]

Just because you don't understand Bi, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Male bisexuality probably doesn't exist, but flat out gay guys can and do father children. I have known several over the years who abandoned their wives and children to go full time Gay, but they were gay all along, just faking it.

Any guy watching gay porn is gay. Simple as that.

 

[Machiavelli]

Other than work, he never hangs out with guys without me there. We have all mutual friends and we don't hang out with anyone else. He is in the military and the guys bash gays constantly. I know he loves me very much and I love him, but I think this is a serious problem. He has never shown any signs of wanting to be with men and is very romantic towards me... we also have a four month old baby in the picture. I am just so scared about this. His parents are coming into town today so I can't really confront him, but I don't think I can keep this in all weekend.

Believe it or not, there were plenty of homosexuals in the military 40 years ago and I'm sure there are plenty more now than there were then. Don't have sex with him, whatever you do.