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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We've been separated since August. Since I have not returned he now wants half time with our daughter. He has her Mon, Wed, every second weekend currently.
He says that since I am so slow to return he wants to up it to 50/50. He has our son and his girlfriend living with him full time, he has our house.
I had to leave due to his verbal abuse and the heartbreak of his 3 year EA/PA.

I implored him to leave things as they are, he has someone with him all the time. I am alone a lot. I asked him to continue to let me have her slightly more out of compassion for what he has done to me.
He says that Jesus has forgiven him, and he has forgiven himself. And If I can't forgive him that is not his concern.
How is the ass ending up with our son, his gf, our house, and then probably now our dd half the time, and I end up alone so much?

Maybe I made a big mistake by leaving the family home.
I guess I should have documented the verbal/emotional abuse better and tried to kick him out of the house, instead of me leaving. Too late for that now. I either go back, and live with this 'person' or be a part time mother.

I feel like a loser for handing him our house, and the kids on a platter. When he was the one who cheated, lied, and then was verbally abusive with me.

My head is all mixed up.
If I go home I can be with my kids full time, at least until dd is done high school.
 

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You are right, you should not have moved out.

As your attorney, it might still be your legal residence and you might have the legal right to move back in.

What does he mean that you have been so slow to get back?

Who has been the primary care giver to you children?

In the divorce you should get 50% of the equity in the house and a50% of all assets.

How long have you been married? Can you get alimony?

How old is your daughter.

Move back into the house. Re-establish yourself there. And work a plan for divorce. Getting back into the family home is priority one. And don't be a victim when you go back. Instead be a strong woman working towards a goal.. being a mother to your children, cleaning up the environment your other children are living in.

then you can work on gettng yourself in a strong position for divorce.

I had to do this. The first attorney I talked to about divorcing my son's father gave me terrible advice. I moved out with our son. the judge ordered that I return our son to the family home to live with his father. The judge also ordered that the reports I gave about emotional and physical abuse by my husband be sealed because "We cannot have things like that in open court documents about a doctor."

So I just moved right back in with the SOB. One of the main reasons I moved back in was that there was no way in hell I was going to let an abusive man have primary custody of a 3.5 year old child.

It took 3 more years for me to get my case in order and to prove the abuse. When the divorce we refiled.. the judge (different one as the other was no longer on a bench) ordered a custory evaluation. The evaluators documented the abuse and gave my ex very little time with our son and told him he had to go to counseling for 2 years with our son befor he could get one more day of visitation.

Go back and work a plan. Turn things around.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I talked with my therapist today. She said moving back would be the worst thing for my dd. That her father's emotional abuse is way too bad to do that. And to get my dd into therapy, so far she has refused so I'll have to try and talk to her again about it.
 
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