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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, my husband and I have had issues in the past, lately it has been pretty okay but I want some input. I know that I am not perfect, but I have listened to everything he has asked for and for the most part have stepped up to the plate as best as I can (sex, cooking, cleaning... easy stuff I guess..). I have had a hard time explaining to him why I am not always terribly satisfied...I am happy, and my husband is a good man and a great dad but it feels like there could be so much more . I think my biggest issue is that instead of taking initiative he likes to ask for things or whine at me ( am a stay at home mom of 2 boys, a 2 months old and a 22 month old, I dont need more whiners in my life..)

We have been talking lately and he is okay with me getting him a book or something on how to be a good husband and how to meet my needs as a wife. So basically does anyone have any advice as to resources I can use to help him be the best husband he can be?

Thanks,
Whittelily
 

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No More Mr. Nice Guy will hopefully help him to quit whining.

The 5 Love Languages for both of you to read, take quiz, and share results with each other. This book will help both of you communicate better with each other.
 

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So, my husband and I have had issues in the past, lately it has been pretty okay but I want some input. I know that I am not perfect, but I have listened to everything he has asked for and for the most part have stepped up to the plate as best as I can (sex, cooking, cleaning... easy stuff I guess..). I have had a hard time explaining to him why I am not always terribly satisfied...I am happy, and my husband is a good man and a great dad but it feels like there could be so much more . I think my biggest issue is that instead of taking initiative he likes to ask for things or whine at me ( am a stay at home mom of 2 boys, a 2 months old and a 22 month old, I dont need more whiners in my life..)

We have been talking lately and he is okay with me getting him a book or something on how to be a good husband and how to meet my needs as a wife. So basically does anyone have any advice as to resources I can use to help him be the best husband he can be?

Thanks,
Whittelily
Absolutely what @turnera said. I got the book and I wished I had bought it earlier, back when my wife may have actually been willing to work on our marriage.

It sounds like you caught this in the early stages, so that's really good...you should be able to get things back on track if he's willing to work with you.

Also, I'm curious how does he whine?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Basically if he asked for something (ex: Sex) and I am not feeling well or tired and say no he will get pouty and ask me over and over or try to get me to give in (which is rather un-sexy and turns me off further). Or if he is frustrated over something then he gets mopey and crabby, like if he is working on a project and it isn't going as easy as he thought it would..
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 · (Edited)
Thank You for the responses!!! I ordered some of these books from Amazon.com. I want our relationship to be strong and last, My parents are divorced and it was heartbreaking as a child when they got their divorce. And I am fully aware that more than my heart and my husbands hearts are on the line now that we have 2 beautiful boys...
 

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Basically if he asked for something (ex: Sex) and I am not feeling well or tired and say no he will get pouty and ask me over and over or try to get me to give in (which is rather un-sexy and turns me off further). Or if he is frustrated over something then he gets mopey and crabby, like if he is working on a project and it isn't going as easy as he thought it would..
I'm a woman and when I am feeling like that.. (In the mood) I can so easily relate to men acting like this....just speaking it as it is.. higher testosterone levels have a way of making our bodies NEED to be touched and we long for the intimacy like a drug.. it's very hard to shut off..

I'm very thankful to be a woman - since getting a man ready to go - is something most of them "invite"..

It's similar to us women needing our men to listen to us.. hear us.. to hug us when we are feeling down.. if they just walk away, push us away .. it's very hurtful.. best way to explain it.. there are many ways to satisfy a man.. this in itself could bring you & him so much closer.. though he should try his best to come to you when you're not tired.. to seek when the best time is FOR YOU..

When I was the higher drive.. I literally made myself available at any waking hour that was BEST for my husband.. that way I got more sex !
 

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2 very helpful books to gauge what's REALLY important to each of you.. and your differences in that process -to where both of you may need to heat things up a bit ..

*** The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts





Love Languages Personal Profile








The other book HIGHLY recommended here >>

*** His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage ~ these are the Core Emotional Needs addressed in that book....

10 Emotional needs:


1. Admiration
2. Affection
3. Conversation
4. Domestic support
5. Family commitment
6. Financial support
7. Honesty and openness
8. Physical attractiveness
9. Recreational companionship
10. Sexual fulfillment
Emotional Needs Questionnaire


........
 

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Whittelily,

When I recovered my marriage in 2008, the one thing which helped me was the realization that whatever wrong my wife did to me did not justify my treating my wife the same way. I decided to improve how I treat my wife as a way to improve myself. I ended the mutual blaming which deadlocks many relationships.

Tamat
 

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I hope your husband is open to reading books & discussing. I could have avoided a lot of strife in my relationship. Communication and compromise on both sides will really keep things moving smoothly. And kudos for asking questions on TAM.
 
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