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My husband recently took a job in Ohio.. not the best state but it pays well. This job is a permanent job for him that he plans to stay at for quite a while over 2 years. He wants to get a bunch of certifications through this company ect.

He will never have the opportunity to come home, he works 6 days and off 1. No vacation time and i live in NC so a 10 hour drive is not worth coming home for 1 day.

I am not a fan of Ohio.. however i love my family and my husband. I have asked that we come there with him. He stumbles over the idea and says sure.. then he will say no.. today i found a great house that would fit our family perfectly. The agent is willing to meet with my husband.. I call him to tell him about it and he tells me we are not coming there with him.

To my surprise he is bluntly telling me WE ARE NOT COMING.. We have 3 children ages 13, 10 and 4. i do not have a house to sell because we have already sold it and i am currently living with my family. Living with my family because he failed at keeping a steady income here and we ended up financially strapped.

I do not understand that my husband finally has a great paying job. I work in the financial industry and to be honest it wont be hard for me to find a job. We have had several ups and downs.. a lot in the past year or so.. even before he took this job 3 months ago we were not sure we were even goign to be together. But we swore we would work on things and give it our best effort.

I am scared that he has left me, he just does not have the guts to ACTAULLY leave me.. PLEASE any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

.... I have asked him to make a choice his job or his family.. he tells me im senseless and need to get my priorities right and realize he is trying to provide for his family.
 

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I have asked him to make a choice his job or his family..

Sounds like he has already told you that he is choosing NOT family. Start working on Plan B. If it's a wonderful job, he should be happy to send you child support...and you said you can find a job. If I were you, my Plan B would include finding employment and a home for my family without the H.
 

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What reason did he give for you to not go out there? It sounds like he does have the guts to leave you; he just doesn't have the balls to tell you it's over.

If I was you, I'd tell him that he either work with you to determine what you two are doing, or you'll start the separation/divorce proceedings. Make sure you figure out which state would be better to file for you, and any important date/timelines. You can't force him to stay in the marriage against his will, but you can take steps to protect you and your kids.

C
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Have you ever pressured your husband to get a better paying job? I get the feeling that he's angry/upset. And is saying see I found a good job and now you won't have me. Was this worth it?

Could be all wrong.... but....
 

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You need to either drive,get a plane ticket or train ticket and just show up at his place and get it figured out.What he wants is not a family in any definition of the word, so you need to go see what is happening then tell him if he wants a family you two will be looking for houses while you are there and putting a down payment on one,then tell him you and the kids will be there the next weekend.
 

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Sorry, he dumped you. Any self respected man would bring his family for a such long stint. Six months, o.k. then come back. Make a court order for immediate relief, child support and maintenance. you can do it your self by filing the right forms or have a lawyer do it for you. Getting a lawyer will yield faster results. Your husband may be required to pay your lawyer fees. There is a form for that too.

This may tell him to get his priorities straight and return to the woman and children he loves. He can take them apples to the bank too like he told you!

Don't argue with him or criticize. He may feel not worthy or a failure in your eyes. You will not really know because us men don't know how to do this and don't share our emotions that make women feel closer to us., He is flooded and the way he is behaving is his way to clear the slate and not think. When you are able to come together emotionally with reasons an understand what both want and feel, then only both of you can problem solve.

Do not go to Ohio. It is a very depressed state. Stay in the state you are in. One or two of your cities were ranked well with job growth and a great place to live.

Good luck!
 

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Zombie thread. Closing.
 
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