[VexingViolet]

Background: My husband is obsessed with his daughter's soccer team. While I understand and encourage his going to some games, I don't approve his going to every game. They take place every weekend and five hours away from home. She is attending college. He also travels to the away games. There is no time left in his life for any other endeavors or our life together. I have gone to some games with him, but when I want to do something else or spend time in our home, he leaves anyway. He is also going to his daughter's friends games at other universities. Those friends are 18 and 19 year olds whom my husband has known for three years. Recently these girls have begun texting my husband. One attends school five minutes away from our home. When I first met this woman at the end of one of the games, she and my husband hugged each other tightly and did this little up and down dance which left me speechless because he basically vigorously rubbed her breasts with his chest. He then introduced me by name and not as his wife. Last week my husband said he was meeting this woman at 930 pm because he had tickets for her father to a game. He did not ask me to go. The next day he went to an away game and stayed overnight. I found out that he exchanged texts with this woman for two hours while in his hotel room. He never even called me. To be fair the texts are innocent enough and all about soccer - his obsession. I just feel very uncomfortable. Given my husband's behavior the time I first met her. I don't think it's appropriate for him to exchange texts with his daughter's friend or meet her at night. Why doesn't he do that with her parents? Am I overreacting?

 

[PeaceTrain]

Am I overreacting?

You are not overreacting. Just clearly tell him it is bothering you a great deal and he needs to stop that. He needs to accomodate some of your priority too. I see some red flag with 19/20 years hugging him. Don't let it continue. World is a strange place and people are complex creatures.

 

[Trying2figureitout]

No budding EA/PA stop it.

 

[that_girl]

He's wanting to sleep with her and she's too naive to know what she's getting into. Or maybe she knows exactly what she's doing. Gross.

But yea...it's totally inappropriate. Nip this. If that was my dad with my friend, I'd be mortified. Gross.

 

[ladybird]

He's wanting to sleep with her and she's too naive to know what she's getting into. Or maybe she knows exactly what she's doing. Gross.

But yea...it's totally inappropriate. Nip this. If that was my dad with my friend, I'd be mortified. Gross.

:iagree:. I think the girl knows exactly what she is doing. You need to nip this thing in the bud now, it is totally inappropriate!

 

[wiigirl]

He's wanting to sleep with her and she's too naive to know what she's getting into. Or maybe she knows exactly what she's doing. Gross.

But yea...it's totally inappropriate. Nip this. If that was my dad with my friend, I'd be mortified. Gross.

Nip this...now. This will end badly.

 

[tom67]

Nip this...now. This will end badly.

Yea this is at very least inappropiate put the hammer down imo.

 

[Needpeace]

Eeewww.......sort of gave me a sickly feeling, I reeaally agree with all above comments.

It's just wrong on so many levels.

 

[CanadianGuy]

Creepy.

One can only hope that the bad ass dad of one of these young women does not find out before it's to late.

 

[Pault]

OH dear. Coming from a country where soccer is a mainstay sport I understand the "fan" mentallity and theat of the supportive parent. But this appears to be stepping over that line even in a soccer fanatics environment.

This "obsession" is akin to some dirty old man watching school girls in hockey games. If he was taking you and sthe games attended AND the games were soley those involving your daughter then ok I could go for that as understandable. Parents do get highly involved in the game when their children are achieving high standards and are likely be accepted by a professional club, this does nto appear to be anywhere in that frame. and as CanadianGuy suggests - maybe some other guys whose daughter us playing here may NOT like the style of attention being shown..
Being away, even overnight demands that the away partner contacts home and provides affirmation of love and trust. Texting young ladies who may or may not know what is transpiring is bang out of order. He a husband and a girls Dad and MUST act that way, no way is this acceptable. These is a clear disrespect for you in the explaination youve given.
I think its time for "sit down, pin back your ears and listen" converstion due and you are entitled to be straight and blunt about it.

I just hope it works out happily for you.

 

[ScarletBegonias]

this is so wrong.Apparently he likes them barely legal.

These girls aren't stupid,they know exactly what they're doing and probably like the attention.
This needs to be stopped NOW.There is no reason for a grown and married man to be texting a young college girl unless the girl is his daughter.

 

[gbrad]

I was going to be creeped out until I read that the girls were in college. Atleast they are of age, that makes it better. What I don't really understand, is his obsession with soccer? That is baffling.

 

[daisygirl 41]

This has got to be a joke right?
I'm sorry but this so wrong on so many levels!
'Man' up and put a stop to it now!
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[daisygirl 41]

I was going to be creeped out until I read that the girls were in college. Atleast they are of age, that makes it better. What I don't really understand, is his obsession with soccer? That is baffling.

It's not the soccer he's obsessed with!!!!
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[BeachGuy]

I was going to be creeped out until I read that the girls were in college. Atleast they are of age, that makes it better. What I don't really understand, is his obsession with soccer? That is baffling.

Um...he's not obsessed with soccer. He's obsessed with the girls. He's going down a very dark road that can only end badly.

Can you get the daughter to talk to him and tell him it's just creepy and she wants it to stop? Maybe she doesn't "see it"?

 

[TCSRedhead]

This is very American Beauty-ish. His behavior is inappropriate. Time to have a conversation.

 

[ScarletBegonias]

This is very American Beauty-ish. His behavior is inappropriate. Time to have a conversation.

LOL i thought the exact same thing.

side note...love that movie except for that part of the story.it grossed me out to no end.

 

[anotherguy]

It's a bit creepy.

When I was in highschool my dad had a crush on my GF. That was creepy too.
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[that_girl]

My dad would probably kick his ass (if he was alive and I was 18 lol). This man has probably seen this girl/woman in her jammies if there ever was sleep over when they were younger, etc. GROSS! God knows what he was thinking then..

 

[kipani]

Generally when men have an affair they go for younger women. As soon as she opens that sex door, don't be naive.. He'd take it. After all, cheaters are only remorseful if they're caught. Until then, it's just an aching guilt.