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Ladies,

Please leave your thoughts and input. This is a situation I've been struggling to overcome for 2 years....any help or advice is wanted!

My husband (30 years old at the time, attractive and extremely successful) went to AC for a friend's 30th bday bash. Went to a fully nude strip club (no alcohol sold at nude strip bars) and spend $1400. He claims this money was spent on buying his friend a private room lap dance (about 20-30 mins long) with 2 strippers and also buying himself a private room dance with two strippers....HOWEVER, he admits that he, "busted a nut" (excuse my french) from the lap dance by the stripper rubbing her ass against him.

Now, this story was told to me over the course of two years. Initially, he lied about going to a strip club--said he never even went. Until,I smelled perfume on his shirt and saw on his bank statement that $1400 was charged at the strip club. Then, it took him another year to admit to me that he actually bought a private room and "got off."

I have never been to a strip club! I dont know what goes on there! All I know is that it would probably hurt rubbing someone's bare butt against jeans for 30 mins. So, therefore, it's probably safe to say that it's NOT how he "finished." He swears on everything that he is telling me the truth.

What are your thoughts? Before he left for the trip, I asked him not go to to strip club, he knew my feelings about them. While he was there, I was at home taking care of our 8 months old son. I was so hurt and felt so degraded. Am I wrong for feeling like this??

Before this happened I would describe our relationship as "normal". We had sex often and at the time I was 26 years old and I consider myself to be an attractive female.

I think about this all the time...and it has damaged me as a person that my husband could go that far. Am I overreacting? Is this normal male behavior?
 

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This is a guy weighing in. A few years ago I went to Vegas with several buddies. We ended up going to a strip club that didn't serve booze, but we were able to carry in our own. I had just a few lap dances and I dropped about $240. One buddy had two strippers give him a private lap dance where they used dildos on each other. He probably dropped about $700. I have never been to a strip club where you could actually have sex with the girls. I haven't even been to one where I saw BJ's being given. So, its entirely likely that your husband dropped $1,400.
 

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Agree with Camarillo.....they got the girl on girl party. Ranges from 600 - 700 out here and the girls aren't even that good. Good news is that it is very rare to get bjs or sex in the strip club. Bad news that it is a normal physical response for a man to come when a girl is grinding on him while watching a show. Add to that amount the drinks and tipping....you get the point.
 

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This is a guy weighing in. A few years ago I went to Vegas with several buddies. We ended up going to a strip club that didn't serve booze, but we were able to carry in our own. I had just a few lap dances and I dropped about $240. One buddy had two strippers give him a private lap dance where they used dildos on each other. He probably dropped about $700. I have never been to a strip club where you could actually have sex with the girls. I haven't even been to one where I saw BJ's being given. So, its entirely likely that your husband dropped $1,400.
You are correct. Most strip clubs do not allow any touching by the males at all. I have been ROCK h**d in a club before, with more grinding I probably would have %[email protected] one also. At $60-$100 per song for 30 min for two guys. $1400 sounds about right.
 

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Considering how you found out the details it sounds an awful lot like trickle truth to me - you probably got enough of the truth in order for your H to think he convinced you to not dig any further into this.

Then again, it is pure speculation on my part, perhaps you did get the entire truth, no way that anybody on an anonymous forum who wasn't actually there can tell you what really went on.

Oh, I will also add that a friend of mine told me about a trip to Vegas he took one time, and in one day dropped about $3k, half of it on booze and some drugs, the other half on an "escort" that gave him the full meal deal.
 

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If you want to get laid, you do NOT go to a strip joint. I've been to a few in my life. And although Ive never dropped 4 figures, I've heard of people who had. No sex. Ejaculation in my pants while she grinds me? Maybe...

What is that Chris Rock "song"? "There is NO SEX in the champaign room."

Your husband told you he would not go to a strip joint. He not only did, he spent HUGE bucks doing it. And someone wonders why there was trickle truth?
 

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Whether you have the whole truth or not, the fact is that your husband got his rocks off as a result of ministrations from another woman. In my books, that is cheating.

How do you know this is the only time he's done such a thing?
:iagree:

'busted a nut'? 'got off' Really? How nice. You both had an understanding - and he is off ejaculating (hopefully?) in his pants with some skank grinding on his crank or giving him a private handjob... if you are lucky. Perfume on his shirt when not expected...

I dont know. This is a pretty good sized breach of trust, considering this is a repeat offender.

I admit my wife, I know, isnt that excited about strip clubs, and neither am I... but if she had that up as a one of her 'veto's, you really need to honor that - at the VERY LEAST he needs to do what he says and what you agreed on. Did you agree?

Agreement is not simply 'yes dear' and do what you want anyway.

'normal behavior'? Not really - at least not for the happily married guys I know - its just not the way it is from my limited perspective. I have seen it with single guys I know, or guys that are on the rocks in their relationships etc. It the kind of behavior you find in young, single, partying 'alpha males'. In older men in stable relationships... not so much.
 

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you could spend 1400$ on an expensive escort.....but a lap dance thats just plain stupid and why would you want to be married to just plain stupid!

when my brother got divorce he would hire an expensive escotr which was about 200$ an hour and she was pretty and would do anything you wanted twice.

maybe he got an escort . 1400$ is a lot of money maybe its just me but I wouldn't pay 1400$ for a dance or sex for that matter when my hand and a good imagine works just fine!!!!

guess I'm cheap!
 
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Whether you have the whole truth or not, the fact is that your husband got his rocks off as a result of ministrations from another woman. In my books, that is cheating
I agree with Hope. This is exactly the reason I wouldn't want my H going to a strip club (at least without me). I don't really see how having a naked girl rub herself all over him and him get off as being "okay". The only difference between that and "real" sex is the fact the he still has his clothes on. That's too fine a line for me and not one I'm willing to live with.

If he agreed not to go and then spent $1400 on WHATEVER with another woman, he doesn't have much respect for you or your feelings. I'd call it cheating.
 

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I agree seems like the money could be spent better on something else. Those girls are trained in the fine art of removing dollars from mens wallets and it sounds like they had a good night depending upon the club depends upon what goes on. some clubs allow prostitution some dont I have seen it all at these places
 

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It sounds to me like he is telling the truth. I think any kind of sexual favor going on would be under the table (no pun intended) and you wouldn't see it charged on your bank statement. That said, I don't care if my SO goes to strip clubs but so help me, if he ever gets off by seeing or being touched in anyway by a stripper that is where I would flip out. I agree that it is borderline cheating at that point.
 

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if it was a truly a lap dance and he creamed his jeans thats just crazy.


but I would be more pi$$ed about wasting 1400$ are you f*cking kidding me thats the worst waste of money I can think of.crazy

this guy sounds like a loser with a capital L
 

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HOWEVER, he admits that he, "bsted a nt" (excuse my french) from the lap dance by the strpper rubbing her a** against him.
Hell, he's probably telling the truth. He could have easily left the nut bust part out of the story.

I'm a cheapskate, so I'd need a lot more than some azz rubbed against my jeans for $1400.
 

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$1400 dollars for a lap dance? You know exactly what happened. He just doesn't want to admit to the deed with the high priced hookers.
 
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