I know exactly what you mean. When you know your deeds are going to be disparaged, all the incentive goes away. Especially, any "take charge"..... you simply want to avoid decisions because nothing, but nothing, you do is ever going to be "good enough". He will find fault with it somewhere.He I know wants me to take charge and step up but really hard when he says I'm boring if you get what I mean.
Yours is a case where a good marriage counselor could help. But, he probably won't go, because he wants YOU to change.