the same situation...Raw details:
He is 35, I just turned 30.I have maintained my weight and looks despite having a child and am considered pretty and sexy looking (32DD with 25 waist and 38 hip/ass ratio at 5'2" with nice face). We have 1 child together. Together 6-7ish years.
Husband makes excuses like he feels ill (says he has IBS) or is too tired to avoid sex. This happens at all times of the day (I try to initiate). In fact, sometimes if I get all dressed up in lingerie and want to do something he like freezes up and 9/10 times turns it down. The only time we have sex is when he initiattes which is always in bed when we are about to sleep bu just like touching one of my breasts... that is it and thinks that is all I need so he can push me ontop of him and go for like 5 minutes... this is not how it always was but it has been this way for like 3 years now and I am over it. HOWEVER when we go on vacations he has sex the whole time like one to 3 times a day and acts differently so I think he is so full of shhhh using excuses at home and leads me to believe he is cheating, going to strip clubs, and at times I seriously question his sexual preference (if he is straight only because I honestly do not think straight men would turn me down in lingerie trying to initiate in a variety of ways). I have found his browser info on his phone showing he watches porn almost daily to whack off so he is purposely choosing that.
So I tell myself he is just lazy and contemplate staying together for the sake of our child. I also discovered that if I pretend to cheat on chats or he sees me flirt in person, he then will want to have sex but becomes angry with me, but I do this because I know I will get sex out of it from him. I am at a point where I try to open up discussion of an open relationship so I can get what I need, but he always says no he is monogamous only which I think is total BS, he is purposely not having sex with me and looking at porn. I have asked men in person about this and they all say it is not normal but I don't know if they are honest or maybe even blind to their own behaviors. Are there men out there who maintain interest in their wife after 5 years honestly or would I just be leaving to do the whole thing over again?Thoughts?