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I use to have high self confidence. Now I think something wrong with me. My husband won't look at me or touch me. I have to get an attitude if I want sex. I miss how making out can turn into something. When I to initiate sex I get a bunch of excuses. I feel something is wrong with me. We talk about nothing ever changes. I don't know. I'm at the end of my rope
 

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Since this has been going on from the start it sounds like he liked the idea of being your first, but that's it. When you're out you probably catch him looking at other women, so I doubt it's his drive.
 

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I feel your pain, I'm kinda in the same situation, but except for the porn thing. Which is a serious problem (I've never understood why people prefer videos over the real thing). I get along with my wife enjoy our time a lot. So the lack of sex doesn't even bother me anymore. Good luck.
 

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I feel your pain, I'm kinda in the same situation, but except for the porn thing. Which is a serious problem (I've never understood why people prefer videos over the real thing). I get along with my wife enjoy our time a lot. So the lack of sex doesn't even bother me anymore. Good luck.
Because there is nothing else
 

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So you thought not having sex for 7 years was normal because you weren’t married?
So from 19 to 26 you were dating with no sex and your expectation is that saying “I Do” would turn you both into people of plentiful sexuality? Your living in dream land. You already taught him porn was his only outlet.....trained him for 7 years.
 

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There are guys that have low sex drives. I worked with a guy for many years and he had said his desire for sex was about 3 times a month and his wife would do it daily if he would.

As far as the porn thing and I assume he is masturbating too, he needs to grow up and cut that out. Nothing wrong with masturbation as long as it doesn't cheat your partner out of a sexual encounter. We have a rule, no masturbating without asking the other for sex first. If they turn you down, then take care of business.
 

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Hi everyone. I've been lurking on here for quite awhile and am just getting the nerve to finally make a post.. So, my husband and I have been together for 13 years, married for 6. We met when I was 19 and at the time I wanted to wait until I was married to have sex. He was fine with that (wasn't necessarily waiting himself, but was fine with waiting too)..However, once we got married he never really had interest in sex. We do other stuff (usually I do stuff for him more than he does for me..) but sex itself he gets very uncomfortable about. When I bring it up and try to talk to him about it, he just gets mad at me and makes me feel sex obsessed for even addressing it. Which I'm not, but I also feel like this isn't normal. He always says every relationship is different and he brings up random friends of his and says 'I doubt they're having sex all the time' or 'take my parents, you think they're just doin it all the time?' (which his parents are in their 60s and have 3 children..so not really comparable to our situation..lol). He does have an issue with porn as well. Which he also gets mad at me for trying to talk about. We are very different people to begin with, but we get along fine day to day.. However, I find myself feeling like we're more roommates than a married couple. I just don't feel that connection that I believe a married couple should have..

We got into a bit of a discussion about physical stuff this past weekend and I brought up that even when I get all dolled up, or times when we had plans and I make a point to dress actually sexy he still showed 0 interest in me.. He laughed and told me I only do that every once in awhile. Which is true, I don't always dress super sexy..but I wear nice clothes and make up..Fix my hair nice, etc. I might not be this super sexy thing 24/7 but I don't look a big mess or anything either..

I just don't know what to do anymore. He thinks things are fine and I drop hints that I'm not happy, and talk about like marriage counseling..or like the 'what if' something happened between us and we weren't together. He basically says that any kind of break up is gonna be my decision, not his. So even as unhappy as I am sometimes, he doesn't seem to see that and also just makes me feel nuts for feeling like there's a problem. Some days I can just say oh well that's how things are.. especially with other stuff going on in my life right now that's keeping me busy - but when I stop and think about it I just feel very alone and don't want to feel this way forever..but also don't know how to fix any of this. I just feel stuck. ☹

If anyone has some advice I'd definitely appreciate it. Thanks..
Ugh I'm sorry that you are going through this. It's frustrating for me as a male to see this also happen to females since I am almost in the same exact situation. I believe he may have some sort of anxiety about sex or having sex. Maybe if you keep openly discussing about intimacy and feeling depressed he will seek marriage counseling or try to figure out why he feels the way he does. I hope that you are able to get this resolved with him...
 
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