Likewise, I spent a small fortune sending my BPDer exW to six different psychologists for weekly sessions for 15 years. And we saw 3 MCs. None of it made a dent in her bad behavior. Not one dent.He has seen a psychiatrist, an individual counsellor, we have gone to 3 marriage counsellors where he lied, denied, charmed and threw me under the bus while ignoring their advice.
The lying is much more characteristic of NPD than BPD. My experience is that, although a BPDer will lie to avoid humiliation, he generally tries to avoid it. A BPDer is filled with so much self loathing and guilt that the last thing he wants to do is one more thing that adds to that guilt.If he fears disapproval, it’s ok to lie. He lies even when telling the truth would be beneficial.
More importantly, a BPDer usually has no need to lie because he is so heavily reliant on projection. His subconscious works 24/7 protecting his fragile ego from seeing too much of reality (i.e., from seeing his own mistakes and bad behavior). It accomplishes this by projecting nearly all bad feelings/thoughts onto you. Because that projection occurs entirely at the subconscious level, a BPDer usually is absolutely convinced that those hurtful thoughts/feelings are originating from you.
No, ODD is a term that is only used to describe the behavior of children. Psychologists use ODD and "conduct disorder" to describe bad behavior in childhood because, given that a child's personality is still evolving, psychologists are loath to use PD terms (e.g., BPD, NPD, and ASPD) to describe anyone under the age of 18. Keep in mind that all of us behave like BPDers 24/7 throughout early childhood and many of us start behaving that way again for several years when our hormones are raging in our early teens.I have wondered if he has Oppositional Defiant Disorder as it appears to be his objective to be as difficult and pissy as possible.
Although most children exhibiting ODD do not develop BPD, a few small studies nonetheless have found a strong association between the two. A 2012 study, for example, concludes "Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and ODD were the only child psychiatric disorders to predict BPD symptoms, and the oppositional behavioral dimension of ODD was particularly predictive of BPD. These results indicate possible developmental links between early psychiatric disorders and BPD." See J Abnorm Child Psych 2012 Study.