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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
You think the OP's husband is trying to be a photographer at age 50, yet the OP wasn't concerned about him taking 400 (?!) photos, rather the subject(s) of the photos and the engagement with the photographic subject afterward. Candy, lunch, etc. He already knows his wife isn't cool with this, but continues all the while lying about what is going on. He could learn photography taking pictures of flowers, dogs, his wife, or the business that is paying him. Some of us have seen this movie before with male friends, colleagues, acquaintances arriving in late middle age and refusing to accept that they are closer to the end than the beginning of their lives. A lot of them just go completely off of the rails. As a young man, I had a boss who at 49 quit his job of 30 years, left his wife and family to go live in a hippie commune with a girl half his age. Op's hubby may be an "artiste" in progress, but I doubt it.
That is what he was justifying to me that he is an ‘Artist’. Ha ha. I know his type of girls and now I know his operating style. He is employed to cover events in the company and take portraits etc for intranet. When he sees his type, he asks them to visit him again( this time with change of clothes). Mind that he is not a fashion photographer(actually not a trained one too). He then uses this occasion to further his contacts with the girls. This time he even deleted his conversation and the email exchange from his phone.
Since I want to give him another(last one) chance, I have asked him to move to another department( it is technically possible but have to wait until a vacancy appears). I don’t want to break the family as yet. Poor children will suffer.
 

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Discussion Starter · #23 ·
I can’t understand why you want to stay with a man (chid) who acts this way.

Do you earn your own income? Can you support yourself?
After staying at home for 15 years(that’s what he n his mother wished), taking care of the kids and household, I started with my second master in 2019 ( not yet complete). ThankfullyI have a full time job since last year
 

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Discussion Starter · #25 ·
So are you saying he isn't a very good photographer? You have him nailed, just middle-age crazies. Sorry you are dealing with this, but unfortunately your husband is far from unique. If he looked in the mirror he would see.
Well, to be honest my pics come out better when I click them;-) (without filter/editing)
 

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We are on the brink of buying a house and I am wondering if I am doing the right thing. I can’t take any more lies from him.

I wouldn't get a GOLDFISH with this slime bucket, much less invest in a house.

I honestly don't get why women refuse to see the writing on the wall when it's literally up there in neon. Instead, they foolishly plunge forward anyway and a few years later - SHOCKER!! - they're crying about "what a mistake they made."

Not only would I NOT buy a house with this smarmy lowlife, but I would have left his shady ass years ago.

Since I want to give him another(last one) chance, I have asked him to move to another department( it is technically possible but have to wait until a vacancy appears). I don’t want to break the family as yet. Poor children will suffer.
Reading further into the thread, I see you're one of the ladies that choose not to see the writing on the wall and instead want to give him yet ANOTHER chance. :rolleyes:

I'll just say good luck to you.
 

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His mum is enabling the behaviour, she seems even weirder than him, is she proud her son is a bit of a lech?
Fixed it for ya.;)

OP, how long have you been married and how old are your children?

I would not buy a house with this guy. He claims he would never leave you - what a guy🤮.
 

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Fixed it for ya.;)

OP, how long have you been married and how old are your children?

I would not buy a house with this guy. He claims he would never leave you - what a guy🤮.
Of course he isn't going to leave OP, she has a good job and cooks for him while he plies his "hobby". He must not be much of a "graphics designer" either since at middle age he isn't working in that discipline.
 

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We have been married for 17 years n have two kids-16 & 11
Not sure the size of your town, hope people don't begin talking about hubby's extracurricular activities. In this time of social media, it could become talk of FB and familiar to the kids via their friends. Like "how come your dad is taking photos of young girls?"
 

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Discussion Starter · #34 ·
Not sure the size of your town, hope people don't begin talking about hubby's extracurricular activities. In this time of social media, it could become talk of FB and familiar to the kids via their friends. Like "how come your dad is taking photos of young girls?"
You read my mind- it is a small town and this time the muse is from my community, which is quite active on social media. Last time, the girl knew one of my classmates in Masters ☹
 

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You read my mind- it is a small town and this time the muse is from my community, which is quite active on social media. Last time, the girl knew one of my classmates in Masters ☹
I hate to say it… but this may be a good thing. 😖

As a poster mentioned, sometimes these things becoming public knowledge are a gift in disguise.

I really don’t see things working out too well for him when outside circumstances force a change.

You sound intelligent and light-hearted despite this all - don’t ever lose that, no matter what this must be doing to you inside. The time will come when you’ll know what to do.

It’s interesting that you’re only buying a house now that you’ve got your Masters and working full time. I’d be extremely cautious making major financial decisions alongside the amateur photographer you’re married to. Smart women in your situation need to stay smart 😉
 

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After staying at home for 15 years(that’s what he n his mother wished), taking care of the kids and household, I started with my second master in 2019 ( not yet complete). ThankfullyI have a full time job since last year
How old are you and your children?
 

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I am going through some emotional upheaval. I am an Asian married to a German for 18 years. My husband just took up a job as a photographer where he takes portraits, covers events etc in a company. He is actually a graphic designer. In 2019 I discovered that he took around 400 shots of a girl half his age, selected some to edit and used it as an excuse to initiate contact with her. Of course, the girl was happy to get a free portfolio done. They exchanged emails, he went especially to pick n drop her. Sent her chocolates etc. And his dream crashed when I chanced upon all of these in his emails. (Of course none of it was an official task). We had a major discussion and I forgave him after a few months n we moved on.
Just last week I got to know about another episode which he carried on in the same manner- girl came to get an official portrait clicked, he fancied her n asked her to get a series clicked(nothing official),clicked tonnes of pics, edited them, went personally to deliver the pen drive n again for lunch to get it back. When I confronted him, as usual he lied about everything.
Pls guide me, what to do? Am I just being envious, am I over- reacting? I am an open n friendly person who does not have secrets with him. If he ever got possessive about anyone being over- friendly with me, I distanced myself away from that person.
We are on the brink of buying a house and I am wondering if I am doing the right thing. I can’t take any more lies from him.
Ohh I've heard this story before. I knew of a man who was a photographer, and would do strictly hot women's photos. It turned out he was having multiple affairs with them, and the poor wife couldn't even leave, as she didn't have the financial means to do so. The arts are a dangerous slope. Just look at what Diego Rivera (the artist) did, and Pablo Picasso.

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation, but your gut is not wrong. He lied to you, don't allow him to deny your reality. This is a form of gaslighting. You stick to your guns.
 

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The guy is exhibiting predatory behavior in young girls? He’s a liar. He’s a “photographer”...

just what are his good qualities. Yes, if I were you I’d ditch this trash and move on.

Buy a house with him? Geez
 
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