Here is a quick synopsis of our relationship: My husband and I have been living together off and on for the last four years because I am in the military and he is attending college. He spends the summers with me, and he is home when in class. He intends on graduating and moving to be with me. The most time we have ever lived together is about 7 or 8 months.
He has a lot of trouble in college and finding work because he self-sabotages. Either doesn't study or go to class and fails, and doesn't put in any effort. Has not been employed for about two years now.
He left again in August to go back to school. In October he had a nervous breakdown and told me he failed a test, wasn't going to pass his class, and had to withdraw. This caused him to begin therapy and plans on going on medication for depression in December.
So last week I needed to submit some paperwork to the military showing he was in school, and needed something that said the dates of his course. He gave me his transcript and his latest course wasn't on it with all his other withdrawals.
So he has another nervous breakdown where he tells me he was lying about attending school and that he hadn't been able to register. He didn't tell me in the first place because he was afraid of how I'd react.
So I don't know what to think. I feel sad that he didn't tell me in the first place, and a bit angry that he lied to me, but I know he did not do it to be mean and only did it out of shame and fear of me being disappointed.
The big problem is that I am deploying soon and will only see him for 2 weeks during Christmas before I leave for a year. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to build up trust in a man I never see, and I have many mixed feelings about this.
Would appreciate any guidance or opinions you have, thank you.
He has a lot of trouble in college and finding work because he self-sabotages. Either doesn't study or go to class and fails, and doesn't put in any effort. Has not been employed for about two years now.
He left again in August to go back to school. In October he had a nervous breakdown and told me he failed a test, wasn't going to pass his class, and had to withdraw. This caused him to begin therapy and plans on going on medication for depression in December.
So last week I needed to submit some paperwork to the military showing he was in school, and needed something that said the dates of his course. He gave me his transcript and his latest course wasn't on it with all his other withdrawals.
So he has another nervous breakdown where he tells me he was lying about attending school and that he hadn't been able to register. He didn't tell me in the first place because he was afraid of how I'd react.
So I don't know what to think. I feel sad that he didn't tell me in the first place, and a bit angry that he lied to me, but I know he did not do it to be mean and only did it out of shame and fear of me being disappointed.
The big problem is that I am deploying soon and will only see him for 2 weeks during Christmas before I leave for a year. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to build up trust in a man I never see, and I have many mixed feelings about this.
Would appreciate any guidance or opinions you have, thank you.