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Husband is "too tired" for sex?

3311 Views 15 Replies 10 Participants Last post by  lancaster
I'm 21 years old, and am married to a 34 year old man.
At first he was very physical, we made love multiple times a day. For the first year, I'd say. We have a 6 month old child, so of course that had toned down for a little while... but it is at the point now where he only wants sex about once a week. I have lost all the baby weight and I do things to surprise him and keep him interested, but he always says he is too tired.
At first I was worried about porn or maybe another woman, but watching him he really is tired. He goes to bed at 8PM, and has no energy. He always complains that his chest and stomach hurt. A doctor told him he had low testosterone due to pain medications he has been on for a few years.
I don't really know what to do. I'm sexually frustrated and of course it hurts my feelings when I get turned down after presenting myself to him, but then I feel bad for even pushing the issue when he says he doesn't feel well.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? Should I be worried about an affair or can a guy really be so tired that he loses interest in sex?
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They didn't do any extensive testing, they said he had extremely low T levels and told him to give himself a shot of testosterone once a week. However, he has ben passing blood (possible ulcerative colitis) and complains of chest pain. He does seem exhausted, he goes to bed at 8 every night.
But then on the other side he has had plenty of energy to go on these random mood swings when he is awake. He will go from fine to flipping out in a matter of seconds.
I'm just feeling really shut out because I feel like he is always either asleep or angry and he won't say why or even acknowledge it. I feel bad when I push him to be physically intimate with me but I'm getting frustrated now, too.
I just don't know if it really comes down to him having a problem with me and possibly seeing someone else or having his needs met elsewhere, or if it really is just his health and exhaustion. I think it's the temper he has that is confusing me, because that makes it feel like it's more than just him being tired.
He is so young to have these problems, and I think it does hurt his pride as a man (even if I don't say anything, which I try not to) when he can't have sex.
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I had considered diabetes before... it runs in his family and that could be another possible explanation for the mood swings?
When he has the rare good day he seems to be just over the moon excited about our daughter and gushes about how lucky he is to have me... if there was any resentment he had toward me I was unaware of it.
I just have such a hard time comprehending not even wanting sex more than once a week.
Well, I am of course trying to be really supportive.
I try and make sure he is as comfortable as possible, I pack his work lunches and have his dinner ready, I rub his back to try and get him to relax, I make sure the house is in order and I always look put together when he gets home.
If he is depressed I think it's more from being tired and not feeling well. He doesn't have insurance right now, and won't till June. I'm trying to do everything I can, it's just hard. I almost feel like a single mom, he just sleeps all the time. He isn't interested in being intimate, and my best friend has been replaced by this moody stranger who just flies off the handle. He'll go from saying horrible things to me to crying and saying he didn't mean it and doesn't know why he said it, he says he can't think straight and doesn't feel well.
I'm just at a loss at the moment I guess. Not planning on leaving him or anything just frustrated both physically and emotionally, didn't know if anyone experienced something similar.
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