Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

8999 Views 8 Replies 7 Participants Last post by dubbizle, Nov 26, 2012

Dulciean

Discussion Starter · Nov 25, 2012 (Edited)

Hi- so glad to have found this forum. My husband and I are both plus- sized. But in his case he carries his weight on his belly- it is very large! Recently when we are having sex with him on top I feel as though I am being crushed and suffocated, it makes me quite panicky. When I get on top I feel flabby and get paranoid I am too heavy for him. Many sexual positions are impossible for us with hubby's giant tummy preventing proper penetration.we have always been roughly the same sizes as now, give or take 10 kilos. I am trying to she'd some weight for the summer( here in Australia) but I don't know how to broach the subject with hubby as he is highly sensitive and easily offended. Any insight or advice from anybody?

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StargateFan

· #2 · Nov 25, 2012

Try to focus on the health benefits versus the attraction/sex benefits. Those are an added plus. Get some lab tests at your next physicals. You both will likely have cholesterol issues and blood sugar issues. Take walks after dinner. Do some sexy yoga/stretching together. Take up gardening.

A sex swing can help with the positions. I particularly like one with a bungee cord and installed an electric hoist for optimal positioning with the least hassle. They are made for different weight categories, search the net. Bungee is very fun. My wife is not very orgasmic and the first time we used it she came 3 times in seven minutes and made me stop.

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KendalMintcake

· #3 · Nov 25, 2012

I am really jealous of you because you engage in this thing they sex. I believe it has something to do with with a special hug as the book 'where did I come from' states...ok just being sarcastic as haven't had sex for 5 months and my wife is oblivious as to how it makes me feel - she only cares about how guilty she feels when I bring it up making me twice as miserable as I already am. It i get to live a hellish life with no affection then take on responsibility for her guilt. A crappy hand to be dealt. The point is don't make a big deal because its a good problem to have and, just say I am going to loose weight so that it can be more enjoyable for you and less painful. If he is smart he should get the hint - it's sort if like offering someone a breath mint after you take one yourself. Ok good luck and good on ya! for getting into shape. Te best part is you are doing yourself a favor and maybe he would instead begin to worry that if he does not follow suit then more guys would come knocking on your door!
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Dulciean

Discussion Starter · #4 · Nov 25, 2012

Thanks for the replies- I will have a think about these ideas!

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dubbizle

· #5 · Nov 25, 2012

I think there is a book on postions for larger size people so try to find it and I think there are also websites.

The rear entry should work great and how about if he holds you legs up in the air as you lay on your back,no weight on you that way.

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EnjoliWoman

· #6 · Nov 25, 2012

I would suggest starting with a physical so the doctor can recommend (undoubtedly) that you two loose some weight and there are probably health issues such as blood pressure and/or cholesterol as another poster mentioned. Then you can start cooking better for both of you. Make it about you, not him. Men lose weight faster, usually - he probably won't have to try as hard. Ask him to take a walk with you after dinner. Hold hands and make it romantic, not some sort of forced exercise. As the pounds come off a bit, maybe he'll get excited about the changes. If he says he's lost some, make a big deal about it by saying you had noticed how good he was looking. Share your successes with each other to keep it happy and positive.

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40isthenew20

· #7 · Nov 25, 2012

If you're both overweight to the point that any sex position is cumbersome, then a bell should be going off simultaneously in both of your heads. Yeah, people will say tat it's unhealthy and they are correct, but sex should be a motivating factor tat exceeds all others.

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crossbar

· #8 · Nov 26, 2012

I agree with stargatefan on this one. Have the talk with him. Stating that he is your man but at the current weight you both are at, you won't have a long life together. That you're afraid of the health of both of you. Before you talk to him, research and price gym memberships for the both of you. If you talk to him about going to the gym, then go!!! Find a trainer there that will work with the both of you.
If you do the shopping, start buying all low fat or no fat products. Start buying a lot more fruits and veggies. Start planning a health menu throughout the week. If there's nothing else in the house, then that's what he'll eat.

Don't make it about sex, make it about your health. To be honest, you start to live a healthy lifestyle, the sex will correct on it's own (actually, it will get a lot better) so there's no reason to bring it up.

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dubbizle

· #9 · Nov 26, 2012

Of course we all want them to be healthy and lose weight,but as we all know that takes time and I am sure they want to still have sex NOW so start looking into different postions and do some fun research and when you find something try it out and have fun. When the weight does start falling off you can add more postions to your bedroom.

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