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1 Posts
I have a somewhat unusual problem, I think. My first date with my husband was almost three years ago after we met on a online dating website. Our first date we spent 3 hours talking about nothing but sex and it was hot! We had both been married twice before and neither of us was looking to get married again, but we both wanted companionship.
My background is more common, I've had many sex partners over the years and always enjoyed a very healthy sex life, however; my husband is quite different. His sexual preferences run to the more exotic. He found the BDSM lifestyle in his 20's primarily because it let him explore sex without having to engage in conventional sex. He gets more sexual gratification from seeing women dressed in fetishwear (leather, pvc, latex etc.) and simply touching or rubbing on them than actually having sex. He also has a definite ideal body type and as luck would have it, I'm not it.
We have both been involved in the BDSM lifestyle since we met, because I found it fascinating and enjoy wearing the fetishwear myself, but it has proven to be more of a challenge than anything else. While I enjoy the BDSM world, I prefer really good "vanilla" sex, especially giving and receiving oral sex. My husband made it quite clear early on that he would not give oral sex and he really didn't care anything about receiving it as he preferred a handjob.
Our issue now is that my husband and I have almost no sex life at all. We play about once a month or so and it's usually mutual masturbation, we haven't had intercourse in almost 6 months. He is continually on the internet looking for another woman to play with us or act as a submissive or slave to serve both of us (I'm bisexual) however, he has shown no interest in trying to return the intimacy to our relationship. It's clear that he prefers these out of the normal scenarios to having an intimate relationship with me and I'm just about at the end of my rope. Our marriage is now suffering, BADLY!! Any suggestions???
My background is more common, I've had many sex partners over the years and always enjoyed a very healthy sex life, however; my husband is quite different. His sexual preferences run to the more exotic. He found the BDSM lifestyle in his 20's primarily because it let him explore sex without having to engage in conventional sex. He gets more sexual gratification from seeing women dressed in fetishwear (leather, pvc, latex etc.) and simply touching or rubbing on them than actually having sex. He also has a definite ideal body type and as luck would have it, I'm not it.
We have both been involved in the BDSM lifestyle since we met, because I found it fascinating and enjoy wearing the fetishwear myself, but it has proven to be more of a challenge than anything else. While I enjoy the BDSM world, I prefer really good "vanilla" sex, especially giving and receiving oral sex. My husband made it quite clear early on that he would not give oral sex and he really didn't care anything about receiving it as he preferred a handjob.
Our issue now is that my husband and I have almost no sex life at all. We play about once a month or so and it's usually mutual masturbation, we haven't had intercourse in almost 6 months. He is continually on the internet looking for another woman to play with us or act as a submissive or slave to serve both of us (I'm bisexual) however, he has shown no interest in trying to return the intimacy to our relationship. It's clear that he prefers these out of the normal scenarios to having an intimate relationship with me and I'm just about at the end of my rope. Our marriage is now suffering, BADLY!! Any suggestions???