I could use some outside perspective and advice.
I am feeling completely exhausted by my husband for the last 8 mths. Background: married 3yrs, no kids, moved 5x because "he was unhappy working at a f**ed up place"(6 job changes for him). Due to all of the moving, I have quit 2 really good paying jobs that took me 6mths to get hired at each time we moved. Due to the moving expenses & job changes there were many times where we had to scrape together change just to put a gallon of gas in our vehicles or get milk & bread. This last move left us living in a camper for 2mths w/o water or a stove.
We have now been living in a cute little house(2mths) we rent for cheap & after he quit every employer in his field of work within a 60mile radius, I convinced him to open up his own shop on Aug.1st.(before I met him, I had owned a couple of businesses and specialize in marketing). So, I took the last of the $ we had & filed his business & marketed it & it's been so far a steady flow of enough $ to pay the bills(barely).
I am completely exhausted by him now. I sold every bit of furniture, jewlery, anything worth money to pay for all the moves. He does not want me to get a job because he needs my help & bookeeping at the shop. This terrifies me because we have been frickin homeless for petes sakes & we need the $. I only have a couple hundred $ coming in a mth from online websites I run. So this, I can compromise on because I am working on a larger site that should equal a steady paycheck soon.
However, to give an example of what my daily life w/ him is like: The day we moved-he sat on the floor playing a video game on his phone the ENTIRE day while I carried everything in from the camper(had to wash everything because it was filthy) & put the house together. Now...he will only work 8-5(the business hrs sign says 7-5-his idea), he complains about being behind on jobs & customers getting angry. Gets mad at me when I say "you gotta do whatever it takes to get started". He gets home & sits. I do all the grocery shopping, cooking, picking up his cloths, dishes, pay bills, through his trash away, take out the trash, picking up his dishes etc. I have tried just not doing it, but then I pay the price. It just simply does not get done...for weeks. He won't even lock the door before we go to bed, turn off lights etc., even if I go to bed first. I pack his fricking lunch & he can't even remember to take it w/ him or bring it home. I am totally exhausted by him. After 3yrs of bill collectors & his ex calling him for child support, I finally took over paying his bills so I didn't have to deal w/ the stress of his yelling about the situation he put himself in. Now...he is 3mths behind in child suport, 3 mths behind on his truck payment & he's not willing to put in extra hrs at work when he has customers coming to him???!!!!
I daydream about what it was like when I was single & feeling lonely sitting in my apartment at night watching tv alone. I don't want to leave him and am not even considering it. So how the heck do you live w/ an adult that is sooo fricking irresponsible w/o it draining yourself?? I took 1 day off of work to stay at home just to get away from him because I am starting to snap at him & his stupid fart jokes & refernces to Family Guy & American Dad just make me look at him as an idiot. Yes, I have lost all respect for him. I like someone w/ a sense of humor but find it idiotic when it comes from someone who can't seem to be serious when needed. I think he is starting to resent me for not laughing anymore. Arghh...Please give me some advice on how to just enjoy his personality again and how to quit feeling like he expects me to be his mother, bookeeper, attorney, errand runner & everything else. I can't even sit & read a book w/o him interrupting me w/ a stupid quote from tv every other paragraph that i read literaly.
I am feeling completely exhausted by my husband for the last 8 mths. Background: married 3yrs, no kids, moved 5x because "he was unhappy working at a f**ed up place"(6 job changes for him). Due to all of the moving, I have quit 2 really good paying jobs that took me 6mths to get hired at each time we moved. Due to the moving expenses & job changes there were many times where we had to scrape together change just to put a gallon of gas in our vehicles or get milk & bread. This last move left us living in a camper for 2mths w/o water or a stove.
We have now been living in a cute little house(2mths) we rent for cheap & after he quit every employer in his field of work within a 60mile radius, I convinced him to open up his own shop on Aug.1st.(before I met him, I had owned a couple of businesses and specialize in marketing). So, I took the last of the $ we had & filed his business & marketed it & it's been so far a steady flow of enough $ to pay the bills(barely).
I am completely exhausted by him now. I sold every bit of furniture, jewlery, anything worth money to pay for all the moves. He does not want me to get a job because he needs my help & bookeeping at the shop. This terrifies me because we have been frickin homeless for petes sakes & we need the $. I only have a couple hundred $ coming in a mth from online websites I run. So this, I can compromise on because I am working on a larger site that should equal a steady paycheck soon.
However, to give an example of what my daily life w/ him is like: The day we moved-he sat on the floor playing a video game on his phone the ENTIRE day while I carried everything in from the camper(had to wash everything because it was filthy) & put the house together. Now...he will only work 8-5(the business hrs sign says 7-5-his idea), he complains about being behind on jobs & customers getting angry. Gets mad at me when I say "you gotta do whatever it takes to get started". He gets home & sits. I do all the grocery shopping, cooking, picking up his cloths, dishes, pay bills, through his trash away, take out the trash, picking up his dishes etc. I have tried just not doing it, but then I pay the price. It just simply does not get done...for weeks. He won't even lock the door before we go to bed, turn off lights etc., even if I go to bed first. I pack his fricking lunch & he can't even remember to take it w/ him or bring it home. I am totally exhausted by him. After 3yrs of bill collectors & his ex calling him for child support, I finally took over paying his bills so I didn't have to deal w/ the stress of his yelling about the situation he put himself in. Now...he is 3mths behind in child suport, 3 mths behind on his truck payment & he's not willing to put in extra hrs at work when he has customers coming to him???!!!!
I daydream about what it was like when I was single & feeling lonely sitting in my apartment at night watching tv alone. I don't want to leave him and am not even considering it. So how the heck do you live w/ an adult that is sooo fricking irresponsible w/o it draining yourself?? I took 1 day off of work to stay at home just to get away from him because I am starting to snap at him & his stupid fart jokes & refernces to Family Guy & American Dad just make me look at him as an idiot. Yes, I have lost all respect for him. I like someone w/ a sense of humor but find it idiotic when it comes from someone who can't seem to be serious when needed. I think he is starting to resent me for not laughing anymore. Arghh...Please give me some advice on how to just enjoy his personality again and how to quit feeling like he expects me to be his mother, bookeeper, attorney, errand runner & everything else. I can't even sit & read a book w/o him interrupting me w/ a stupid quote from tv every other paragraph that i read literaly.