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Let me start at the beginning. I am 43 and my husband is 45. We have been married for a year and a half. As soon as we got engaged, he meet up with an old high school girlfriend on facebook. He talked to her a lot and I warned him of it. He said he wasn't going to talk to her anymore but continued. Then I found messages where he was planning on meeting her and said that "he was not going to deny any feelings that he had for her when they met". I confronted him. He called her and broke it off. He told me that he would never talk to her again and that if I would still marry him that I would never regret it. He confessed after we were married that he never cut it off with her and talked to her up to the time we were married and actually went and met her. He said that after we were married, he had no more contact with her.
10 months after we were married, he started acting strange again. To make a long story short, he had been talking to his ex-wife about them getting back together. He had been gone a lot again and distant. I knew something was wrong. He told me that he wanted our marriage to work and would do anything that it took. He got on some antidepressants and we went to counseling for a few months. He seemed to really be trying.
The last few weeks we have been talking about buying a house together. I have had such an uneasy feeling about this. I still don't trust him. I needed to know that if the oportunity to betray me ever came up again that he would do the right thing. I bought a pre-paid cell phone and got the same area code as his old high school flame. I texted him and pretended to be her. A good husband would have either not responded or told her he wasn't interested. That is not what he did. He switched to texting her from his personal cell to his company cell and told her it was because I checked the cell records. He told her our marriage was up and down, that I was selfish, and that he never knew if today was going to be the day we splitup. All the while, he would come home to me and tell me how much he loved me more than life and still pushed for us to find a house. He holds me every night while we sleep and tells me I am the greatest wife in the world. Yesterday, he told her (me) that it was hard for him to text on his work phone so he would be purchasing a disposable phone after work to communicate with her.
Yesterday, I put a deposit down on a new place for me and my daughter. I am planning on moving Tuesday. HE knows none of this. I am so distraught. I am angry and overwhelmed with sadness because I loved this man so much and he trashed us. I have to pretend like I don't know so that I have time to get my ducks in a row.
Any advice? I am beside myself. No one knows what is happening but one of my coworkers and myself.
10 months after we were married, he started acting strange again. To make a long story short, he had been talking to his ex-wife about them getting back together. He had been gone a lot again and distant. I knew something was wrong. He told me that he wanted our marriage to work and would do anything that it took. He got on some antidepressants and we went to counseling for a few months. He seemed to really be trying.
The last few weeks we have been talking about buying a house together. I have had such an uneasy feeling about this. I still don't trust him. I needed to know that if the oportunity to betray me ever came up again that he would do the right thing. I bought a pre-paid cell phone and got the same area code as his old high school flame. I texted him and pretended to be her. A good husband would have either not responded or told her he wasn't interested. That is not what he did. He switched to texting her from his personal cell to his company cell and told her it was because I checked the cell records. He told her our marriage was up and down, that I was selfish, and that he never knew if today was going to be the day we splitup. All the while, he would come home to me and tell me how much he loved me more than life and still pushed for us to find a house. He holds me every night while we sleep and tells me I am the greatest wife in the world. Yesterday, he told her (me) that it was hard for him to text on his work phone so he would be purchasing a disposable phone after work to communicate with her.
Yesterday, I put a deposit down on a new place for me and my daughter. I am planning on moving Tuesday. HE knows none of this. I am so distraught. I am angry and overwhelmed with sadness because I loved this man so much and he trashed us. I have to pretend like I don't know so that I have time to get my ducks in a row.
Any advice? I am beside myself. No one knows what is happening but one of my coworkers and myself.