Talk About Marriage banner

61 - 80 of 103 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,219 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
Discussion Starter #62
Isn’t there a difference between involuntary no sex and voluntary no sex? It’s not like the husband can and doesn’t.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I only know that the situation is very sad for both of us . Calling him an arse and being angry with him is easier than facing the reality of never having sex again
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
Discussion Starter #63
A man with diabetes wants sex, probably very very badly indeed.

But if he can't get a good erection, or comes too early, as a result of his floppy penis, he will feel too ashamed to even attempt sex. Especially if his wife might have made a remark like: "Don't start what you can't finish" or "Why are you such an arse?" (for example.)

And a visit to McDonald's isn't too bad. They have salads and fresh fruit... and all the normal foods that stop you feeling like a such a ****ing sickly freak. :(

Phew! Sorry! that all just sort of bubbled out.:eek:
I have never ever said anything like that i have tried hard to back off and not pressure as u can appreciate i hope it is a difficult and very sad situation for us both and he really isnt an arse
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
28,159 Posts
I have never ever said anything like that i have tried hard to back off and not pressure as u can appreciate i hope it is a difficult and very sad situation for us both and he really isnt an arse
You haven't called him an arse to his face, or at a time when he might have overheard you, speaking to a friend? Well, that's good.

Because once heard something cannot be unheard.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
Discussion Starter #66
What about oral sex? You do that?
Does he do that?
Nope he doesnt like giving oral never has We have discussed this previously and he never has enjoyed giving oral with previous partners He of course loves to recieve it but even that is difficult then he feels he needs to perform even though i have lied and said its ok
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,942 Posts
What??? How would one know this? None of the letters are even present in the word ‘prescription’? What does it stand for?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I thought everyone knew this. Haven't you ever seen an old pharmacy with the letters RX in the sign?

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS818US818&biw=1000&bih=570&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=4jVCXMGEA6fajwTRx7CwBw&q=rx+pharmacy+sign&oq=rx+pharmacy+sign&gs_l=img.3..0.23682.25898..26160...0.0..0.149.1956.0j14......0....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i67j0i30j0i24.AX8B7hj__Yw

As for the origin, I never had any idea where it came from. Here's the scoop:
https://www.history.com/news/where-did-the-rx-symbol-come-from
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,942 Posts
Nope he doesnt like giving oral never has We have discussed this previously and he never has enjoyed giving oral with previous partners He of course loves to recieve it but even that is difficult then he feels he needs to perform even though i have lied and said its ok
Interesting.

I gotta think that if I was unable to perform vigorous, extended intercourse, I'd be pretty serious about brushing up on my oral skills! But maybe that's because I like giving oral in the first place. Still, I gotta think I'd adapt even if if i didn't dig it to begin with. My first pleasure comes in pleasing my wife in whatever way works.

I'll never understand men who want to receive oral but have no inclination to perform it. I honestly can't wrap my head around that concept. If I dig getting it so much, why on earth would I not be at least equally motivated to do the same for my partner?

Trust me, I'm thrilled you don't honestly think your husband is an arse, but this does sound like cause for concern here, and your unfortunate situation has really brought it to light in a way you may have been able to avoid in the past.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
Discussion Starter #70
You haven't called him an arse to his face, or at a time when he might have overheard you, speaking to a friend? Well, that's good.

Because once heard something cannot be unheard.
R u being sarcastic ? He is a good man really its the need for me to completley turn off all my desires and needs so he doesnt feel pressured or inadequate . That makes me wanna scream at him YOUR AN ARSE but i dont i just pretend everything is fine and lovely even suggesting i move out of the bedroom basically so i wont be tempted to hVe carnal plays in my sleep
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
Discussion Starter #71 (Edited)
Interesting.

I gotta think that if I was unable to perform vigorous, extended intercourse, I'd be pretty serious about brushing up on my oral skills! But maybe that's because I like giving oral in the first place. Still, I gotta think I'd adapt even if if i didn't dig it to begin with. My first pleasure comes in pleasing my wife in whatever way works.

I'll never understand men who want to receive oral but have no inclination to perform it. I honestly can't wrap my head around that concept. If I dig getting it so much, why on earth would I not be at least equally motivated to do the same for my partner?

Trust me, I'm thrilled you don't honestly think your husband is an arse, but this does sound like cause for concern here, and your unfortunate situation has really brought it to light in a way you may have been able to avoid in the past.
I could scrub myself with steel wool , i have tried chocolate syrup i have tried in the shower ,shaving etc etc everything i can think of i the start he just isnt into it -He has never had to work too hard at pleasing me cause i love it probs why i am finding it so difficult now He has never needed to perform vigorous extended intercourse
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,219 Posts
Nope he doesnt like giving oral never has We have discussed this previously and he never has enjoyed giving oral with previous partners He of course loves to recieve it but even that is difficult then he feels he needs to perform even though i have lied and said its ok
For the life of me, I never understand why anyone would marry someone that would not give then oral sex??
It's like them saying "I Don't Love you enough, but love me more".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,384 Posts
You know as you get old and things don't always work the way they used to, there comes a time when you have to branch out to meet each others needs. The most important thing you need to use is your imagination. You have to be open to new ideas. The sex my partner and I share is not much like the sex we had in our 20's. But we both still get our cookies.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,888 Posts
You know as you get old and things don't always work the way they used to, there comes a time when you have to branch out to meet each others needs. The most important thing you need to use is your imagination. You have to be open to new ideas. The sex my partner and I share is not much like the sex we had in our 20's. But we both still get our cookies.
It sounds like she is open, but he is not.

"This is uncomfortable for me so you just need to suck it up and do without." It's possible i am projecting because that was EXACTLY the message I got in my own previous marriage.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
8,122 Posts


Dude, what Rx would one need to stop repeating oneself? (Did I use it correctly?)

Thanks for the ED (education). I don’t think we use it in UK.

Oops. I think you edited your post so the joke doesn’t work anymore...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
8,122 Posts
For the life of me, I never understand why anyone would marry someone that would not give then oral sex??
It's like them saying "I Don't Love you enough, but love me more".

People seem to marry for all sorts of reasons that I don’t understand, it seems...

I remember when in school and I started hitting puberty, thinking about the intensity of how much I wanted to end up with my face buried between a girl’s legs was a pretty reliable indicator of how sexually attracted I was to her.

When I met my wife, I once came from just the thought of it....Very embarrassing. But in that instant I knew that that’s the person I needed to marry...And said ‘I do’ soon after. With my tongue.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,888 Posts
On calling husband an arse....

I get it. When you are sexually starved and starved of affection, especially when that is something that is very important to you, it can color all aspects of the relationship. That party is so lonely and miserable that what might be just minor annoyances otherwise become magnified, just another item on the stack of unhappiness.

And when it's sex....and when you're a woman....and when your hubby has a "condition," then it becomes all about how we should be understanding and in sickness and in health and how mean we are for wanting sex from the poor man. So add guilt and shame to the loneliness and unhappiness.

It's oh so fun.

You have my complete empathy, OP. I've been there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,384 Posts
It sounds like she is open, but he is not.

"This is uncomfortable for me so you just need to suck it up and do without." It's possible i am projecting because that was EXACTLY the message I got in my own previous marriage.
I felt a lot of that as well. it feels a lot like they are saying there is only one way to have sex and that isn't working. . . . . oh it's pointless guessing.
@Rejectedliver

Has your husband talked to a Doctor about his ED?
Has he tried any of the medications for that?
Has he used any mechanical method to get an erection?
Has he considered an implant?

Is he willing to talk to anyone about any of this? Even you?

My wife is lower drive and for several years she didn't want to talk about any way to improve our sexual frequency, because she was happy and I shouldn't be pushing her to change. But miraculously she changed and like many women here she was happier. I'm not saying the trouble is over, because I let it go on for so many years, she got into the habit of not listening to me. And he habits of avoidance have continued to deny sex to us as a couple. I understand not wanting to push, but it didn't help me. If nothing else get him to a doctor.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
28,159 Posts
R u being sarcastic ? He is a good man really its the need for me to completley turn off all my desires and needs so he doesnt feel pressured or inadequate . That makes me wanna scream at him YOUR AN ARSE but i dont i just pretend everything is fine and lovely even suggesting i move out of the bedroom basically so i wont be tempted to hVe carnal plays in my sleep
Why on earth would you think I am being sarcastic? :scratchhead:

I wasn't. :)

I think he needs specialist treatment for his ED and diabetes. Is he already getting that?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,717 Posts
What??? How would one know this? None of the letters are even present in the word ‘prescription’? What does it stand for?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Good point! I Googled and found this:

Rx: A medical prescription. The symbol "Rx" is usually said to stand for the Latin word "recipe" meaning "to take." It is customarily part of the superscription (heading) of a prescription.
 
61 - 80 of 103 Posts
Top