Hi everyone,
I am not sure that I posted before about this situation. I have been married for nearly 43 years and my husband is an alcoholic. He is what I would call at one time a functional one. He worked for 52 years and was very successful and respected in his field. He retired 2 years ago and has ramped up his drinking, his Ambien use and his depression. He also has some health issues that he will not address, he does not want me to be involved with his Dr. He does have an appointment next month and is refusing to go if I go along. He is overweight, and has very bad sinus issues, prostate issues, his ankles are swollen and feet are numb, his Mother passed away 3 years ago with Parkinsons and maybe he could be in the beginning stages of it, Plus his drinking and lying about his usage He hides it and denies that he over did it. Lately, he is getting worse, he gets drunk so bad that he is useless most of the next day. He adds 1/2 Ambien too and thinks it is perfectly fine.
Last weekend he drove to the grocery, and was drunk. I didn't know it since I was gone for just a few minutes came back home, and the car was gone. I called and called, and finally got him, he was very drunk, had no clue where he was, I was crying and yelling to stop the car, and I would ome and pick him up. I think I made a mistake I should have called the police and had him sent to jail, kicker is, he said he wasn't drunk. I am not making any excuse for that behavior. None.
He came home, thank God. I took his keys and left for 2 days. Our grown sons are aware and they both called him to discuss this issue, he denied, but then opened up to them telling them way way more than he ever tells me. He admitted he hides alcohol from me.
I am seriously thinking of leaving, I am 8 years younger, I am very active and he brings me down. I can't help a person who will not help himself. He needs serious mental, physical help. He is also very very stubborn and I am sure he will refuse any sort of help (AA, therapist etc) I recently started Alanon and know that the program is to help me. I have hidden this from friends and family through the years, although I am sure many have figured it out.
I am thinking even to just leave, get my plans together since this is no life. Oh he is also a hoarder, in certain rooms, office area, garage that can't be used, other rooms that are full of his stuff. He knows that this is something that I cannot deal with, I have put up with that for years too, this who situation is just not healthy.
Thanks for listening. take care.
I am not sure that I posted before about this situation. I have been married for nearly 43 years and my husband is an alcoholic. He is what I would call at one time a functional one. He worked for 52 years and was very successful and respected in his field. He retired 2 years ago and has ramped up his drinking, his Ambien use and his depression. He also has some health issues that he will not address, he does not want me to be involved with his Dr. He does have an appointment next month and is refusing to go if I go along. He is overweight, and has very bad sinus issues, prostate issues, his ankles are swollen and feet are numb, his Mother passed away 3 years ago with Parkinsons and maybe he could be in the beginning stages of it, Plus his drinking and lying about his usage He hides it and denies that he over did it. Lately, he is getting worse, he gets drunk so bad that he is useless most of the next day. He adds 1/2 Ambien too and thinks it is perfectly fine.
Last weekend he drove to the grocery, and was drunk. I didn't know it since I was gone for just a few minutes came back home, and the car was gone. I called and called, and finally got him, he was very drunk, had no clue where he was, I was crying and yelling to stop the car, and I would ome and pick him up. I think I made a mistake I should have called the police and had him sent to jail, kicker is, he said he wasn't drunk. I am not making any excuse for that behavior. None.
He came home, thank God. I took his keys and left for 2 days. Our grown sons are aware and they both called him to discuss this issue, he denied, but then opened up to them telling them way way more than he ever tells me. He admitted he hides alcohol from me.
I am seriously thinking of leaving, I am 8 years younger, I am very active and he brings me down. I can't help a person who will not help himself. He needs serious mental, physical help. He is also very very stubborn and I am sure he will refuse any sort of help (AA, therapist etc) I recently started Alanon and know that the program is to help me. I have hidden this from friends and family through the years, although I am sure many have figured it out.
I am thinking even to just leave, get my plans together since this is no life. Oh he is also a hoarder, in certain rooms, office area, garage that can't be used, other rooms that are full of his stuff. He knows that this is something that I cannot deal with, I have put up with that for years too, this who situation is just not healthy.
Thanks for listening. take care.