Husband is addicted

5290 Views 69 Replies 28 Participants Last post by Justsurviving85, Jan 21, 2022

Married&confused15

Discussion Starter · Jan 14, 2022

We have been together for 7 years and married for 6 years in the beginning when he would be the big bad biker guy it was sexy in the bedroom. But now that we have two daughters and he wants me to dress in see through and micro mini skirts in front of them I just can’t do that. I take pictures for him and him only (naked) and pics of us together then two years ago I find him on a swingers site trying to set us up and sharing my pictures with strange men. He said he was sorry and that he would quit. Of course I find it again a year later. This time he is pretending to be me and getting videos of men jacking off to my photos. When I confront him he just says that he likes the way men respond to my photos it makes him feel more like a man. I told him it makes me feel violated. He swore to me he would never do it again. Granted on there he hasn’t that I know of but now I find out he is sharing photos of me and videos and getting some in return from his friends and their wife for the past two years along with offer me up to have sex with his friend!!!!! When I confronted him he just said it’s because his friend and his friends wife are going through some things and his friend hasn’t been laid in over a year I told him I don’t care!!!!!! Of course this just happened. On another page if I don’t have sex with him daily or allow him to rub on me in my intimate parts even in front of the kids continuously then I get the guilt trips or he gets angry or the continuously jacking off 4-5 times a day. What do I do???

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Anastasia6

· #2 · Jan 14, 2022

Sorry but this really isn't going to get better. Get you stuff in order and divorce. See a lawyer so you'll know what the options are for you. Don't tell him you are seeing a lawyer. Do you have a job?

He's looking to share. He wants to be a cuckhold or he's gay. His behavior means as some point he will also start to pressure you. None of this is good. I don't see any chance of him changing. Stop wasting your life with a guy who wants to be your pimp.

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Anastasia6

· #3 · Jan 14, 2022

Just for reference..... Does you husband watch porn (a lot)?

Reactions: 1

Married&confused15

Discussion Starter · #4 · Jan 14, 2022

He looks up a lot of porn then when I catch him with it he lies but tells me he doesn’t lie

Diana7

· #5 · Jan 14, 2022

Do you really have to ask? He is a terrible influence on the children and surely posting your pictures on line against your will is illegal?
Sadly you over looked the red flags and married a man with low moral values.
I wouldn't want a man like that influencing my children.

Reactions: 3

Blondilocks

· #6 · Jan 14, 2022

Oh, good Lord! Stop providing pics and videos. Threaten to turn him into the cops because what he has done is illegal.

He acts like a dog humping legs. Ewww. He needs to get his addiction under control. And, grow the hell up.

Reactions: 5

Diana7

· #7 · Jan 14, 2022

Married&confused15 said:
He looks up a lot of porn then when I catch him with it he lies but tells me he doesn’t lie

Of course he lies. As well as all the other awful things he does.

Helping Hand

· #8 · Jan 14, 2022

Married&confused15 said:
We have been together for 7 years and married for 6 years in the beginning when he would be the big bad biker guy it was sexy in the bedroom. But now that we have two daughters and he wants me to dress in see through and micro mini skirts in front of them I just can’t do that. I take pictures for him and him only (naked) and pics of us together then two years ago I find him on a swingers site trying to set us up and sharing my pictures with strange men. He said he was sorry and that he would quit. Of course I find it again a year later. This time he is pretending to be me and getting videos of men jacking off to my photos. When I confront him he just says that he likes the way men respond to my photos it makes him feel more like a man. I told him it makes me feel violated. He swore to me he would never do it again. Granted on there he hasn’t that I know of but now I find out he is sharing photos of me and videos and getting some in return from his friends and their wife for the past two years along with offer me up to have sex with his friend!!!!! When I confronted him he just said it’s because his friend and his friends wife are going through some things and his friend hasn’t been laid in over a year I told him I don’t care!!!!!! Of course this just happened. On another page if I don’t have sex with him daily or allow him to rub on me in my intimate parts even in front of the kids continuously then I get the guilt trips or he gets angry or the continuously jacking off 4-5 times a day. What do I do???

Are you sure he loves you ? I doubt, because if he do then he wouldnt have ever thought of sharing your pics and videos with anyone, trust me its a fact.

Final verdict : Pack your bags and dump him at once

Reactions: 1

Married&confused15

Discussion Starter · #9 · Jan 14, 2022

Anastasia6 said:
Sorry but this really isn't going to get better. Get you stuff in order and divorce. See a lawyer so you'll know what the options are for you. Don't tell him you are seeing a lawyer. Do you have a job?

He's looking to share. He wants to be a cuckhold or he's gay. His behavior means as some point he will also start to pressure you. None of this is good. I don't see any chance of him changing. Stop wasting your life with a guy who wants to be your pimp.

I do work and I am also in school. He does pressure me to have sex with him to the point where I don’t enjoy it at all anymore. The two children we have are his kids not biologically mine. When we were dating and in the bedroom fantasying and role playing was fun but now I see that he is trying to make it a reality I am not cool with that.

ccpowerslave

· #10 · Jan 14, 2022

Is he an outlaw MC guy, like an actual big bad biker? If so that might present some actual unfortunate problems. If not and they’re not your kids and you’re not happy you can just leave?

Gabriel

· #11 · Jan 14, 2022

Run away from this fool.

Reactions: 3

Married&confused15

Discussion Starter · #12 · Jan 14, 2022

ccpowerslave said:
Is he an outlaw MC guy, like an actual big bad biker? If so that might present some actual unfortunate problems. If not and they’re not your kids and you’re not happy you can just leave?

How would that present problems?

Blondilocks

· #13 · Jan 14, 2022

ccpowerslave said:
Is he an outlaw MC guy, like an actual big bad biker? If so that might present some actual unfortunate problems. If not and they’re not your kids and you’re not happy you can just leave?

Married&confused15 said:
This time he is pretending to be me and getting videos of men jacking off to my photos. When I confront him he just says that he likes the way men respond to my photos it makes him feel more like a man

LOL Does this sound like an actual big bad biker?

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Married&confused15

Discussion Starter · #14 · Jan 14, 2022

Why would I leave my home that I have built. Why can’t I make him leave with his children?

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Married&confused15

Discussion Starter · #15 · Jan 14, 2022

Blondilocks said:
LOL Does this sound like an actual big bad biker?

To answer you he was but has been out for years now. Right before we started dating we were friends when he was in.

Reactions: 2

badsanta

· #16 · Jan 14, 2022

Married&confused15 said:
What do I do???

What you describe your husband doing is likely related to his suppressed bisexuality/homosexuality being explored via proxy. As in he was raised to believe only traditional heterosexual relationships were acceptable. Being a "big bad biker" sounds like a social support system that would likely humiliate and ridicule those with an alternate sexual orientation.

What do I mean by proxy? This means that he is using you as a way to attract and interact with other men sexually. Because you are female it is easy to for him to label all these interactions as heterosexual and allowable.

I could be wrong but from what I have read in psychology books about non-monogamy, this seems like the dynamic you are describing.

Reactions: 1

Blondilocks

· #17 · Jan 14, 2022

Married&confused15 said:
To answer you he was but has been out for years now. Right before we started dating we were friends when he was in.

He ain't no kind of man.

Reactions: 1

badsanta

· #18 · Jan 14, 2022

As for what can you do???

You can accept your husband for who he is, but it sounds as if he can't accept himself. So there is not much you can do.

Married&confused15

Discussion Starter · #19 · Jan 14, 2022

So what do I do?

Blondilocks

· #20 · Jan 14, 2022

It is spelled D I V O R C E.

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