[georgiapeach08]

This might be long but I would love some advice. My H and I have been together almost 4 years...married for 2. We have 2 awesome kids together. We met when I was 18 and he 32 but you can't even tell there is an age difference. In the beginning everything was great. We knew we loved each other and wanted to be together. But in the last year things have taken a wrong turn.

He is military so has seen a lot and been deployed 6 times. When he got back from his last deployment in May of 2011 he seemed fine but it wasn't long before things started to change. And when I had our son that July I really noticed it. He got mad a lot faster, drank a lot more, short term memory is horrible, and our sex life pretty much turned non existant.

He just got the confirmation about a 2 months ago that it is PTSD. And our lives have gone through so much stress in the 1 year that it has made things worse. He still wants to go out and drink a lot which makes things hard but I can handle that. What is getting extremely hard to deal with is the lack of passion and still not having very much of a sex life...which is maybe once every 2-3 weeks.

I am trying to hold things together so he doesn't feel bad but it is becoming hard. I try talking to him about sex and he says that I am being selfish and only thinking of myself and not what he is going through. I know he is going through a hard time but I also have needs that haven't really been met for the last year. I stay with him because I know he is a great person and a great father....but I don't know how much more I can take.

I'm 22 and feel like my world is passing by. I wonder sometimes what it would be like to be with someone else....but I would never cheat on my husband. I just feel like the connection isn't there anymore and that we are more like room mates than husband and wife.

I would love to hear from people that are going through something similar and what I can do to feel the way I use to about him.

 

[bkkchris64]

Go to see a counselor now. Ensure he is ssen by the right people regarding PTSD, this is very important.
Thanks for your service and support as a military spouse. You are not alone. Seek support.

 

[georgiapeach08]

We had an appointment to see the marriage counseler yesterday but had to reschedule since the babysitter couldn't make it. He goes to counseling by his self also. I'm just hoping things get better soon before it is too late and the connection is gone forever.

 

[ruga2402]

In the military myself, and have been on five deployments as a Infantryman. Sometimes it takes another deployment to erase the last. Sometimes it can just be to much. The drinking is what needs to bother you though. It is the PTSD devil. It makes him rethink every bad memory he has had, when he is thinking that drinking will help him forget. Have you tried to contact ARMY One Source. They can be a great help to him and you as well. Give it a shot, he needs to open up. I have seen/done some bad things over ther and would never want to share it with anyone else, but he has too. Probably not ever to you (don't feel bad) but talk to one of his guys that was with him. He just needs to vent and only someone who has been there can help. Remember most likely he will be embarrased because he can't handle it one his own, but it will help tremendously.