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Hello. I have been married for twenty-eight years to an extremely loving, thoughtful man who loves me with all of his heart. I too love him with all of my heart. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's a few years ago, and was forced to retire at 47. He is now 50. For his better health, we have rented our of house, sold all of our belongings and moved to another Country where he enjoys the lifestyle more than living in California. We have three kids, ages 21, 22 and 25 who are still in the California. He has always been the breadwinner in the family, working tremendous hours to provide a beautiful life for me and the kids. I want for nothing, he encourages me to buy myself nice things, and constantly buys nice things for me as well. Sounds like a perfect life, but here is the glitch...he won't/can't stop spending money. He means well, but he keeps spending. When he thought that he only had a short time left because of his disease, he illegally accessed his retirement account and drained it dry within one year. He bought me expensive gifts during this time frame, and he qualifies it by that. I thought he was using the money that he was taking so freely out of our joint account to buy the gifts. He has a fabulous retirement income, netting us over $4,000 to spend as we see fit every month. We are so lucky!! Unfortunately, he withdrawals $200 to $400 every day...quickly draining us dry. Our oldest son is getting married in May of 2013. He promised him $10,000. He announced his engagement one year ago, and not one dime has been saved because he keeps withdrawing it all from the bank. I consistently sit down and create a budget with him, which he ignores. He will go for periods of time without access to any funds, but he will bully me into giving him my bank card again. He has gone through most of the monthly budget already, it's the 3rd of December and I have Christmas presents yet to buy. When asked where this recent large chunk of money went, he says he planned a dream vacation for us....I turn in to the bad guy when I mention my financial goals. He said today that he thought his Parkinson's was worse and that he didn't think he had much more time to live. I tried to get him to talk more about it, but he is giving me the silent treatment. Hasn't talked to me all day because I am a nagging brat about money. All I care about if money....says he. In my opinion, I am a financially responsible individual who can live like a Queen with so much slush per month while only paying $330 a month for rent to live in South America. When I talk/complain about his excessive spending habits, he mopes and pouts. He also buys watches (10 this past month) on eBay. Not expensive ones, but why so many watches?? It makes me unhappy to be the constant bad guy, the crusher of his dreams and wants. He became despondent two weeks ago because I was unhappy. Said that he spent his whole life trying to make me happy, if he couldn't do it then it was time to call it quits and attempted suicide. Extremely difficult night but gratefully, he was not successful. Lots of talking afterwards, I thought things would change. He agreed, but instantly took to using the bank card again and said he "changed his mind" he "wanted some "nice things" and he won't stop spending....when I couldn't wake him up easily from a nap today he accused me of being disappointed that he wasn't dead....love him to pieces, not sure what to do. I have absolutely NO ONE to talk to about this. How do you talk about this? He is currently out for a walk in the pouring rain/freezing cold rather than be in the house with me.....I am so sad and afraid.
 
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