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I've known for some time that my husband has a problem with alcohol. He has stopped drinking all the time and limits his drinking to only once a week...however recently when he drinks he stays up all night long listening to music loud (he doesn't think it's loud) and he has been drinking about a case of beer.

I've told him that this bothers me, the amount of beer he drinks concerns me in several different ways. The staying up with him and being worried that he is going to hurt himself or break something is getting on my nerves. The laying next to him afraid he is going to choke on his own vomit or just stop breathing because he has drank so much is getting tireing.

To top all of this off I have parents that are both alcoholics so his drinking like this really messes with me emotionally.

I told him that I can not as a person deal with the way that he drinks and instead of him understanding what i'm saying he says that my smoking is not socially acceptable and he doesn't like the smell of it. That his drinking is socially acceptable and there is nothing wrong with it, he just thinks that he shouldn't drink as much as he does.

He told me that if I stop smoking he would quit drinking. He said this to me almost as a challenge, as if I can not do it, and then he will have something to throw back at me when I tell him that his drinking bothers me.

I have wanted to stop smoking for some time, and I am ready to stop smoking for myself...as well as the kids and him, but I only hope that he doesn't come up with some excuse as to why he still is drinking once he sees that I can actually do it.

I want to ask any advice from people out there that have dealt with someone like this before. If something like this has ever actually worked, and what to do if I find out that he is going to continue to drink even though he knows to affects me severely and I am willing to end our marriage if it continues because it does this to me.
 

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Do you smoke in the house? Just curious.

Go to Al-Anon to get the help you need. It's a long process to learn to not be a co-dependent with an alcoholic. YOu will need that help.
 

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I also think you should try al anon. My husbands drinking affected our life enough for me to ask him to move out 9 months ago. A friend took me to an al anon meeting and it has helped me a lot. My husband has stopped drinking. He was drinking 12 beers a day and behavior changed. We are working on our marriage with counseling and I am working on me. I wish that I would have gotten help 10 years ago. Its hard to go to the first meeting but everyone is great there and show you how to focus on yourself. No one can make someone else quit drinking
 

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My husband also drinks, and I think it is a problem. So I don't have any advice for you but I do have advice about smoking.
I was a smoker for 15-16 years. I quit using Chantix. My doctor prescribed it, it isn't for everyone but it might be worth talking to your doctor about it. I have been smoke free since July 8th. It hasn't been easy but very worth it.
 

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Hi I'm new on the site, my story is very much the same as this one. My husband has been a drinker for all our marriage 13 yrs, he is not nice when he has been drinking. He has not hit me but will lose his temper and shout in my face which is enough for me to want to hide in the corner. I have talked to him when he is sober and at the time he is sorry and wants it to change but then the weekend comes round again and so does the drinking. I have learnt to keep away and not to say anything that will upset him. We have 2 children and I really don't want my daughter to think this is good and to settle for this herself, I would not want my son to feel this is ok to treat a woman in this way. I am worried that I have emotionally detached from my husband due to all the drinking and hurt it has caused me, I do feel that I still love him but in that I'm also so tired of the same old. Don't get me wrong he is a lovely dad and loves both his children with all his heart and would never hurt them. It's just me he get mad with, all I want is for him to make me feel loved and wanted! The sex in the marriage is not a often as he would like and he says that's why he drinks but I don't understand I feel hurt every weekend from the drinking why would I want to its just a nasty circle between us. Any advice would be great and sorry if this is all rambled :0)
 
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