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Hi, As much as I don't like to laud my husband's achievements in the relationship department, I think he really should win an oscar sometimes. He treats me like dirt. He is highly controling, or tries to be, and sticks me with all of the house and child care.
Emotionally:The run down is that he basically has yelled at me and tried to control me ever since the day after we went on our honeymoon (probably before, but without the straight out yelling). When I ask him where the man is that I knew before we got married, he tells me that that man is dead. He told me that I married a psycho.
Finances:He tried to control me financially too by making me itemize everythign I spend and getting pissed and making me feel guilty if I spent anything. He did that for a year, then I found out he was hiding a 12,000 dollar debt from me that he had been using this credit card that he swore numerous times he was NOT using. So, I finally made a budget- he refused to, because that would mean that he couldn't yell at me anymore.And I am working now, too.
Childcare: I've had about 30 hours away from the baby since he was born 16 months ago. That's fine. He is suicidially depressed, or so he told me after I found him texting nasty things to his mom about me. Now, every time he wants to get out of something, he is contemplating suicide.So, I try to never leave him alone with our son. He is on medication now and seeing a psych. But, he is never too depressed to go to his friend's or family's or college, etc. In fact, he is at a party while I sit home with our sick child right now. He is almost 29 by the way and I am 33.
So, anyways, I am very seriously contemplating divorce. He has been very lax about getting help for this depression. And while I have tried to empathize, it is hard when someone is yelling at you every day. He has had to leave a few times, because I know this is not a good environment for our son. He has also made me afriad of him by saying that he wants to get violent, etc. but he doesn't :confused:and hits objects and that he is afriad that he will snap and his "anger will come out on our son amd me in a very damaging way" his words. So, what I guess I want to know is, can he or will he actually get help and change? Thanks
 

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It's very likely he has borderline personality disorder. They charm and are on their best behavior until the wedding and then literally on the honeymoon you see their true self.
Do some research online about this disorder. If he has it, chances are not good for him to change. And I am worried about your safety as well as your child's safety.
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He told you that you married a psycho?? He threatens that his anger will eventually "come out on your son" - and you?? And you're CONTEMPLATING divorce why exactly?? Girl, for you and your son's sake run as fast as you can before I have to see your story on Dateline, please!
 
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