Hi there,
I have been married to my husband for just over two years. We have been together for four years. I have known about my husband's shoe fetish since early in our relationship. At first I was a little taken aback by it. I had never been with a person who had such a need for an object in order to be aroused. I did my best to indulge his fetish and would allow him to use my shoes if I wasn't around and wear shoes for him while we were having sex. However, I never really got the feeling that that was it. I soon found out he was also buying used trashed shoes online through ebay and he had a few female friends that would give him their shoes when they were beyond wear.
I confronted him about this. My issue is that I feel like he was going out of our marriage to obtain sexual gratification. He feels like it is not a big deal and doesn't not think that is cheating. I know he isn't sleeping with other women, but I feel like if he is getting sexual gratification from something outside of our marriage, after I was open to indulging him I feel betrayed. It seems more and more that he needs to have his fetish indulged in order for sex to work.
I'm not sure where to go from here. He now hides that he gets shoes from other sources, but we share a bank account so I can see when he orders something via ebay and I also find the shoes in his closet. I know he has conversations online with the women he buys these shoes from, they want to know "how he liked them" and he responds with praise.
I feel like I am second to his fetish. If we don't involve his fetish during sex he seems disconnected and uncomfortable. I want a man who can make love to me and is passonate about being with me, he is more comfortable making love to a pair of shoes than he is to making love to me. I have recently begun contemplating ending the marriage over this. I try talking to him about it, but he gets defensive or just says "well fine, I won't do it" and then I know he is just going behind my back to do it anyway.
Anyone else have a partner with a fetish that feels this way?
I have been married to my husband for just over two years. We have been together for four years. I have known about my husband's shoe fetish since early in our relationship. At first I was a little taken aback by it. I had never been with a person who had such a need for an object in order to be aroused. I did my best to indulge his fetish and would allow him to use my shoes if I wasn't around and wear shoes for him while we were having sex. However, I never really got the feeling that that was it. I soon found out he was also buying used trashed shoes online through ebay and he had a few female friends that would give him their shoes when they were beyond wear.
I confronted him about this. My issue is that I feel like he was going out of our marriage to obtain sexual gratification. He feels like it is not a big deal and doesn't not think that is cheating. I know he isn't sleeping with other women, but I feel like if he is getting sexual gratification from something outside of our marriage, after I was open to indulging him I feel betrayed. It seems more and more that he needs to have his fetish indulged in order for sex to work.
I'm not sure where to go from here. He now hides that he gets shoes from other sources, but we share a bank account so I can see when he orders something via ebay and I also find the shoes in his closet. I know he has conversations online with the women he buys these shoes from, they want to know "how he liked them" and he responds with praise.
I feel like I am second to his fetish. If we don't involve his fetish during sex he seems disconnected and uncomfortable. I want a man who can make love to me and is passonate about being with me, he is more comfortable making love to a pair of shoes than he is to making love to me. I have recently begun contemplating ending the marriage over this. I try talking to him about it, but he gets defensive or just says "well fine, I won't do it" and then I know he is just going behind my back to do it anyway.
Anyone else have a partner with a fetish that feels this way?