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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just discovered my husband has been cheating on me with a friend that is a man for 5 years. I need someone to discuss this with. We have grown apart but I trusted him and never thought he would do this. I never knew that he had an interest in men. I am not sure what I want, so much at stake(home, child) and to top it off he is still talking to this other man which I feel is turning the knife even further. Has anyone ever been in this situation.. Please give me some advice.
 

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Firstly you need to get yourself screened for STD's.
Secondly , you need to figure out if you want to stay married to a bisexual / homosexual man or whether you prefer a relationship with a heterosexual man.
Thirdly, you need to figure out if you want to live in an
" open marriage " with your husband having affairs on the outside, with other men.
Then after you figure out your stuff, get yourself together and look for a good divorce lawyer.
He has already crossed the threshold and he's most likely ain't coming back.
Five years is quite a long time in a same sex relationship.
He has already made up his mind.
 

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The first thing to get from a post perspective is some detail. How old are you both, is child young or old, that may make a difference to the advice given. How are you SURE that there is a relationship which threatens your marridge.
What do you want from this?

Have you told your H that you are aware of his relationship? You say youve grown apart. Is that recent, are these repairable issues for you both. Are you communicating?

Its diffiecult to actually advse here Joyce as we are not clear to how deep the relationship has moved . Is it amatter of these guys are really close and your H is confiding heavily to the other person, I say this from the "we've grown apart" comment you made. Is there a case here that youve seen a closeness that you define as an affair or have you clear stand alone evidence that something more has transpired. If there has been an emotional connection can is there a way the two of you can work passed it by talking and your H thereafter having no contact with the other male? If there ahs been an intermate event and you and your H have had sex should you perhaps seek a test for your own health - There could be issue ther athat sadly transfer beween guys if something has happend. The bottom line is being sure something has transpired, either as an EA or PA, is there a point that you see where you both can work together to rebuild with, if requires a councillors input or do you see from the evidence that the marridge is broke
 
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