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43 Posts
I can probably answer the suspicions I'm about to imply...But I just need to hear it from someone else.
Back history..My husband and I have been married for 32 years and our marriage has been a good one. Three grown children, In our 50's, yet look like we are in our 30's.
The issue. Husbands female friend. She's our same age bracket, divorced for many years, grown children, lives alone with her 4 dogs. My husband met her 5 years ago on a construction project.
He is a Contractor and part of the team that helped construct her remodel on a investment property. I had met her at that time and didn't think anything of the friendship because it seemed to be only business related. Field trips to the lumber yard and so forth so on...you get the drift. Well to this day they are still friends and now that I view the state of things..I'm not liking it.
About 8 months ago we lost our home in a fire and she was right there helping. she offered her home for a place to park our RV to stay in, while waiting for our home to be rebuilt. Sounded great at the time. Soon found out she was a control freak and included herself in our lives. My husband told me not to think anything of her behavior, she was just lonely and needed companionship. so I overlooked all that thinking maybe he was right. But what happened next i can not over look. since we left her home 7 months ago she calls at least 10 times a day wanting to know his where abouts and a play by play update of his day., texts about just as many times. New coworkers of my husbands think he's married to her. Old friends think that he's in a full blown affair with her. I don't think he's in a physical relationship with her YET, but I do believe it's an emotional one.
I have confronted him with my concerns telling him I think it's disrespectful for her to call and text excessively through out the day. What could she possibly have to say or want? He assures me nothing is going on. I try and trust his answer, but gut feeling tells me otherwise. I can't seem to trust him when he leaves the room to talk to her on the phone or talks in front of me in coded messages. Just not right. So I stoop to snooping. After 32 years I find myself snooping. It shouldn't be that way. I find he has left his tools in her garage because we are still not in our home yet, so he spends most mornings at her home having coffee before work. she buys him clothes that he hides and pulls out at later dates. He takes showers at her home because we don't have facilities in the rv. He tells her things he doesn't tell me. he discusses our family with her. In the text messages he sympathizes with all she has gone through in her life. They hug, they kiss on the cheek, they act like they may be married. Her text the last few days are. Have phone by my side, do call oxoxoxox. The last voice mail she left, was a demand for him to be at her home Thanksgiving day to take her to the airport and take care of her dogs while gone. He hasn't told me this yet, but he will and he will do as she says. He tells me I'm taking their relationship out of contexts.
I think not!
Back history..My husband and I have been married for 32 years and our marriage has been a good one. Three grown children, In our 50's, yet look like we are in our 30's.
The issue. Husbands female friend. She's our same age bracket, divorced for many years, grown children, lives alone with her 4 dogs. My husband met her 5 years ago on a construction project.
He is a Contractor and part of the team that helped construct her remodel on a investment property. I had met her at that time and didn't think anything of the friendship because it seemed to be only business related. Field trips to the lumber yard and so forth so on...you get the drift. Well to this day they are still friends and now that I view the state of things..I'm not liking it.
About 8 months ago we lost our home in a fire and she was right there helping. she offered her home for a place to park our RV to stay in, while waiting for our home to be rebuilt. Sounded great at the time. Soon found out she was a control freak and included herself in our lives. My husband told me not to think anything of her behavior, she was just lonely and needed companionship. so I overlooked all that thinking maybe he was right. But what happened next i can not over look. since we left her home 7 months ago she calls at least 10 times a day wanting to know his where abouts and a play by play update of his day., texts about just as many times. New coworkers of my husbands think he's married to her. Old friends think that he's in a full blown affair with her. I don't think he's in a physical relationship with her YET, but I do believe it's an emotional one.
I have confronted him with my concerns telling him I think it's disrespectful for her to call and text excessively through out the day. What could she possibly have to say or want? He assures me nothing is going on. I try and trust his answer, but gut feeling tells me otherwise. I can't seem to trust him when he leaves the room to talk to her on the phone or talks in front of me in coded messages. Just not right. So I stoop to snooping. After 32 years I find myself snooping. It shouldn't be that way. I find he has left his tools in her garage because we are still not in our home yet, so he spends most mornings at her home having coffee before work. she buys him clothes that he hides and pulls out at later dates. He takes showers at her home because we don't have facilities in the rv. He tells her things he doesn't tell me. he discusses our family with her. In the text messages he sympathizes with all she has gone through in her life. They hug, they kiss on the cheek, they act like they may be married. Her text the last few days are. Have phone by my side, do call oxoxoxox. The last voice mail she left, was a demand for him to be at her home Thanksgiving day to take her to the airport and take care of her dogs while gone. He hasn't told me this yet, but he will and he will do as she says. He tells me I'm taking their relationship out of contexts.
I think not!
