Gamer here.
Not Wow, but the more, um, 'more cerebral' EVE online. Likely just as time-consuming as wow, as it is a SLOW game and takes hours for a group to form a fleet and shoot internet spaceships.
Can't say I ever used to play til three in the morning, but yes, there were times I did play several hours at a time, and wouldn't tolerate interruptions. My wife hated it with as much passion as I liked it. Sound familiar?
Of course, I did the majority, if not all, regular housework. I also work full time (she does too), I pay all the bills, and pay the mortgage. We have no kids.
My wife primarily reads or watches tv, plunks herself down on the couch, and eats. And leaves the dishes piled up around the couch. I neither enjoy reading or watching tv, so I was happy to do my 'own thing' while she was doing this.
This went on for a very long time. She complained, and eventually gave ultimatums for me quitting Eve. So I did. For a year (we were in counseling the entire time btw). I went from being a hardcore gamer to joining a local woodsball (paintball) team. I went from sitting at my desk all weekend to putting on 50lbs of tactical gear and running around the woods for approx ONE FULL WEEKEND DAY EVERY WEEK (vs her claim I spent 60+ hours a week gaming previously). I put on quite a bit of lean muscle, got a lot of sun, and made 'real' friends!
Interestingly, I also got new ultimatums. I was doing paintball too much with my new friends. She wanted me to curb it. So I compromised, and I went down to going out twice a month with the team. Not a month passed when suddenly I have a new ultimatum that I was spending too much on paintball now.
Talking about this with the counselor enlightened me to something called co-dependence. I came to realize that no matter what I liked, my spouse will hate.
So, where am I now? We're doing an in-house separation now (I'm sure not leaving since I pay for everything). I've come to terms with how unhappy I am in my marriage. I hope we can remain friends, but I am almost certain D is the only solution now (even the counselors say so)
So, did I get back into gaming? After separating, yes, I actually do play a bit of eve online for a few hours here and there. Not as much as I used to. Still enjoying the paintball and all my new friends also. Found out a lot about myself. Found there's a lot to be happy about. Also know I will be happy after D.
I hope this post was not all that you expected. But perhaps it will put a light on that not all gamers are bad people.
I'd advise not to bother with ultimatums TBH. Just leave. You'll be happier. He probably will too.