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Brother, I keep telling you and you keep thinking this way.

THIS STUFF IS NORMAL for a cheating POS like your wife. Do you really think this is the first time she has cheated.

You caught her, she might as well let you see the real her. THIS IS THE REAL WOMAN THAT YOU MARRIED!!!!

Get it? Yeah you were stupid, yeah you should not have trusted, yeah you should have caught it sooner, blah blah blah....

You think you are the only man that had made a mistake with a woman? Really? Do you think maybe some of us are on here because maybe we were stupid at one time???

You think maybe you want to get your head straight and stop believing the stupid **** in your head about this woman?????

THIS IS WHO SHE IS. IT SUCKS. I KNOW... believe me dude, I know....
A friend of mine had the same issue.

He said it was hard accepting that his x was just a very typical lying cheater. Nothing special about her at all.

Wake up. That’s all you have.
 

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He said it was hard accepting that his x was just a very typical lying cheater. Nothing special about her at all.
I was like that for years. I tried to blame it on anything and everything imaginable. Hormones, "sexual addiction", poor church experience, childhood sexual abuse, I even accepted the blame - I was inexperienced in bed, I had an average penis, I carried some extra pounds, was "beta", yada, yada, yada.....

Took me a long time to "get it"..... she was just a typical, lying cheater. That's all. A sinful, selfish woman who wanted to cake eat.

You are certainly not the only man who made a mistake on a woman.
 

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Discussion Starter #84
update

her cousin had told her she could stay in a condo her husband and her has empty .... at 3pm today, she packed up a few things and left

before she left, our 18 year old son was playing video game and I was sitting next to him. She walked up and said "I'm going to miss you" and he said " good bye" and turned back to the game

I went to the door and as she pulled out, she was sobbing and just absolutely crushed and heartbroken faced. 24 years of marriage, 18 years in this house, her 18 year old son .. .and she drove away and left it all

she did take the papers with her - maybe they'll be signed in the next day or so


I'm sad for the loss of it all, I'm quickly not becoming too sad about a woman who'd do all that for a 21/22 year old kid lover
 

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Your son handled that like a champ. Don’t feel sorry for her. How does it make you feel that she left? I’m sure it’s a big mix of emotions.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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update

her cousin had told her she could stay in a condo her husband and her has empty .... at 3pm today, she packed up a few things and left

before she left, our 18 year old son was playing video game and I was sitting next to him. She walked up and said "I'm going to miss you" and he said " good bye" and turned back to the game

I went to the door and as she pulled out, she was sobbing and just absolutely crushed and heartbroken faced. 24 years of marriage, 18 years in this house, her 18 year old son .. .and she drove away and left it all

she did take the papers with her - maybe they'll be signed in the next day or so


I'm sad for the loss of it all, I'm quickly not becoming too sad about a woman who'd do all that for a 21/22 year old kid lover
Well to be honest no one means much to her so what’s he supposed to think.
 

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Now cut her off completely. No contact only works if you apply it fully.

Don’t keep yourself tied up in this. No one can do that but you.
 

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Discussion Starter #88
how do I feel

ummm like there is a finality coming, after 9 months of daily torture. I do have grief for the loss of what I saw in this marriage and the memories, maybe even what I thought would be our future.

I shed some tears earlier but they were for my son and not for her. This isn't easy for him as man as he's being about it. This is tough.

I'm going to drink tequila and watch the original Young Guns with my son. I have no idea how I will sleep tonight.


New life at 50. Wow.
 

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update

her cousin had told her she could stay in a condo her husband and her has empty .... at 3pm today, she packed up a few things and left

before she left, our 18 year old son was playing video game and I was sitting next to him. She walked up and said "I'm going to miss you" and he said " good bye" and turned back to the game

I went to the door and as she pulled out, she was sobbing and just absolutely crushed and heartbroken faced. 24 years of marriage, 18 years in this house, her 18 year old son .. .and she drove away and left it all

she did take the papers with her - maybe they'll be signed in the next day or so


I'm sad for the loss of it all, I'm quickly not becoming too sad about a woman who'd do all that for a 21/22 year old kid lover
Those tears are for her not you and your son.
 

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Discussion Starter #92
Those tears are for her not you and your son.
absolutely true

6 years ago her father died at our house ... I moved her mom and dad into our home for about 5 months while he battled kidney cancer because it was close to medical facilities. Anyway, she encased herself and was deeply depressed and wouldn't let anyone help her. I tried, but truth is I didn't know how to cope with it either. That was maybe THE turning point in our marriage and as she wrote to a friend in an email I acquired - she put the top layer on her wall against me.

So for 6 years she's removed herself from me inside, on the outside she made things look like they were normal.

She is all about self. She comes first, and it doesn't matter the damage done. I compared it in counseling to Thanos and the Soul Stone. He had to sacrifice the only thing he loved to get what he wanted - Gammora. He threw her off the cliff to get it, choice. My wife threw me and my family and all her connections off the cliff for adultery and she chose.

Now, just get through this End Game and move the hell on.
 

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It's very difficult to accept, especially when there is infidelity. But blaming yourself is useless. You will never know why it happened. I believe we all do things because of our inner flaws, often because we are weak, we don't know how to deal with it, we are emotionally immature. Kids, work. Life, in one word. The path to self-healing is long and difficult, but I agree with your approach to make it as painless as possible. No point in drag it out. You can even be nice to her. It costs you nothing and it will beneficial to your kids.
 

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Discussion Starter #94
she texts me this morning, basically she wants this, this from inside our home and I said if I get this, this and that and we agreed on everything

I'll have the papers edited tomorrow, to her in the afternoon or on Tuesday
 

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Discussion Starter #95
update - last night she told me she'd sign on Wed

I went through a garbage can in her office to try and figure out all our utilities accts etc... and I found a note to a man who I don't know, talking about how he and her could join forces to this other man she hated. WTF ?? I don't know either man.

I texted her " who is xxx ??" and she didn't respond.
I texted later "it doesn't matter can we do this tomorrow?
I texted a bit later"really, don't worry about the notes, I just need this done"

She replied "11:30 at credit union"

and I just met her, she was in between sad and humiliated looking, never mentioned the notes, signed and I walked away


approximately 6 weeks from now all will be finalized

unbelievable to me, I'll never know the full truth or even 10% of what she's done
 

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update

her cousin had told her she could stay in a condo her husband and her has empty .... at 3pm today, she packed up a few things and left

before she left, our 18 year old son was playing video game and I was sitting next to him. She walked up and said "I'm going to miss you" and he said " good bye" and turned back to the game

I went to the door and as she pulled out, she was sobbing and just absolutely crushed and heartbroken faced. 24 years of marriage, 18 years in this house, her 18 year old son .. .and she drove away and left it all

she did take the papers with her - maybe they'll be signed in the next day or so


I'm sad for the loss of it all, I'm quickly not becoming too sad about a woman who'd do all that for a 21/22 year old kid lover
Well, I hope she has fun because most things like this end up like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
 

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update - last night she told me she'd sign on Wed

I went through a garbage can in her office to try and figure out all our utilities accts etc... and I found a note to a man who I don't know, talking about how he and her could join forces to this other man she hated. WTF ?? I don't know either man.

I texted her " who is xxx ??" and she didn't respond.
I texted later "it doesn't matter can we do this tomorrow?
I texted a bit later"really, don't worry about the notes, I just need this done"

She replied "11:30 at credit union"

and I just met her, she was in between sad and humiliated looking, never mentioned the notes, signed and I walked away


approximately 6 weeks from now all will be finalized

unbelievable to me, I'll never know the full truth or even 10% of what she's done
Don’t text her about this stuff. Liars never tell you the entire truth until they are caught.
 

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I say good for you...

Since you are divorcing, it may be better that you don't know everything. It may be easier for you to get over her.

I really hope it is.

My other hope is that you learn from this experience. You learn to be cautious. You learn something about women. Try to pickup what to look for and stay away from.

Try to figure out what a real relationship looks like. I don't know but I be that some of us might could have spotted her before all of this.

When you let yourself love too quickly, too completely, the love goggles mess up your perception.

So just take this as a learning experience, go to therapy as well. Try to learn about all of this and sometime in the future, you may find a woman that really loves you.

Good luck...
 

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update - last night she told me she'd sign on Wed

I went through a garbage can in her office to try and figure out all our utilities accts etc... and I found a note to a man who I don't know, talking about how he and her could join forces to this other man she hated. WTF ?? I don't know either man.

I texted her " who is xxx ??" and she didn't respond.
I texted later "it doesn't matter can we do this tomorrow?
I texted a bit later"really, don't worry about the notes, I just need this done"

She replied "11:30 at credit union"

and I just met her, she was in between sad and humiliated looking, never mentioned the notes, signed and I walked away


approximately 6 weeks from now all will be finalized

unbelievable to me, I'll never know the full truth or even 10% of what she's done
By the time my buddy divorced his wife for cheating on him with his best friend, she had moved onto a number of different guys, basically whoever would sleep with her. She ended up sleeping with loads of married guys, brothers or friends of most of her girlfriends, whoever.

He had to make peace with it, but did, by moving on. I know it's hard. But it is what it is. She probably went straight from feeling on top of the world and liberated... to realizing that nothing ever comes for free in this world. And now she doesn't have you to pick up the pieces for her.
 

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update - last night she told me she'd sign on Wed

I went through a garbage can in her office to try and figure out all our utilities accts etc... and I found a note to a man who I don't know, talking about how he and her could join forces to this other man she hated. WTF ?? I don't know either man.

I texted her " who is xxx ??" and she didn't respond.
I texted later "it doesn't matter can we do this tomorrow?
I texted a bit later"really, don't worry about the notes, I just need this done"

She replied "11:30 at credit union"

and I just met her, she was in between sad and humiliated looking, never mentioned the notes, signed and I walked away


approximately 6 weeks from now all will be finalized

unbelievable to me, I'll never know the full truth or even 10% of what she's done
Sorry brother, cheaters lie lie and lie...
 
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