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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been following the comments and want to thank everyone for trying to help me. I think my marriage will be ok after some time and changes even though this has really messed him up and our relationship. He still loves me and doesn’t hate me thank god. No mention of divorce or separation. It has been a really horrible feeling not being able to recall something so intimate and not give him any answers. It has gotten around some and I have been getting texts asking me what happened. That also sucks. Thinking about moving. He wants me to go to therapy and I will be starting that soon. I have brought up marriage counseling a few times to help us through this and he seems receptive. It can’t hurt and we are going away for a few days soon. My husband has overall handled this great considering the circumstances. We have gotten into a few arguments and we have talked about it more times then I can count. I have just been trying to let him feel his feelings. A lot of hurtful things have been said (of course) but most of the time he is nice to me which always makes me feel worse. We have been spending a lot of time together and it has been good for us I think. He is a great person and I have been lucky to be with him. Overall this has been a nightmare though. I think he knows I didn’t set out to cheat on him.

My husband messaged the other guy on Facebook. I saw the messages, husband wasn’t mean or attacking he just wanted to see what he would say and details. They had a few messages and it turned into a fight unsurprisingly. He got defensive, threw some insults and blocked my husband. I deactivated my Facebook after he messaged me. All of this made husband really mad so he tried to get his number for a while and then calmed down. He did get his number but hasn’t done anything with it so far.

I talked to my friend who gave me the pill and brought the guy. Not sure what to believe honestly. She said he is very recently divorced or separated, been all over the place but who knows. He had been hanging out with my friend a lot more since then and said he was going through a rough time. He told her that we ran into each other when everyone was asleep and that is how it happened. Friend told my husband how messed up I was and she didn’t think I knew what I was doing. I will never know. She said she has distanced herself from him. We aren’t going to involve police because we think it is a waste of time and will just create more problems. I have just been trying to focus on my marriage, work, and improving my life. Hopefully we can get past this with time. I’m sure we have a lot more to go through and I’m not sure what else to do to help him or us.
 

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I have been following the comments and want to thank everyone for trying to help me. I think my marriage will be ok after some time and changes even though this has really messed him up and our relationship. He still loves me and doesn’t hate me thank god. No mention of divorce or separation. It has been a really horrible feeling not being able to recall something so intimate and not give him any answers. It has gotten around some and I have been getting texts asking me what happened. That also sucks. Thinking about moving. He wants me to go to therapy and I will be starting that soon. I have brought up marriage counseling a few times to help us through this and he seems receptive. It can’t hurt and we are going away for a few days soon. My husband has overall handled this great considering the circumstances. We have gotten into a few arguments and we have talked about it more times then I can count. I have just been trying to let him feel his feelings. A lot of hurtful things have been said (of course) but most of the time he is nice to me which always makes me feel worse. We have been spending a lot of time together and it has been good for us I think. He is a great person and I have been lucky to be with him. Overall this has been a nightmare though. I think he knows I didn’t set out to cheat on him.

My husband messaged the other guy on Facebook. I saw the messages, husband wasn’t mean or attacking he just wanted to see what he would say and details. They had a few messages and it turned into a fight unsurprisingly. He got defensive, threw some insults and blocked my husband. I deactivated my Facebook after he messaged me. All of this made husband really mad so he tried to get his number for a while and then calmed down. He did get his number but hasn’t done anything with it so far.

I talked to my friend who gave me the pill and brought the guy. Not sure what to believe honestly. She said he is very recently divorced or separated, been all over the place but who knows. He had been hanging out with my friend a lot more since then and said he was going through a rough time. He told her that we ran into each other when everyone was asleep and that is how it happened. Friend told my husband how messed up I was and she didn’t think I knew what I was doing. I will never know. She said she has distanced herself from him. We aren’t going to involve police because we think it is a waste of time and will just create more problems. I have just been trying to focus on my marriage, work, and improving my life. Hopefully we can get past this with time. I’m sure we have a lot more to go through and I’m not sure what else to do to help him or us.
Thanks for updating us. It sounds like things have turned out about as well as they can under the circumstances.
 

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@Kgs-95 You were so out of it your friend checked on you to make sure you were still breathing and next minute you were wandering about hooking up with some man you didn't know very much about?

That doesn't seem in the slightest bit plausible.

Your friend made a massive mistake by giving you a large does of a dangerous opioid narcotic and not making certain you only took the half she later told you you should have taken and made another massive mistake by allowing a man who "She said he is very recently divorced or separated, been all over the place but who knows. He had been hanging out with my friend a lot more since then and said he was going through a rough time" to wander around in your house when you were incapacitated due to her negligence! She should have told him to leave with the other man when he left.

I think now you know that she can't be relied on as a friend and you and your husband need to cut her out of your lives. It's not nice to learn that a friend doesn't really have your best interests at heart.

I wish you and your husband all the best for the future. Please remember that we are here for you and your husband, so do keep popping in to see us. :)
 

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I know I caused it and feel extreme guilt about it.
Yes, you did cause it.

And it's good that you feel guilty.
You nearly destroyed your marriage.

But, in time, as you and your husband heal, you will have to let that go.

You have to heal from the guilt as he needs to heal from the betrayal.

Learn from this, be better, and live well.

I wish you the best.
 

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I know I caused it and feel extreme guilt about it.
You have reason to feel that way.
However, the fact that you realize what you did wrong and the fact that you owned your mistakes will help you overcome it.
Review your thread.
During the course of that thread, you made several promises regarding adjustments you were going to make if you were given a second chance.
Make those changes and adhere to them.
Value your husband and marriage. Never put yourself in a situation that can undermine them again.
You didn't intend to put yourself in the situation that you are in. However naivete,and poor choices put you there.
Learn from this event, and do whatever you need to do to make sure that it never happens again.
Best wishes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
@Kgs-95 You were so out of it your friend checked on you to make sure you were still breathing and next minute you were wandering about hooking up with some man you didn't know very much about?

That doesn't seem in the slightest bit plausible.

Your friend made a massive mistake by giving you a large does of a dangerous opioid narcotic and not making certain you only took the half she later told you you should have taken and made another massive mistake by allowing a man who "She said he is very recently divorced or separated, been all over the place but who knows. He had been hanging out with my friend a lot more since then and said he was going through a rough time" to wander around in your house when you were incapacitated due to her negligence! She should have told him to leave with the other man when he left.

I think now you know that she can't be relied on as a friend and you and your husband need to cut her out of your lives. It's not nice to learn that a friend doesn't really have your best interests at heart.

I wish you and your husband all the best for the future. Please remember that we are here for you and your husband, so do keep popping in to see us. :)
Thank you. I am not hanging out with her anymore.
 
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