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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My wife recently visited her doctor.I won't get into the exact medical situation,but her doctor took her off of the pill.We were about to have sex and she told me I had to use a condom.There was a lot of back and forth,some arguing.I suggested that we just use withdrawal.She was saying that that wasn't a good method for preventing pregnancy.I didn't get married so I could use condoms.Anyway,there was definitely some yelling and screaming that resulted from the conversation.For those of you who don't know my wife recently lost about 200 pounds.We have been trying some new things.Her mother is moving in in two days,which I'm afraid will mess with our sex life.And now this...It seems all these things are happening all around the same time...I'm not sure yet how long she's going to want me to use the condoms.
 

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Aha. Now I understand the fascination with anal.

The only thing withdrawal is guaranteed good for is the 18 year effect it has on you bank account.

If you're not ready for kids, you need to do better than withdrawal. There are lots of alternatives to the pill, some for her, some for you, but you'll need to pick one unless you want a smaller, whinier version of you running around. Would you rather use a condom or raise a baby?

Until then, get used to condoms. They're your best friend. I'd go online and shop at a place like Condomania. They have dozens of brands, some that are "oversized" to allow you more enjoyment than you might think.
 

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My H feels exactly the same as you. Actually we decided that I would use whatever form of birth control I decided was best for my body and he would get the vasectomy when we were done with kids.

However, there was a time where my doctor took me off if the pills due to concerns with my blood pressure, and until that was figured out we used condoms for about a month or two.

I think at this time you should calmly try to find out how long, and discuss other methods, but ultimately, you may have to accept using condoms for a while. I do think it's odd that you didn't find out until right before sex, but maybe she was afraid of your reaction
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I've been using withdrawal for the last 8 years.

No 18 year effect so far.

But its not for everyone.

Isn't it more like a 25 year effect anyhow?
I can't understand why she won't just let me use the withdrawal method.It's an easy method....
 

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I can't understand why she won't just let me use the withdrawal method.It's an easy method....
C'mon, dude. If you can figure out how to post here you can figure out how to use google:

Withdrawal : American Pregnancy Association

Roll the dice. There's a one in five chance you'll be an expectant daddy by this time next year. Besides, given what I've gleaned so far, I'm not sure I'd trust you either.
 

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Condoms were never an issue here. We used them for 10 years. It's a whole lot better then being on the pill which I think are not good for the body.

Withdrawal method is not a way to stop a pregnancy from happening.
 

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I can't understand why she won't just let me use the withdrawal method.It's an easy method....
Because she doesn't want to get pregnant. This method is not really 100% effective. My cousin and her hubby used this method for years and my cousin got pregnant, eventually.
 

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Because she doesn't want to get pregnant. This method is not really 100% effective. My cousin and her hubby used this method for years and my cousin got pregnant, eventually.
Yup. If you're statistically average, you have an 80% chance of NOT getting pregnant the first year. 64% the second. By year three, your odds have dropped to 50/50. By year 8, as a previous poster has managed, you're odds are about 5 out of 6 that you WILL have a pregnancy.
 

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I can't understand why she won't just let me use the withdrawal method.It's an easy method....
I have a couple of nephews who are the result of withdrawal.

Come to think of it, so was my first pregnancy.

Not affective at all as a birth control method.
 

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The risk comes in if you screw up and don't get it out in time. All it takes is one f-up.
Most guys do some leaking all through intercourse.. so the risk is from start to end.
 

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Gosh your reaction was so selfish. It is not like she made a choice to be off birth control. For medical reasons she had to be off birth control. Mind you she was on them for a reason, she is trying to prevent pregnancy and you shouldn't want to risk that because you don't want to wear condoms for awhile.

Do you know what you will be risking if she has a kid during your withdrawal method when she didn't want one?

If that happened you could apologize about it all you want and she wouldn't forgive you. So don't risk it, wear the condoms until she finds an alternative method that makes her comfortable.
 

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you're in a tough spot if you don't like condoms. my H HATES them. when he got his vasectomy, he had to ejaculate something like 20 times in 20 days or something like that. No problem, I thought. I got condoms. He wore it once and that's it. So I thought, I have to give him a BJ every day??? that's when I discovered that he must masturbate, because he said, "forget about it. i'll take care of it."

but since a V doesn't seem an option, since it sounds like you'll want kids, sounds like you have no choice, unless your wife has other options. I got headaches a lot from the pill. much better since I'm off it.

withdrawal is not an option unless you're totally irresponsible or if you don't care if your wife gets pregnant.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
you're in a tough spot if you don't like condoms. my H HATES them. when he got his vasectomy, he had to ejaculate something like 20 times in 20 days or something like that. No problem, I thought. I got condoms. He wore it once and that's it. So I thought, I have to give him a BJ every day??? that's when I discovered that he must masturbate, because he said, "forget about it. i'll take care of it."

but since a V doesn't seem an option, since it sounds like you'll want kids, sounds like you have no choice, unless your wife has other options. I got headaches a lot from the pill. much better since I'm off it.

withdrawal is not an option unless you're totally irresponsible or if you don't care if your wife gets pregnant.
I'm just in a tough spot,as you said.And I don't believe I acted selfishly.No,we don't want a kid right now.But I believe the withdrawal method can be an effective method for preventing pregnancy if done right.What was irritating to me was the fact that she wasn't willing to listen to point of view and my take on withdrawal.
 

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I think you all can benefit from a little research on how ovulation works. There is a relatively short window in a woman's cycle in which she's fertile. Learn to track it and you'll be just fine.
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