Want to get some perspective...
Nearly two years ago now, my hubz had a mild EA with a girl he met at work. It didn't go too far but it was messy as we had a five-month-old baby at the time and I ended up throwing him out.
We did counselling and worked on reconciling and nearly two years later, things are much better. We have worked on boundaries a lot.
Anyway... Last year he started a new job. There are only three of them there, him, his boss and a woman. My feelers went up immediately. I know some things about her, she is a similar age to us, single, lives near to work. They all seem to get on well. I know there are days they will all be in the office together, days he won't be in the office with her at all, and days when it is just him and her.
He will often drop into conversation that they talked about this and that, or she is doing such and such at the weekend, she showed him a picture on her phone, etc.
There was an incident before Christmas where he gave her a lift home. She'd asked for help with lifting some heavy boards upstairs to their office so she could keep them there until she could get them home; he offered to help out and took her home.
I was really mad. He had clearly done it, THEN realised, uh-oh, this is not going to look good if I find out, so told me. We had a massive argument as I said he did not respect my feelings or even remember our agreements about what was and wasn't acceptable behaviour with members of the opposite sex.
He took it on board and has been really good and thoughtful since.
I am noticing more and more that he is bringing up his and her conversations. Now, with the previous girl this was something he did, I clearly remember him talking a lot about her but I used to laugh about it and even tease him as I was really trusting.
I don't know if I am just being hyper-vigilant. After all he does ring up conversations with his boss too, and being as there's only three of them there, they're all going to talk a lot if they're at the office together aren't they?
Does anyone have any advice? AFAIK he doesn't have her number or communicate with her outside of work in any way so I could just be worrying about nothing. Keep a watchful eye?
Nearly two years ago now, my hubz had a mild EA with a girl he met at work. It didn't go too far but it was messy as we had a five-month-old baby at the time and I ended up throwing him out.
We did counselling and worked on reconciling and nearly two years later, things are much better. We have worked on boundaries a lot.
Anyway... Last year he started a new job. There are only three of them there, him, his boss and a woman. My feelers went up immediately. I know some things about her, she is a similar age to us, single, lives near to work. They all seem to get on well. I know there are days they will all be in the office together, days he won't be in the office with her at all, and days when it is just him and her.
He will often drop into conversation that they talked about this and that, or she is doing such and such at the weekend, she showed him a picture on her phone, etc.
There was an incident before Christmas where he gave her a lift home. She'd asked for help with lifting some heavy boards upstairs to their office so she could keep them there until she could get them home; he offered to help out and took her home.
I was really mad. He had clearly done it, THEN realised, uh-oh, this is not going to look good if I find out, so told me. We had a massive argument as I said he did not respect my feelings or even remember our agreements about what was and wasn't acceptable behaviour with members of the opposite sex.
He took it on board and has been really good and thoughtful since.
I am noticing more and more that he is bringing up his and her conversations. Now, with the previous girl this was something he did, I clearly remember him talking a lot about her but I used to laugh about it and even tease him as I was really trusting.
I don't know if I am just being hyper-vigilant. After all he does ring up conversations with his boss too, and being as there's only three of them there, they're all going to talk a lot if they're at the office together aren't they?
Does anyone have any advice? AFAIK he doesn't have her number or communicate with her outside of work in any way so I could just be worrying about nothing. Keep a watchful eye?