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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i love my husband more than anything, but i cant stand the way his mother is. i feel like i married him and his mom his mom is in all of our businesses and he listens to everything she says. I understand having a relationship with your parnets is very important but how do i get her to butt out? there are just certian things i feel are none of her business.
 

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You have to start with him. Let him know that there are certain things that are no one's business except yours and his and explain how you feel and why. However, if his family is very open and talks very easily, it may be hard for him to keep things from her. Also, sometimes it's just good to be able to talk to your mom or dad and bounce ideas off of them. They have lived longer then, so one would hope they would have a more experienced insight to offer.

I never had a problem with my mom or mom-in-law knowing anything and everything about our business. But I loved my mom-in-law like a second mom (she's gone now).
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
im sorry to hear that bout her. I quess part of my problem is my parnets divorced and i lived with my father for most of my growing up and we didnt talk much and she is extremely nosey to me and im didnt know how to handle it
 

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I don't have a lot of advice, except to talk to your husband. How do you and your mother-in-law get along in general?

It may feel nosey, but I guess take a step back and really look at it and where her interest is coming from. Is it coming from a place of caring and genuine concern/interest in you both as a couple? Or does it feel like a "gossip" sort of interest?
 

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I feel you girl. I feel like mine shares with me about what they (my husband and his mother) discuss so that I will know he tells her everything. It's very annoying. I agree that you have to first discuss it with him. He has to see that your concern is genuine. The last thing you want is for him to go to her and say....oh my wife is upset about what we discuss so act like we don't as much anymore. You want a real fix to the problem and it can really only be handled correctly the first time. After that feelings will be hurt and it will be hard to straighten things out. I do not understand why women are like this with their sons. Why can't they let men be men? It's foreign to me. My brother and father are nothing like it, but my husband is pathetic. Good luck with the conversation. I hope this helped.
 

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Mothers will always be sticking their noses into their baby boy's business. You can't stop it, but you can learn how to handle it, and turn her into an ally rather than a perceived enemy.

In the end (barring one or two really evil old bats) all mothers want their sons to be happy, and she would probably be hurt to know that you think she is interfering..


First try getting her on your side, by asking her advice on little things, and sometimes taking that advice, then quietly tell your hubby, that while you value your mum in law's input, there are just one or two things that you feel uncomfortable about her knowing, and would he mind very much trying to keep it between the two of you to start with.

Don't demand he stops talking to her, because it's not going to happen, there is a strong bond, and if they are an open chatty family, he is used to having her there as part of his support structure. He also will love her very much and will not be able to look objectively at any faults that you perceive..

softlee softlee catchee monkey...
 
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