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Discussion Starter #1
Ok in a nut shell, hubby left a week ago, does not want to talk to me only by email. When he left i went through post and stuff we had not paid bills in 6 months. i called all the companies got in a management plan in my name, also paid off a debt collector by borrowing cash from family. He has now email, wants me to sell up and he wants his stuff. i asked him by email to come home, start a fresh and deal with this. He declined . his stuff is going outside the front door. I DONT want to sell up, if i do i will be homeless and now have all this debt to pay back. what can i do.
i cant fight for him, he does not want me !! but i cant lose everything. I am so torn up
 

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You need to get legal advice where you live. You don't have to sell what is rightfully yours. Depending where you are and how long you've been married, you can get alimony to help yourself back on your feet. Especially if you need to find a job. You do not need to sell the home either.

I'm so very sorry this happened.:( Men leave like this when they found another woman to be with. He will most likely do the same to her also. Your right, you can't make him be with you. You don't want a cheating husband either.
 

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claire...

Im so sorry you are faced with this. You're head must be spinning.

But you already sound like you have fight in you-hold on to that.

Get the legal advice you need and take it one step at a time.

If you need to vent-jump in here and I'm sure there are plenty of people in similar situations to offer advice.

Stay strong.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Not sure about the other woman in a physical sense, but I know he was chatting on line to a few. That’s harmless even though I don’t like it. But I didn’t find any history on the computer to say he's spoken or done sexual things with them. Things is he starting a new business, these women can help him promote so im up for that. However the weekend he left this is what happened. He went to Chester for a business dinner with a woman she is from the TV funny enough, she had seen his product a few months back she showed interest. Anyway hub calls me at work says this woman had called him, invited him to a convention and he was going. I said wow that’s great. Anyway she started writing on twitter on the day he left, waiting for my prince charming! Then she put a pic on this is my Escort to the dinner! Then her mates commented on how lovely my hub was. I felt it strange for a business dinner so text him. Hey prince u having a good time? He did not reply until late. I said what’s going on. Rowed on the phone etc. rowed when he got home saying it was disrespectful of her. Turns out he had applied on line to be her date. His ex wife actually told me that. Had I had known I wouldn’t have been so cross. She is a great business link. Anyway now he has gone, wont talks, wont see me. We have had cash problems for years. We never talked about problems. So I feel it’s my fault, I was and still am working 50 hours a week always tired. Sexually it was getting same ole same ole, but it didn’t stop me wanting him or loving him. Yes for 2 years he has not earn much money. But I didn’t run off with someone else. I believe my marriage was forever. Now I have tackled the debts, asked him to come home. He said NO. Now I find out his sister set him up on a date… it’s been a week for god sake. I am hurt, I now have to work even harder to pay the bills and catch up on everything. But I would take him back tomorrow, work less hours have nothing. So he mailed, Monday he wants he stuff. I replied ok. Come when im not here. Seeing him will make me cry. i want him back, want to make things right. And i wont like someone else having him thats for sure
 

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By the sounds of it, I would not be surprised if he has been having multiple affairs, maybe both physical & emotional.
You would do well to go to the 'Coping with Infidelity' section & read some of the information there. There are some ideas to help you cope & to begin to detach.
Remember, if he has been unfaithful, that was his choice, not something you drove him to do.
 

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Claire sorry you are here.
Do you have kids?
Your in the UK? If you have he can't make you sell until the kids are 18.
You sound strong.
Hang in there honey
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Discussion Starter #11
oh and he has 2 kids from marriage 1 living with his ex wife, mind u thinking about it. He walked out on her 1 month before meeting me. He at the time didnt tell me that 2 years later i found out the circumstances when we announced our engagement !
 

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*sighs


damn this hurts seeing so many going through this ****.


where the hell have morals and fighting for marriage gone?


Well Miss Claire... you are doing everything right and I wish I could say there was a magic wand to stop the hurt your feeling.

Keep cool controlled and calm around him. And start doing things for you hun.
 
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