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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Husband is not on Facebook. I'm friends with some of his relatives. A relative of his wrote something blatantly racist on there (and while the post wasn't directed at me, it was directed at my race). Husband and I are of different races.

I understand it's not my husband's fault and I know he was embarrassed (well he shook his head and said he's not surprised, small minded people and that's just wrong). I *wish* husband reacted saying "I want to say something, that's wrong and offensive towards you and I'm pissed".

Even if husband reacted that way I would have told him no it's not worth it, this person's an idiot and leave it at that. But because he complained and said it was offensive but didn't want to 'stand up' for me, I am a little irked. And I wouldn't have let him because it's probably not worth it but I wish he DID react like that...

Now I'm pissed because we were in a good mood and this idiot relative ruined it. I hate small minded ignorant people like that...especially when they're older than me. I mean how dumb are you?
 

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Well I'm a white guy and my fiancee is a black girl. Getting married in June.

It really doesn't do any good to argue with small minded people. They won't listen.

Personally racist remarks towards me or my fiancee don't bother me. I've never cared what other people say or think. Sticks and stones so to speak.

I'd defend her from physical violence from racism, but words don't matter. Just my .02 thou.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well I'm a white guy and my fiancee is a black girl. Getting married in June.

It really doesn't do any good to argue with small minded people. They won't listen.

Personally racist remarks towards me or my fiancee don't bother me. I've never cared what other people say or think. Sticks and stones so to speak.

I'd defend her from physical violence from racism, but words don't matter. Just my .02 thou.
Thanks its good to hear another's perspective, especially in a similar (not exactly the same races) situation.

I know he was kind of pissed about it and was mad FOR me too so I should let it go. I just hate some people, the race thing has NEVER been an issue between us.
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Of course you should be angry and upset. But you have to tell him how you feel. No use bottling it up.

Ask him why he wasn't more angry and prepared to do or say something to defend you. Explain how much it hurt you.

However, do it right now. If you leave it and bring it up later it won't be half as effective. If you are not prepared to bring it up now then just move on (unless the relative does it again.)
 

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I'm black, married to a white guy. Have two beautiful bi-racial children. I've dated every color of the rainbow. My husband actually had a guy in his unit who was always spouting ignorant bull. He never said anything to the guy! That annoyed me until I realized my husband KNEW he couldn't change the jerkbutt's stupidity.

Shrug it off, go on about your business and don't let hateful people ruin your good time. Block them if you have to! Unless they are saying something outright hostile to your face, you just live your life and be happy. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Of course you should be angry and upset. But you have to tell him how you feel. No use bottling it up.

Ask him why he wasn't more angry and prepared to do or say something to defend you. Explain how much it hurt you.

However, do it right now. If you leave it and bring it up later it won't be half as effective. If you are not prepared to bring it up now then just move on (unless the relative does it again.)
I did bring it up to him. He thought about what I said and responded "he's disappointed he didn't react like that either". I think he was hoping I'd realize this person is an idiot and ignore them (because I admitted nothing I say or do will change their mind). Husband is more 'laid back' anyways but I wish he wouldnt be when it comes to this kind of situation.

He sees why I'm upset and understands. He wished he reacted differently too. But the moment has passed.
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I'm black, married to a white guy. Have two beautiful bi-racial children. I've dated every color of the rainbow. My husband actually had a guy in his unit who was always spouting ignorant bull. He never said anything to the guy! That annoyed me until I realized my husband KNEW he couldn't change the jerkbutt's stupidity.

Shrug it off, go on about your business and don't let hateful people ruin your good time. Block them if you have to! Unless they are saying something outright hostile to your face, you just live your life and be happy. :)

Thank you. I guess I have to toughen up a bit and NOT let these idiots take away MY time and happiness. I think I feel more vunerable now because I'm pregnant too.
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I'm tempted to respond and just say "wow". Or make my own status about people being offensive on FB


Let it go?
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Thank you. I guess I have to toughen up a bit and NOT let these idiots take away MY time and happiness. I think I feel more vunerable now because I'm pregnant too.
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Tell your husband you love it when it when he is protective of you and your beautiful unborn baby. Tell him you're feeling vulnerable and a little hurt. I wouldn't get MAD at him though.
Your husband probably knows they are morons and that he can't educate them. You know people like that won't LISTEN lol.
 

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And congrats on your baby! :)
 
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I did bring it up to him. He thought about what I said and responded "he's disappointed he didn't react like that either". I think he was hoping I'd realize this person is an idiot and ignore them (because I admitted nothing I say or do will change their mind). Husband is more 'laid back' anyways but I wish he wouldnt be when it comes to this kind of situation.

He sees why I'm upset and understands. He wished he reacted differently too. But the moment has passed.
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He probably wouldn't be so laid back if he was on the receiving end of racist abuse.

Mark this one up to experience and use it help you decide how to handle it if something like this happens again. Which I hope it doesn't.

Focus on your baby. Congratulations.
 
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