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This is to find out how wives or those in long term relationships initiate, how often they initiate per week or per month and whether they think their efforts are regarded as appreciable or regarded as not enough. I find it difficult to initiate. I prefer my husband to initiate. But I make an effort here and there. The methods are in two parts, what I say and what I do.

Say:
Its visiting time (When we started, we nicknamed sex THE VISIT, so only us would know what we were talking about)
Are you tired
Come to bed. I am waiting for you.
I could do with a good neck massage

Doing:
gently run his nipple while we are talking
Get his hand when hugging and put it some place else
Getting back to bed at certain times

These are few of how I initiate. He knows exactly what I mean so I do not have to elaborate, but It is not natural to me and a lot of women to initiate. I know a lot of men are saying we should initiate, but I feel there should be an understanding from our men, that it is not easy and a lot of us prefer it if they initiate more often than we do. Not speaking for all women.
 

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I gave up on my wife trying to overtly initiate like ripping my pants off or grabbing my junk. Now entirely happy with her coming to bed without pajamas bottoms on which is a signal she is receptive.
 

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-We have certain things we say that the kids don't pick up on, so it's a bit more playful and a casual hint for later when the kids are in bed (often doesn't go anywhere).
-Flat out saying when she wants something.
-Just going for it.
-Her hand will find its way to my **** and I'm expected to take the hint and go from there.
-She plays with my nipples all the time, so that doesn't mean anything, but if her mouth touches them that leads to more.
-If I go to bed and she's naked, I'm expected to wake her up or I'll be in trouble.
-If I go to bed and she's wearing the type of underwear I like and is topless, that's an invitation but not a requirement (though I better at least touch her).
-If she has a bath and does some "maintenance", I better appreciate it (whether it leads to PIV or not) or I'll be in deep ****.
 

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It’s usually pretty obvious when she is nearing ovulation as she tends to get blunt about what she wants. At other times it is a lot more hidden... there but subtle. If she has a sex toy in her hand then it’s obvious
 

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I have no problem initiating.

If we are in bed, I’ll big spoon him and softly touch him, maybe I’ll nibble their ear, or whisper I want them in their ear while I feel their chest. Or I’ll just start kissing him.

If we aren’t in bed I’ll start kissing them, or sit on their lap and give them a sort of look.

I don’t know, I’m not really shy, unless of course I’m with someone who rejects me.
 

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Initiating is not a problem for either of us. It's pretty much expected that we are going to have sex every night he is home (he works 3rds). He worked from home for a few months during covid and we averaged 5-6 nights per week. Since he's back at work, we talk about the sex we will have over the weekend all week. We are ready to rip each other's clothes off by Friday after building it up. Married 24 years here.
 

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She is almost always receptive when I initiate but if I don't, she will initiate once or twice a week.

She flat out says she wants it when my time is up and that is that.
There is no middle ground with her. It is dangerous to cross certain lines or I will get laid wether I'm ready or not.

A lot of times, she will grin at me and just tell me that we should do it.
 

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I've actually had to tone down initiating to not make my bf feel like a piece of meat. I'd straight out get down to it, but now I'm a bit more slick. I know what riles him up, even when he says he just wants to cuddle. Start out all cute and cuddly and progress with the touching and extra hot kissing until BAM mofo ! :ROFLMAO:
 

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This is to find out how wives or those in long term relationships initiate, how often they initiate per week or per month and whether they think their efforts are regarded as appreciable or regarded as not enough. I find it difficult to initiate. I prefer my husband to initiate. But I make an effort here and there. The methods are in two parts, what I say and what I do.

Say:
Its visiting time (When we started, we nicknamed sex THE VISIT, so only us would know what we were talking about)
Are you tired
Come to bed. I am waiting for you.
I could do with a good neck massage

Doing:
gently run his nipple while we are talking
Get his hand when hugging and put it some place else
Getting back to bed at certain times

These are few of how I initiate. He knows exactly what I mean so I do not have to elaborate, but It is not natural to me and a lot of women to initiate. I know a lot of men are saying we should initiate, but I feel there should be an understanding from our men, that it is not easy and a lot of us prefer it if they initiate more often than we do. Not speaking for all women.
I have read that most women prefer to respond to sex initiated by their spouse rather than initiating. They can be aroused by their spouse, but don't usually feel that spark themselves. I do not think that there is anything wrong with that. It is all about communication. If you let him know that you welcome his initiation and that it is what you prefer, then that should be fine as long as he finds that to be acceptable. Sure, it is nice for a wife to initiate sex because it sends the message that her husband is desired, but not being the one to initiate most of the time should not be a cause for concern in most relationships. Everything that you are saying and doing seems like great ways to kick things off. You are making the effort and that is wonderful.
 

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This is to find out how wives or those in long term relationships initiate, how often they initiate per week or per month and whether they think their efforts are regarded as appreciable or regarded as not enough.
After close to 25 years of being together I initiate more often than my wife, yet she initiates plenty of times as well. Which means she will frequently initiate sex 3-4x a week.

It varies how she initiates, yet my wife will usually say any of the following.

Meet me in the bedroom.
Let's kiss.
Let's have sex.
Let's ****.
Do you want to have sex?
Do you want to ****?
Would you like to have sex?
Would you like to ****?
You can **** me if you like.
I wan't you to **** me.

Likewise she may get my attention, then lift her skirt or dress to show me she's got no knickers on. Or she will show me one of her tits, then poke her tongue out in a licking motion. Plus other variations of that kind of stuff.

Or she will also often initiate by French kissing me, then kissing playing with my nipples, and or playing with my penis. There is plenty of variation in detail, yet for the most part kissing and touching is a thing.

It works for both of us, yet neither of us see initiating as requiring any sort of effort since we want to share sex together and my wife feels safe and comfortable expressing herself sexually with me.

Also since it has been mentioned by others, my wife and I mostly go to bed and sleep without any clothes on. So being naked in itself is seldom a form of sexual initiation for us.

In closing MaiChi I think it's cool that you initiate sex with your husband, even though you find it difficult to do.
 

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Where are these unicorns married 20 plus years and having sex six days a week? I’ve read about them, but have never met one in real life. It’s Big Foot. If anyone ever catches one, it’s going to make history.
Mrs. C is about a once a day lady and we are nearing 30 years together and 26 married.

I'm still up for it more than once a day.

Health issues are interfering with our frequency of freaking but we still want it that much.
 

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Now, as far as her initiating directly, she is pretty simple.

She has a good bag of tricks to get me to move on her however, from bending at the waste (something she never does unless she wants attention), to prancing around in her underwear, she gives me impromptu lap dances for a second or two and then acts surprised when I chase her down. She will occasionally present herself topless or walk around in only a towel after a shower.

She is an obnoxious boob bully as well, trying to knock me about with them every chance she gets!😋
 

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I never used to have to think about it, but things were a bit off for a while recently. It's improved a lot lately, but still. I think the best thing for me is to either let him chase, or be subtle enough to pique his interest and put him in chase mode. Being sexy and flirty earlier will get the anticipation going for later, and that's always fun.
 

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I have lots ways of initiating with BF of almost 2 years...they range from a soft kiss that gets more intense. Just walking up to him and taking off my shirt. Walking up to him with no pants on or coming out of the bathroom with some lingerie on that he loves. I might just start playing our favorite song to have sex to in the bedroom and he comes running LOL Sometimes I just walk up to him and undo his belt and pants and grab (gently) what I want. The choices are endless really. I don't think he really cares how I do it, just that I do it...like everyone else in this world, he likes feeling wanted.

But, to quote my BF "You know how to make sure you don't get laid Jamie? Feed me after 8:30pm." So I pay close attention to dinner time :)
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Where are these unicorns married 20 plus years and having sex six days a week? I’ve read about them, but have never met one in real life. It’s Big Foot. If anyone ever catches one, it’s going to make history.
What about nearly 15 years and not 6 days necessarily but 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, per week depending on the week and location.? From more than 10 times/week during the bonding period, then again when one comes back to the other after a period abroad when re-bonding is mandatory, or when the girls have gone to youth camp for the week.

Not every week, not majority of weeks but.......
 
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