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42 Posts
First of all - I have been married for 9 years to my only boyfriend who I dated since I was 17.No kids.
I also know, that what I am going to write is wrong and that's why I need help with it.
About this other guy -I knew him from my previous work. We never really talked but I felt attracted to him since day one. Back at that time, I did not have a clue that he thought same about me. For me, he was just someone I could have in my dreams only. Very, very handsome.
When I left work, he started to chat with me online. It was just friendly talk until I said he has nothing to worry about him and girls not to want him. Long story short, he found out I like him and then it all started. He tried to get me to his place and have "fun" times. He knew how lonely I felt. He knew I was married.
He wrote what he would do with me, how much time and attention he would give me. I would lie if I say I did not like his attention already but I turned him down.
Few months later, we started to talk . Normal talk ended in naughty one. He wanted same thing from me and I was stupid enough to play his game except I never really met him.
I know it is wrong on so many levels but when I talked to him, I felt alive. I felt wanted. I do not remember when was the last time I felt this way with my husband.
This other guy pulled away after couple of months but we were in touch on and off for a year.
Recently, it started again and I do not know how to get him out of my head. He knows what he does, he knows I want him but he also keeps saying I will never meet him.
He keeps saying how he wants to show me what passion is. He asked me the other day if I was thinking about him. And I was. I could not really work because of image of me and him in my head. He said he was too.
So wrong! He also asked me if I feel guilty for wanted him. Of course I do and I am also scared because of what I feel. I can't get him out of my head. Each time when I am at work, I will tell myself that I am done with him and I won't reply to any of his messages. Then I get home and keep talking to him and feeling happy.
I am just confused. I never had any experience with other man except my husband. And now, after feeling so lonely and unhappy in my own marriage, I feel like I just might give up and do biggest mistake I could do.
How can I stop thinking about forbidden fruit if it looks so great to have it?
I also know, that what I am going to write is wrong and that's why I need help with it.
About this other guy -I knew him from my previous work. We never really talked but I felt attracted to him since day one. Back at that time, I did not have a clue that he thought same about me. For me, he was just someone I could have in my dreams only. Very, very handsome.
When I left work, he started to chat with me online. It was just friendly talk until I said he has nothing to worry about him and girls not to want him. Long story short, he found out I like him and then it all started. He tried to get me to his place and have "fun" times. He knew how lonely I felt. He knew I was married.
He wrote what he would do with me, how much time and attention he would give me. I would lie if I say I did not like his attention already but I turned him down.
Few months later, we started to talk . Normal talk ended in naughty one. He wanted same thing from me and I was stupid enough to play his game except I never really met him.
I know it is wrong on so many levels but when I talked to him, I felt alive. I felt wanted. I do not remember when was the last time I felt this way with my husband.
This other guy pulled away after couple of months but we were in touch on and off for a year.
Recently, it started again and I do not know how to get him out of my head. He knows what he does, he knows I want him but he also keeps saying I will never meet him.
He keeps saying how he wants to show me what passion is. He asked me the other day if I was thinking about him. And I was. I could not really work because of image of me and him in my head. He said he was too.
So wrong! He also asked me if I feel guilty for wanted him. Of course I do and I am also scared because of what I feel. I can't get him out of my head. Each time when I am at work, I will tell myself that I am done with him and I won't reply to any of his messages. Then I get home and keep talking to him and feeling happy.
I am just confused. I never had any experience with other man except my husband. And now, after feeling so lonely and unhappy in my own marriage, I feel like I just might give up and do biggest mistake I could do.
How can I stop thinking about forbidden fruit if it looks so great to have it?