[Nomads]

Dear long term survivor marriage couple, please be nice to me
I love to come to this forum as I want to learn from 'senior' whom I love to call survivor, especially tips from couple who are success on their long term marriages.

I just returning home seeing PIL, husband's cousin and wife in the USA. Any how, lovely cousin's wife mentioning about this '7 years itch', am I naive or what, I never heard this term before entire of my life (yes, I'm coming from another planet ). She said she experience this 7 yrs itch and cost her 1st marriage.

Please, share your knowledge on this so we all can learn what is it, signs and how to deal with it. I'd love to hear some tips too etc.
ps: I just realize last Sept was our 7th year wedding anniversary, we both are almost 6 years differences. Husband already passing 40 and will be 50 soon (2nd puberty? am I right?). Even though hubby older than I'm, he isn't as wise and mature as I'm though he is 100 % responsible man. I respect him for that. This is one and only marriage for us. OMG! Am I going to have '2nd puberty' hubby and the same time '7 years itch' marriage? :banghead: :slap: HELLLLLPPPP!!!!!

 

[waiwera]

We never went through a seven year itch and hubby (49 yrs old) hasn't gone through a second puberty either.

Don't worry about things may never ever happen.

Time and life is way too precious for that!

 

[Dewayne76]

Nomads, I have a severely unique situation. However, my old counselors both have said its a combination of MLC, 7 year itch and the fact we just got together way too young basically.

I'm battling mine. We were great until the teens came into play. 3.5 months ago now. Wife cheated after having all this new attention from the younger crowd. Now is saying she's not been happy for years and wanted out yada yada.

Together for 11, married for 6. When we married, we came out of a rough spell... which I thought was because of her being 17 when we got together. She was BARELY 17. I was in my 20's. However, we fell for each other and made a lot of great memories. We've had a wonderful life.

Um. Sure, I been bad too. As most of us have, but I wasn't phys. abusive, no addictions or anything. Never cheated.

IF THIS HAS anything to do with the "itch" I don't know what to say. Ehh... since we're still battling it, I can tell you, almost 4 months later since the boys' attention grabbed a hold of my wife, with a very DEAD AND HATING kind of period in between, I can say my wife is warming up. The old group of friends are gone. However she still says she doesn't want me, doesn't want to feel "Trapped" and wants to be "free" (I used the word Free, not her) but now is touching me, Still saying "I love you" etc. We moved out of the old place (had to, lived onsite of the business) 0

I'm going to have to say there's not a lot you can do to battle it. Not from my perspective really. My situation I think is calling for patience. Ride out the wave, unfortunatley I'm almost to the point I think that I'm tired of waiting.

If I had to say anything as a tip, to always be concious of the marriage. I mean, don't get in the "Rut" and think everythings fine and forget about it. Just keep things in mind and don't get over paranoid, just be cautious and always... always make sure your partner is happy. And if they say "yes" ... Pretend they're not! Get that small gift you've been neglecting to get for them. Do that one thing that crossed your mind, surprise them. Make sure they know that you are always thinking of them. May not prevent a darn thing, but at least you'll knwo... you did what you could.

I'm sure thing will be fine. Keep your head up and don't worry too much, it's a killer.

 

[Caribbean Man]

When you truly love each other selflessly ,
There is nothing like a " seven year itch."
I believe that is just another excuse for people who want to live the" single life" whilst being married.
Mid life crisis?
Yes.
But it does not have to derail a great relationship.

 

[SimplyAmorous]

I never had a 7 yr itch...nor did my husband... at that time, we were trying to have more children, that was all I was personally focused on.... we handled it together hand in hand -as we did all things -in the past 23 yrs.

I did go a little hog wild 4 yrs ago, wanting to have more FUN & alot more

... but I kept it all at home.... I just wished me & HIM could go back in time.... that was my Mid life Crisis. Can't say anything could have been sweeter... He was LOVIN' my crisis -best thing that every happened to us...

A marriage with a solid foundation , if both are willing to step it up with each other, I don't see why they couldn't weather anything thrown at them...just keep it honest, and be willing to please each other.

One could look upon their marriage - like this scripture >>>

 

[I'mInLoveWithMyHubby]

My husband is 8 years older then I. We've been married over 12 years. We never did go through that 7 year itch either.

 

[Omgitsjoe]

During my Mrs and I's 7 year itch we were both very focused on having our 2nd child thus we kinda killed two birds with one stone so to speak ??

 

[TrustInUs]

I'm glad that others are sharing their stories about not going through the 7 yr itch. It'll be 5 years for us in Feb. and you wouldn't believe how many people have warned us about the itch. It's almost seemed as if it were inevitable. Good to know there are others who didn't experience it.

 

[bobby5]

we broke up after seven years. we have two kids. we are seperated 3 years and believe it or not i may have an opportunity to fix things. yes after 3 years seperated! First marraige counselling is next weeek and i am very nervous. i want it to be a success. my ex doesnt fancy me but would like it to work for us and our boys. any input much appreciated.
story here http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/61506-will-counseling-end-all-hope-me-help-new-post.html

 

[FoolMeOnce]

I once heard couples need to re-invent (lack of better word) their relationship every seven years because people grow and change.

 

[SimplyAmorous]

I once heard couples need to re-invent (lack of better word) their relationship every seven years because people grow and change.

Me & mine didn't change much...like at all. I'd say he is near exactly the same man I married... and me... all I did was lose my religion & got wilder in the sack.

I guess we're pretty boring...all the things we wanted 23 yrs ago ....would still be the same dreams, goals & desires we built over the years... we'd do it all over again. But we did have lots of kids >> so this kept us hopping .