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One of the biggest issues of trust is the obvious, i.e., that your spouse can rely on your faithfulness.
You already know that this is the immediate trust element that you have to face with your BW.
The harder one, in my opinion, involves your BW's ability to trust you when you say you love her. She doesn't believe that. She asks how you could do the most intimate things for so long with another woman if you really, truly loved her.
If you feel you were in love with the other woman, she won't believe that you love her. If you even still like the other woman, she won't believe that you love her. If you contact the OW in any way, she won't believe that you love her. As I said before, it completely blows her mind that a 'normal' for you could be saying you love her, but sleeping with your gf.
This is a big part of the trust mountain that you have to climb.
Actions as well as words are necessary. Complete NC with the OW. Complete transparency regarding all of your communications. You know the drill. Complete honesty. Complete patience. Understanding that it takes 2-5 years to recover from the pain of infidelity.
Here is a link from Affaircare's site that will tell you more on what to expect from your BW:
Understanding Your Loyal Spouse | AFFAIRCARE
You already know that this is the immediate trust element that you have to face with your BW.
The harder one, in my opinion, involves your BW's ability to trust you when you say you love her. She doesn't believe that. She asks how you could do the most intimate things for so long with another woman if you really, truly loved her.
If you feel you were in love with the other woman, she won't believe that you love her. If you even still like the other woman, she won't believe that you love her. If you contact the OW in any way, she won't believe that you love her. As I said before, it completely blows her mind that a 'normal' for you could be saying you love her, but sleeping with your gf.
This is a big part of the trust mountain that you have to climb.
Actions as well as words are necessary. Complete NC with the OW. Complete transparency regarding all of your communications. You know the drill. Complete honesty. Complete patience. Understanding that it takes 2-5 years to recover from the pain of infidelity.
Here is a link from Affaircare's site that will tell you more on what to expect from your BW:
Understanding Your Loyal Spouse | AFFAIRCARE