Getting closer to the truth with every post.Affection would be physical contact motivated by emotional attachment.
To play devil's advocate, manipulation doesn't mean lie in every case. There are cads who don't hesitate to lie if it suits their need. However many humans use the truth often enough when attempting to manipulate another from start to finish. Both sexes.Manipulation is tricking someone. Lying to them. Getting them to do something they don’t want to do.
I will never understand someone who wants sex with someone who doesn’t want them.
I'm not trying to soften it up, why would I?You can try to soften it up any way you want to justify it. No one is perfectly honest when they are manipulating someone. Having a frank discussion about something to try to get someone to see your point of view is not manipulation. The words matter and if you try to tell me it's "manipulative" for my H to tell me I look pretty then you're telling me he doesn't really think I'm pretty, he just wants me to do something and is lying to me to get what he wants. If he's more effusive with compliments because he would like to engage in a little wiggle-brow stuff, that's not manipulation. He's being honest and hinting around, he's not trying to trick me.
Sceen from the Princess Bride, You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it meansMy wife doesn't want to think of herself as beautiful. I think she is, but she generally refuses to believe me. So I do resort to manipulation in order to get her to believe the truth.
If I'm wanting to fool around with the W and she DOESN'T know what I'm up to, I'm doing it wrong! 🤣🤣Sceen from the Princess Bride, You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means
I know that often you post things just to get people fired up. However, this is one of those times that I would like to point out a few things to you. One of the things that I struggled with was loosing my "Nice Guy" status and becoming a more integrated man. If someone else reading this is confused, they need to read Glover's book, No More, Mr. Nice Guy.
To me manipulating a partner for more sex, sounds a lot like making a covert contract to try to get more sex. Actually any form of manipulation for any purpose sounds a lot like a covert contract.
The problem with covert contracts with a spouse is that they know you very well. They also can read your body language, your facial expressions, and your tone of voice. That means that the person you are trying to make a covert contract with is quite likely to know exactly what you are up to. In turn that means it is quite likely to fail. That will make you look like a sexually needy "Nice Guy" in the eyes of the person you really want to have sex with.
I think that a far better approach is to just be honest about what you want, what you need, and talk about it.
I refuse to think of you being that kind of person!!! Lol!Well, in my younger days.....
I have read No More Mr Nice Guy and I am aware of covert contracts and perhaps guilty of those in the past. I don't do that anymore. These days if I am in the mood for intimacy, I communicate that clearly and try as best I can to accommodate whatever my wife needs to help it be something we both share and enjoy. Primarily she mostly needs me NOT to disrupt her schedule of things that she wants to get done.It’s not manipulative if you are giving Mrs.BadSanta what she needs. 😆
Sometimes wives aren’t aware (consciously) how bad they need us. Our affection, validation, and prowess (shall we say) can’t just be found anywhere. This is like the only thing wives somehow fail to articulate. 😆
They make us think it’s just US that need them… don’t buy it! 😂