How Could I reach out and ask spouse if open to settling before getting too far into the process?
Spouse was open to settling 4 weeks ago (to avoid a costly divorce) before hiring an attorney however up until that point spouse was also unreasonable.
20+ year marriage
No Minor Children
No Fault State
Equitable Distribution State
Spouse deserted and abandoned the marital home and all financial responsibilities
Separated and living apart
Spouse did not contribute to mortgage or home maintanence after leaving
We did not provide any support to one another since separation
Marital home was sold and proceeds remain in Attorney Escrow Account
Divorce was filed and served after the home was sold.
Spouses attorney has filed the Answer to Complaint.
I procrastinated. I admit that it's been a long seperation which was a mistake. I finally filed the complaint for divorce and the complaint was served on my spouse about 45 days ago.
You need to do it through your attorney. The only thing you're supposed to have attorney costs whether you hire one for yourself or not. If you can come to a settlement that you can both agree on through your attorneys, if you want then you can do mediation and you still have the option of continuing with attorneys after mediation and your attorneys can come to mediation and do most of the talking for you. But if you're not agreeing on the settlement then you need to let the attorneys work it out along with the court if necessary.
After four years why would she trust you would actually settle? If I was in her shoes there's no way I would trust you after all this time, I would assume it's just another stall tactic.
If you want to settle do this. Write up a fair division of assets and meet her at her attorneys office ready to sign. That's how you settle before going further in the process.
Draft a proposed property settlement agreement & send it to her. Spell out the division of everything. Depending on what she comes back with as a counter, just say yes so you get this over with already.
Even if it's 60/40 her favor, you'd be out.
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