[UAArchangel]

Hmm. If I could get "Christmas dinner" with all the trimmings once or twice a week, I don't think I'd get tired of it.

I like turkey, cheese, cranberry and lettuce sandwiches. I can eat that each week without getting tired of it.

 

[UAArchangel]

If the woman loves sex and wants it frequently with her previous partners, then tells her (now husband) that she’s LD and their sex life is fine and it’s okay that she’s not orgasming, then comes on TAM and complains about his lot in life….

Yes, her silence and acceptance of a bad sex life life is a big part of the problem. But blaming her for being LD and not enjoying sex isn’t going to fix things. To fix the problem, he essentially needs to accept sole responsibility for the problem. He needs to take ownership of it. In my view, this isn’t about placing blame but figuring out how a man can resolve his problems.

However, if she wasn't really attracted to him, there is no amount of masculinity that could be injected into him to fix that. One's sexual satisfaction starts with one taking responsibility for their own satisfaction.

 

[UAArchangel]

I assumed that the problem wasn’t that the husband lacks masculinity, but rather that he lacks sexual technique.

If the guy is 50 pounds overweight and she was never attracted to him, she might become attracted to him if he lost the weight, added muscle and broadened his shoulders. Facial hair can cover up unattractive features and feminine features (e.g., a weak chin). There are probably steps most men can take. If he’s too nice, he can learn how to be more assertive.

There isn’t one answer for all men. But when so many women talk about whether a man “knows how to use it” and so few men do, sharing that knowledge is helpful to many.

I bet she’d be proud to know that a thread on sexual technique has turned into a discussion on whether it’s unfair to claim that the men are to blame.

One thing I am learning on this site is that, if a woman does not respect a man from the outset, he cannot generate that within her. He can lose it if he's a jerk of a man, but it cannot be created. I except situations where he saves orphans in a burning building or rebuilds Venezuela into prosperity. However, short of something of that nature, a man should not try if it isn't there. He should also be aware if he is being disrespected by a woman while getting to know her, because it either remains that way or it will get worse upon marriage.

If you don't have that, there is no technique you could apply to give her sexual satisfaction.