Talk About Marriage banner
1 - 9 of 9 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
5,753 Posts
have found the best lover is is the one that is open to letting their woman teach them what she likes best ,
The opening post said that a lot of women couldn't teach because they don’t know. Said women learn by having a skilled man. Said the husband just needed to “figure it out”. At least that is what I read the banned one wrote.

One of other posts, wife told her husband “men just know”.

I can imagine this whole ignorance thing causes a lot of problems in a marriage. Wife n I were both clueless when we dated and married. Basically tried things out with one another and found what worked for both of us.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
5,753 Posts
When your wife says "men know" what other choice do you have? You do need some place to start, even if the whole process will be trial and error.
She maybe said that because as the banned one wrote, women don’t know themselves. A skilled male can bring them along, but even then they have no idea how he accomplished it, just that they really enjoyed it.

The banned one advised the man she was posting to “google” technique. What did people do before google and internet existed? I guess lotta unhappy females back few decades ago.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
5,753 Posts
The women who bedded me before I focused on my wife to be knew exactly what they wanted.
As mentioned, I am working from sample of one. Only woman have ever been intimate with is wife. So no “expertise” at all. But wife knows what tips her over with PIV is getting on top and hitting her “spots” how she wants them hit. So yes she knows what she wants/needs. Sometimes CAT works but not always.

But the banned one wrote most women don't know what they need until skilled man shows them. So an unskilled man like me isn’t likely to get the job done using google. Heck when we were dating and got married, google didnt exist! We knew enough to get tab A into slot B and make a baby, but that was about it.

For us it was OJT. We worked on finding what worked over several years.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
5,753 Posts
Yes, sometimes a woman truly is LD, truly cannot orgasm, or truly does not enjoy sex…. Despite truly being physically attracted to her husband (or despite him being in great shape, good hygiene, dressing well and treating her well
I would think those cases truly LD would be extremely rare. Suspect most problems result from the overall marriage dynamic. And poor upbringing.

My issue with the banned one’s writing is that the husband needs to surf the web to figure out how to “give” his wife a climax because she doesn’t have a clue herself. And evidently doesn't care to experiment with him to find out what works.

Probably because when young she didn’t explore her own body enough because her mom told her doing so was not something nice girls do. Our FOO especially in countries like USA, cause a lot of sexual problems in marriages.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
5,753 Posts
Would be interesting to read female take of banned one’s treatise. I recall originally some of them had expressed some pushback.

So far its just males expressing opinions about something. Maybe the females figure men wouldn't listen anyway.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
5,753 Posts
There isn’t one answer for all men. But when so many women talk about whether a man “knows how to use it” and so few men do, sharing that knowledge is helpful to many.
Fair enough. So who is it that has this wisdom and how/where can those other than the few men who do glean this wisdom? With google!?!

The banned one maybe smart But she is ONE person with one set of life experience, anatomy constructed in one way, being intimate with a particular group of men with their individual endowments and characteristics. Is she the guru of Cosmo or any of the other advice givers?

Seems to me kinda reasonable that if woman knows how her man should use it and he isnt, wouldnt it be to both of their advantage to just tell him? I mean it is two individuals with their own set of anatomy, endowment, etc,

I think it is a case that women know when they are “feelin” it but care less HOW and dont know how the man is giving them what they want.

There are tremendous number of variables. Is he new meat? Does he turn her on when he walks by? Is she comfortable being with him? Does she feel safe with him? Is she in love with him? Is he kind to her? Is he considerate of her feelings and needs? Does he listen to her? Does he make her laugh?

None of these have anything to do with sexual technique. But they all bear on how aroused she can become with him.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
5,753 Posts
Men, talk to the women you’re with. Make them feel safe, if you’re not scared to spend 45 minutes down town with your mouth aching tell them that. Tell her not to worry, that you won’t stop until she gets where she wants to be. And let your ego’s go, if you’re not scared or too weak of a man to take direction, make her understand that there are no wrong requests, encourage her to be open.
This ^^^^^^^^^!
Way better than consulting google.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top