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Well, several months ago, posted about how I felt like my wife has been weening me off sex.

And it hasn't gotten better.

And I am so tired of it. I can't divorce her, nor will I. I don't believe in it. So don't suggest it.

And I am so tired of getting turned down, told she is too tired, that it is all I think about, all the other excuses I am told, I just can't take it anymore.

So in order to make this easier, is there anyway to kill a male sex drive? And yes, I know this sounds insane, but I am serious.
I am going on 3 months of no sex, and still in my 30's. It has been driving me crazy, and I am just giving up in trying to get her to change her mind.
She is still affectionate, and loving, but zero sex. Told me she doesn't want to have it.

And I have explored the reasons. No childhood trauma, went to counseling, and that did nothing, doctor checked up and everything was normal. She just doesn't want sex.

And no infidelity. I went on lockdown mode for almost 8 weeks looking for evidence, and found nothing.

So, how do I kill my sex drive? I am at the end of the options I see. I just want it gone. It would make my marriage so much easier at this point.
 

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Prozac...... I asked the Dr. once what I could do cause my wife was driving me insane....he said anti-depressants er whatever. I said what about sex. He said we could just rub noses together before we say good night.
 

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If this isn't a deparate plea for help and you are sincere, you're not going to find many people here who will cooperate with the eurhanizing of a part of your persona just like a doctor probably wouldn't assist in a patient's suicide.
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IF it was a plea for help, I would've told my wife to see if she would tell me not to. But I doubt she would. She would probably go along with it.
But after being turned down for so long, and still in my 30's, I am at my wit's end.

No, I am being serious. I am just tired of it.

And I told my doctor. He said he won't help me because no doctor could do that to a patient without worrying about the consequences.
 

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To kill your sex drive you should stop teasing yourself. Avoid all affection from your wife. Also, hold back on giving her any affection. Do not touch her. Only talk with her about "business". Basically, treat her as a roommate. By allowing her to be affectionate, you are allowing her to lead you on. In short, turn down the thermostat, and pull a 180.
 

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To kill your sex drive you should stop teasing yourself. Avoid all affection from your wife. Also, hold back on giving her any affection. Do not touch her. Only talk with her about "business". Basically, treat her as a roommate. By allowing her to be affectionate, you are allowing her to lead you on. In short, turn down the thermostat, and pull a 180.
Precisely. And by giving your wife affection you're actually still meeting some of her needs for her, while she doesn't meet your sexual needs. It's a one-sided relationship right now... it works for her so she sees no reason to change.

Give what you get and then see how she likes it.
 

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Ask your doctor to remove your prostate.

And I am so tired of it. I can't divorce her, nor will I. I don't believe in it. So don't suggest it.
So, she can forgo fulfilling her marital vows and you are willing to accept that break in commitment? Not only accept it, but to be willing to conform to her nonsexual self? I thought that is where I was at as well until I realized how she doesn't care about me. I would do anything for my wife, but the same can't be said the other way around. Since this is the case, I lost my unconditional love I once thought I had. You should too.
 

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Please, you are making a huge and serious mistake.

You should never ever stop trying to figure out how to uncork the sexual side of your wife. It's in there.
 

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Please, you are making a huge and serious mistake.

You should never ever stop trying to figure out how to uncork the sexual side of your wife. It's in there.
You can't expect a man to try forever and ever to get his wife to be sexual, it's extremley mentally draining and theres only so much rejection you can take. The OP seems to have done everything he can.

Far from all women have a sexual side. It's not always "in there".
 

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You are asking us to help you be emotionally abused by your wife. I cannot in good conscience help you.

If you are opposed to divorce for Biblical reasons you are not informed about what the Bible says.

If you are opposed because you have children, the pain you feel is your sacrifice (needless imho) to keep the family living in one home.

If you are opposed because of some non-religious morality, you are way out on the far fringes. You are entitled to your values, but be aware that you aren't going to find many people who sympathize with your situation.

If you are opposed because you gave your word and it is a contract, what happens when the other person fails to deliver on their half of the contract? Did your vows have "to have and to hold" in them? How about "Love, honor, and cherish"?
 

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When she tries to be affectionate and loving give her the cold shoulder. Marriage is a two way street. When she asks why tell her it's because she doesn't respect your normal sexual needs as a man, so you can't be teased and stimulated by her 'sisterly' hugs and kisses.
She needs a consequences to her actions or she'll have your balls in her purse for the rest of your life.

Move into the spare bedroom. Politely say that you can't handle being physically close to her because is gives you impulses that you can no longer tolerate not being met.

SHE needs a major wake up call. Her behaviour is outrageous!.

By sleeping in the spare room, or on the couch, you won't play her little game of pretending to be a married couple.
 

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She isn't tired. She dislikes sex with you.

Have you asked her why?


Well, several months ago, posted about how I felt like my wife has been weening me off sex.

And it hasn't gotten better.

And I am so tired of it. I can't divorce her, nor will I. I don't believe in it. So don't suggest it.

And I am so tired of getting turned down, told she is too tired, that it is all I think about, all the other excuses I am told, I just can't take it anymore.

So in order to make this easier, is there anyway to kill a male sex drive? And yes, I know this sounds insane, but I am serious.
I am going on 3 months of no sex, and still in my 30's. It has been driving me crazy, and I am just giving up in trying to get her to change her mind.
She is still affectionate, and loving, but zero sex. Told me she doesn't want to have it.

And I have explored the reasons. No childhood trauma, went to counseling, and that did nothing, doctor checked up and everything was normal. She just doesn't want sex.

And no infidelity. I went on lockdown mode for almost 8 weeks looking for evidence, and found nothing.

So, how do I kill my sex drive? I am at the end of the options I see. I just want it gone. It would make my marriage so much easier at this point.
 

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Sex and intimacy are basic human needs. It's not natural to turn those off.

So, good luck with that unhealthy relationships where your needs aren't important.
 
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Ya know dude we all have been there.But to hear a another say it out loud I feel for you.I am going thur the same thing. And of course like all the other guys all we all do is try to change our wifes.Well I am here to tell you to change yourself.Its comforting from within.Sex has always been a battle for us.But last week something happened to me.I was taking care of myself and finished off and a small dribble of sperm came out of me.And I said to self.Is this really worth all the attention it gets . Why do I ruin my life for a little jizz.Theirs no romance,Theirs no affection,Kissing, We tend to blow it out of proportion.It seems to me that once I remove sex from our relationship its all good.Yes I am doing my own style of a 180.It works. but is it worth it.Don't know yet.Right now I am giving up on my wife to ever becoming the women I want in life. She is not capable of a well balance sex life with me.So I have removed everything from her that I give to her.She has lost a lover and a friend in me. And she acts like she is happier than ever.OMG she doesn't have to service me with her 2-3 mins. a week again. I raise the white flag and she can keep it to herself.
 

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What needs to happen is a change in the dynamic from you perusing and getting rejection, to her perusing and you being aloof. She should be asking herself everyday, why is my husband not into me? What is he doing when he's gone? Who is he talking to? Am I losing him? She should be chasing you. That's one possible outcome of my advice above. Another possibility is that you find out very quickly that despite you not "believing" in divorce, she very much believes in it and is only there as long as the marriage is one sided.
 

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How to kill the male sex drive?

Just keep doing what you're doing since you said divorce isn't an option.

Although I agree with what Bottled Up said as well, you're giving her some of what she needs, but yet you get nothing in return, so no longer meet her needs, and it will probably kill everything.
 

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GoingToSnap said: So, how do I kill my sex drive? I am at the end of the options I see. I just want it gone.
So very sad, to take something as Life giving as a sex drive and just want it washed away...how you have not climbed Mount Everest in Resentment towards your wife is beyond my understanding. :scratchhead:

Just want to say, I think some men Love TOO MUCH, too sacrificially - to the detriment of themselves. Can you really call this Living?

Your thread made me think of this old one > http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/38669-sexless-marriage-castration-answer.html

Here is the Thermostat Thread >> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/21278-thermostat-ultimate-barometer-your-r.html

and

Here is the 180 >>


Plan A vs. 180 Plan - Marriage Builders® Forums

180

180 is a list of behaviors from Michelle Wiener Davis, the author of Divorce Busting, that will help your spouse to see you moving forward as a healthy person. I would highly suggest that any new BS begin these behaviors as soon as possible. I am convinced that if I had implemented them, I would still be married. In retrospect, I did everything besides 180. I looked pathetic. No one wants to be perceived as pathetic. 180 makes you look strong. Strong is attractive. (Making it)

So here's the list:

Don't pursue reason, chase, beg, plead or implore.

No frequent phone calls.

Don't point out "good points" in marriage.

Don't follow her/him around the house.

Don't encourage or initiate discussion about the future.

Don't ask for help from the family members of your WS.

Don't ask for reassurances.

Don't buy or give gifts.

Don't schedule dates together.

Don't keep saying, "I Love You!" Because if you have a brain in
your head, he/she is at this particular moment, not very loveable.

Do more then act as if you are moving on with your life; begin moving on with your life!

Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and independent.

Don't sit around waiting on your spouse - get busy, do things, go out with friends, enjoy old hobbies, find new ones! But stay busy!

When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation) be scarce or short on words. Don't push any issue?
No matter how much you want to!

If you're in the habit of asking your spouse his/her whereabouts, ASK NOTHING. Seem totally uninterested.
Your partner needs to believe that you have awakened to the fact that "they (the WS)" are serious concerning their assertions as to the future (or lack thee of) of your marriage. Thus, you are you are moving on with your life? with out them!

Don't be nasty, angry or even cold - Just pull yourself back.

Don't always be so available? for anything! Your spouse will notice. More important, he/she will notice that you're missing.
No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment? Make yourself be someone they would want to be around. Not a moody, needy, pathetic individual but a self assured individual secure in the knowledge that they have value.

All questions about the marriage should be put on hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may not be for quite a while). Initiate no such conversation!

Do not allow yourself to lose your temper. No yelling, screaming or name calling EVER. No show of temper! Be cool, act cool; be in control of the only thing you can control? YOURSELF!

Don't be overly enthusiastic.

Do not argue when they tell you how they feel (it only makes their feelings stronger). In fact, refuse to argue at all!
Be patient and learn to not only listen carefully to what your spouse is really saying to you? HEAR what it is that they are saying! Listen and then listen some more!

Learn to back off, keep your mouth shut and walk away when you want to speak out, no matter what the provocation. No one ever got themselves into trouble by just not saying anything.

Take care of you. Exercise, sleep, laugh & focus on all the other parts of your life that are not in turmoil.

Be strong, confident and learn to speak softly.
Know that if you can do this 180, your smallest CONSISTENT action will be noticed far more than any words you can say or write.

Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting
more than ever and are feeling totally desperate and needy.

Do not focus on yourself when communicating with your spouse. It's not always about you! More to the point, at present they just don't care!

Do not believe any of what you hear them say and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives and do so in the most strident tones imaginable. Try to remember that they are also hurting and afraid. Try to remember that they know what they are doing is wrong and so they will say anything they can to justify their behavior.

Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel. It "ain't over till it's over!"

Do not backslide from your hard earned changes. Remain consistent! It is the consistency of action and attitude that delivers the message.

When expressing your dissatisfaction with the actions of the wayward party, never be judgmental, critical or express moral outrage. Always explain that your dissatisfaction is due to the pain that the acts being committed are causing you as a person. This is the kind of behavior that will cause you to be a much more attractive and mysterious individual. Further it SHOWS that you are NOT afraid to move on with your life. Still more important, it will burst their positive little bubble; the one in which they believe that they can always come back to you in case things don't work out with the OM/OW."
 

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You may not divorce her but she's getting the plan together to divorce you.

Be on the look out for large tan brown envelopes on the kitchen counter or table with your name on them.
 
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