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Discussion Starter #1
Here is the situation.

Thursday night, I try to initiate. She says "I'd love to do that for you but how about tomorrow night?" I said "How about tomorrow morning?" Silence, I went to sleep.

Nothing else was said about it. Friday morning goes by, Friday evening goes by, here it is Saturday evening and nothing has been hinted or said.

Did I already let it go too far? I'm actually kind of dreading her approaching me tonight because I'm already resentful. I know she will.

How should I handle this in your opinion?
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Let me put this in lady terms.

Thursday night, I told my husband I had something really important I wanted to discuss. He said "I'd love to discuss that with you but how about tomorrow night?" I said "How about tomorrow morning?" Silence, I went to sleep.

Nothing else was said about it. Friday morning goes by, Friday evening goes by, here it is Saturday evening and he hasn't even asked me what it was.

Did I already let it go too far? I'm actually kind of dreading him asking me about it tonight because I'm already resentful. I know he will.

How should I handle this in your opinion?
 

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Women need Men to lead. You should have "taken" her the next morning.

Why don't you both have a default answer of yes to sex every night. That way there is no "right night." Its always the right night.
 

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She says "how about tomorrow"?

And then tomorrow you don't ask, you just start kissing her. If she shoots you down - or acts indifferent - you stop and accept that your W has a sexual aversion to you.

That isn't going to change. Either accept it or move on. Seems like you are unwilling to push this to clarity.

Here is the situation.

Thursday night, I try to initiate. She says "I'd love to do that for you but how about tomorrow night?" I said "How about tomorrow morning?" Silence, I went to sleep.

Nothing else was said about it. Friday morning goes by, Friday evening goes by, here it is Saturday evening and nothing has been hinted or said.

Did I already let it go too far? I'm actually kind of dreading her approaching me tonight because I'm already resentful. I know she will.

How should I handle this in your opinion?
 

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Nope - the next night. It was what she said she wanted.

Women need Men to lead. You should have "taken" her the next morning.

Why don't you both have a default answer of yes to sex every night. That way there is no "right night." Its always the right night.
 

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Nope - the next night. It was what she said she wanted.
You are quite correct. Morning was his response, her suggestion was next night. He should have initiated the next night. Never ask for sex, just go for it. Make her say no. If she does say no don't pout or act upset, just go do something else like it doesn't matter.
 

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Here is the situation.

Thursday night, I try to initiate. She says "I'd love to do that for you but how about tomorrow night?" I said "How about tomorrow morning?" Silence, I went to sleep.

Nothing else was said about it. Friday morning goes by, Friday evening goes by, here it is Saturday evening and nothing has been hinted or said.

Did I already let it go too far? I'm actually kind of dreading her approaching me tonight because I'm already resentful. I know she will.

How should I handle this in your opinion?
Put her over your knee and smack her bum. Make it fun.


In any event no way attempt to have sex the next day at all, rather wait till she wants something done then respond with the same reply “I’d love to do that for you but how about next month?”.
 

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Put her over your knee and smack her bum. Make it fun.


In any event no way attempt to have sex the next day at all, rather wait till she wants something done then respond with the same reply “I’d love to do that for you but how about next month?”.
Then you would have an antagonistic relationship. Plus it puts sex into a barter type system. That isn't productive IMO. And she would know that she can hold sex over his head in order to get something she wants. Not a good precedent to set.
 

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Then you would have an antagonistic relationship. Plus it puts sex into a barter type system. That isn't productive IMO. And she would know that she can hold sex over his head in order to get something she wants. Not a good precedent to set.
Right ho then.
 

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Bfree,
I completely disagree with this. She cannot say "tomorrow" and then shoot him down "tomorrow".

Then again, to be fair she has made it clear she dislikes having sex with him.


You are quite correct. Morning was his response, her suggestion was next night. He should have initiated the next night. Never ask for sex, just go for it. Make her say no. If she does say no don't pout or act upset, just go do something else like it doesn't matter.
 

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Ya'll think too much!! OP talk to you wife heart heart about your sexual relationship. Ask the tough questions and make her feel 100% secure that you won't to know the honest truth.

That you don't want to end up a statistic, how much physical bonding means to you, how much it makes you feel close to her, etc etc.

Let us know how it goes.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Ya'll think too much!! OP talk to you wife heart heart about your sexual relationship. Ask the tough questions and make her feel 100% secure that you won't to know the honest truth.

That you don't want to end up a statistic, how much physical bonding means to you, how much it makes you feel close to her, etc etc.

Let us know how it goes.
:rolleyes: Why didn't I think of that!

Sorry to be sarcastic, but she knows.

Then again, to be fair she has made it clear she dislikes having sex with him.
Yea. that's really hard to argue with (or work with).
 

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TheGoodFight - haven't read all your posts so please bear with me/be kind when I ask......

What kinds of things did you do during the day, Thursday, to get her in the mood/lead up to that point? Romance/intimacy for a woman starts way before you get into the bedroom. My ex's idea of initiating was sitting on his arse watching TV until I was done cooking, cleaning, bathing the kids, etc. When 10/11 rolled around, he was raring to go and couldn't understand why I wasn't in 'porn star' mode. Needless to say, this is ONE of the many reasons he's now an ex.
 

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For a bit of background, TheGoodFight's wife had an affair, which consisted mostly of giving blowjobs to a guy who didn't give a crap or really need to initiate anything. I'm guessing that's lingering in the back of his mind.
 

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For a bit of background, TheGoodFight's wife had an affair, which consisted mostly of giving blowjobs to a guy who didn't give a crap or really need to initiate anything. I'm guessing that's lingering in the back of his mind.
In that case it sounds like she has total control of him plus no respect for him or appreciation of him.


He’s never going to get her appreciation and respect back by being submissive to her in the way he is and without those things his life will be one of misery.

He’s far better off totally withdrawing everything he does for her, to never go to her for sex again and to tell her he’s withdrawn his love from her, separating and divorcing her.

If he does that she may decide to check back into her relationship with him and work on the marriage. He’ll then be in the driving seat and can decide if he wants her back or not and if he does what his conditions are.
 

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If the rejection was continuous then OK time for some serious questions.

In this case "Here is the situation.

Thursday night, I try to initiate. She says "I'd love to do that for you but how about tomorrow night?" I said "How about tomorrow morning?" Silence, I went to sleep.
"
Why push for the morning whats wrong with tommorw night - Its almost a power struggle issue. Its not about cutting a deal its supposed to be making love (or am I wrong here?)

She has stated she wants to do a certain act for you but tomorrow night. Then let it go to then. If you get the rollover and nil response from her tomorrow then ask why, whats wrong if its always tomorrow and nothng happens again start asking questions.

It could really be shes had a hell of a day and is just about sleeping on her nose. What happened to give and take

Just easy by, keep a cool head as its only you thats winding up about it and try again -

(Ive not read all the posts due to time limits so assume nothing different to the first post was added- excuse me if thats not right)
 

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If the rejection was continuous then OK time for some serious questions.

In this case "Here is the situation.

Thursday night, I try to initiate. She says "I'd love to do that for you but how about tomorrow night?" I said "How about tomorrow morning?" Silence, I went to sleep.
"
Why push for the morning whats wrong with tommorw night - Its almost a power struggle issue. Its not about cutting a deal its supposed to be making love (or am I wrong here?)

She has stated she wants to do a certain act for you but tomorrow night. Then let it go to then. If you get the rollover and nil response from her tomorrow then ask why, whats wrong if its always tomorrow and nothng happens again start asking questions.

It could really be shes had a hell of a day and is just about sleeping on her nose. What happened to give and take

Apparently she had no problem "giving" blowjobs to other men but her husband wanting may be 20 minutes of her time? Heck, he even offered a compromise which she choose to ignore

Just easy by, keep a cool head as its only you thats winding up about it and try again -

(Ive not read all the posts due to time limits so assume nothing different to the first post was added- excuse me if thats not right)
 

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Discussion Starter #20
TheGoodFight - haven't read all your posts so please bear with me/be kind when I ask......

What kinds of things did you do during the day, Thursday, to get her in the mood/lead up to that point? Romance/intimacy for a woman starts way before you get into the bedroom. My ex's idea of initiating was sitting on his arse watching TV until I was done cooking, cleaning, bathing the kids, etc. When 10/11 rolled around, he was raring to go and couldn't understand why I wasn't in 'porn star' mode. Needless to say, this is ONE of the many reasons he's now an ex.
I've done this in the past (the sitting on my arse part). I haven't been that way in over a year now though.

I don't remember doing anything special Thursday. I wasn't looking to score all day or anything like that. We just had our normal time together.

Today, before I left for work, I kissed her neck and said something about hooking up this evening and got "Sure." And not like a "Sure! :bounce:", but more like "Sure..:rolleyes: (but not looking forward to it.)"

She quickly changed this to "I mean yes!" since I've said before how the little "Sure" comment makes me feel. So already that's pretty deflating. The tone is already set. There is nothing I feel like I can say or do now to make it any better. How to build anticipation with her now?
 
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