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My H and I have a lay in agreement at weekends. Basically he can lay in Saturdays and I can lay in Sundays. Whoever gets up takes care of the kids.

This has been going for a while now. In principle it works OK.

Trouble is he stays in bed so late. 12,sometimes 1 in the afternoon. It means we cannot enjoy days out and inevitably stuff that needs doing does not get done. I have brought this up many times and honestly... He is not bothered.

The other part of it is I feel taken for granted. I feel he may as well be at work an extra day as I spend Saturdays in to the afternoon taking care of the kids alone.

The big thing is Sundays. He gets up with the youngest then lays on the sofa to go back to sleep. I have told him this is potentially dangerous and needs to change. It has become clear it has not, so I am going to have to do what I said which is cancel the laying in agreement.

I know he is going to flip out on me. I know he will say I do not appreciate how hard he works. I do. A lot. He knows that. He will get angry and retaliate by stopping certain loving gestures ge does for me ( he told me he would if I stopped the agreement.) I know it will be hell on earth trying to get him up at the weekends and we will end up arguing like we used to before we started doing it.

Help! Is there anything else I can do?
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I have tried it! It does not work.

He does not get grouchy or appear bothered. What *does* happen however is he does not change or dress the littlest who will be walking round with a full nappy and nightclothes wet with juice. There will be crumbs on the carpet and dirty breakfast pots around which the littlest will smear on the TV or on to the chairs.

H will not have done any chore, even just cleaning up or washing the breakfast pots. I will end up picking up his slack when I allways take care that I tidy on his lay ins.
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That's pretty much how my estranged husband did the entire marriage. I never found a workable solution--only a lot of arguments and resentment. Thankfully, I'm a morning person. Therefore, I got up early and took care of the children and other chores. You may try doing that, but take a nap once he does get out of bed (on both days). I found that a 1 1/2 hour nap was quite refreshing right after lunch.
 

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Straight up tell him!

Explain that you do appreciate how hard he works yet in spite of that you feel less connected to him when he sleeps in half the day! ask him if he is willing to get up a few hours earlier so that you have a weekday together to connect with him. Tell him you are feeling taken advantage of and that its causing resentment. Also tell him the sofa thing with young one is UNACCEPTABLE as its a child safety issue.


Men want a list! we don't want you to make us guess whats wrong... frame it logically.

if he agrees give him the best most mind blowing sex of his life for a while to reinforce his wise decision.

If he doesn't then normal sex and keep bringing it up.... affect change.

MEN ARE EASY! Stand up to your husband. be happy.
 
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