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After 10 years of marriage, my husband has cheated on me twice. The first time he was remorseful so I took him back and we moved on. A month ago I find out he's cheated again. This time he's not remorseful and he's saying all these hurtful things to me. That I'm not educated, not attractive, no social skills, that I say stupid things, we don't have any connection.

I haven't done anything wrong. I know he's saying all this stuff because of his own guilt. How do I ignore his comments and not let them hurt my self esteem?

He's moving out in a few days. We are over. I just want to get these comments out of my head.
 

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It'll be easier once he's gone. If you know for sure it's over, start living today as if he's already gone.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
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He's not saying those things out of guilt. He's saying those things to justify his cheating behavior. He is blameshifting. He is blaming you for his behavior. None of what he said is true but if he believes any of that then he should have divorced you before he started up with someone new. This is NOT about you. This is about him. Remember that. There is something very broken inside him that he doesn't want to acknowledge so he shifts the blame your way. You know that you are NOT THESE THINGS. If you really believe that then his words can't hurt you. He is the ugly, stupid and unattractive one here!

But I do think you should help him out. Stuff all his crap in a few Hefty's and send him on his way. He leaves tonight and you start your healing process tomorrow!
 

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Cowards cheat...a real man would face his problems head on. Remember that.

Good for you that he's leaving. You're much better off without him. Nobody can make you feel bad unless you allow them to.
 

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Here's one suggestion, Strzzy: Don't buy into those labels he attempts to tag you with, because they likely are inaccurate, right?

You write well, without leetspeek, not using txtmode, using correct spelling and punctuation. That alone means you paid attention at least in English class.

He can only hurt you if you buy what he's selling, so stop buying and stop believing in him.
 

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Don't let those comments hurt you. He's just trying to make you feel bad because he is guilty.

This will be a new beginning for you. Embrace it and let those hurtful comments go out the door with him!
 

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After 10 years of marriage, my husband has cheated on me twice. The first time he was remorseful so I took him back and we moved on. A month ago I find out he's cheated again. This time he's not remorseful and he's saying all these hurtful things to me. That I'm not educated, not attractive, no social skills, that I say stupid things, we don't have any connection.

I haven't done anything wrong. I know he's saying all this stuff because of his own guilt. How do I ignore his comments and not let them hurt my self esteem?

He's moving out in a few days. We are over. I just want to get these comments out of my head.
Sounds like a real gem. Lucky you...it'll be better for you when it's all said and done.
 

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Focus on who you are. Focus on your values and qualities.

Deep inside, you know who you are, you don't need other to tell you who you are. :)
 
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