Been married for 25 years, together for 27. We're less than 2 years apart agewise. Ours is a strange one. Does not involve infidelity. Separated for 9 months now. 2 teenage daughters, one a freshman in college, the other about to finish junior year of high school. Trouble started 5 to 10 years ago. For the first 9 years of our marriage it was just us and things were great. I mean great. I've never trusted anyone like her and still don't. We were so good together. I had my own business, she went to college. Her degree helped her immensely and she's had a great career ever since. She could not have kids(she was honest with me up front). We tried everything artificial insemination-wise to no avail. Right about the time we decided to adopt my business was reaching an end(it was a real estate development). We adopted 2 beautiful girls. I got into the mortgage business. Trouble was timing. I got into it just before the great recession. The business failed. I poured good money after bad and ended up losing the money I'd made in my real estate development and then some. I struggled through, and started a new line of work. Paid my debts off, but still was not making anywhere near what I had before. About this time my youngest daughter started having depression problems. To the point of having to be in inpatient care for a couple of stints. Then about her senior year my oldest daughter starts doing the typical teenage partying thing. The stress level in the house was high. Because of the need to travel to go visit my youngest daughter at least once a week in her inpatient care, I had to quit my job because I was missing too much work. My wife was making more money and had better benefits anyway. I was not easy to live with. Occasionally I'd let my anger get the better of me. My wife and I have never raised a hand to each other and rarely ever fought, maybe one argument a year. We never struck our kids either. But I'm loud and can raise my voice. I tried counseling a couple of times but nothing worked. I just hated myself for not being a good father, provider and husband and that inner loathing was the fuel for my anger. Things have been very rocky over the past 5 years. We separated twice previously for a few months, but tried to work it out each time. My wife has issues too that showed up during all this that were never addressed as my anger was the biggest issue(she can be quite the passive/aggressive ice queen). During the current separation I finally found therapy that worked for my anger. I've made tremendous strides. I found the answer I was finally looking for that gave me the tools to deal with it. Problem is that my wife says she's happier apart and that things are less stressful now. I went to her today and told her I'd like to go to marriage counseling. She flat out refused it. I'm just devastated. We've been together half our lives. I can't stop thinking about us and how great things were and with some tweaking through counseling, could be again. I'm stuck in the past and don't know how to get out of it.