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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My WH is a white hat hacker by trade for a govt agency.
His affairs are via FB (that I know of) and are EA's ( again, that I know of).
I am pretty sure that he knows I copied some of his chats b/c he had his comp locked down.
Today I found it unlocked, but he was logged off of FB ( which is new). I could see the email he uses to log on ( a new one I didn't know he had), but no PW.

I have thought about installing a key logger, but I think he would track down any program running, find out what it is, and nuke it.

He is really bad about gas-lighting me, and has deleted chats I took issue with before, so I want some solid transcripts where he can't say that I ' misread it', or ' I didn't say that!'
Thanx.
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How about do it the old fashioned way and start a fake face book account? Dont talk to him right away, friend a lot of people and create a character so it looks real. Then start friending his friends and then friend him and start chatting and eventually ask about his relationship situation.
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
How about do it the old fashioned way and start a fake face book account? Dont talk to him right away, friend a lot of people and create a character so it looks real. Then start friending his friends and then friend him and start chatting and eventually ask about his relationship situation.
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I've considered this and here is the problem: Every single one of these women is someone from his past, women he's had some sort of history with who are friends, or friends of friends who all grew up together. He lived in a small town and is one of the few ppl who made it out and made something of themselves and these women are falling all over themselves to get a piece of him.
It's really rather disgusting and the reason I keep putting off going back there to visit with his family. As soon as they know he is there they will light up his phone/FB wanting to come by and 'catch up'.

I had tolerated him having them on his FB with a sense of humor when he just ignored them. Now that he encourages and has EA's with them it is intolerable. Even more so that he knows what I think of it and he is now hiding it.
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What are the chats like with these women? Is there anything with him telling them that they are special, that he loves them, or anything sexual?
 

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Why stay married to him?
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Indeed, why stay married to a man whose cheating and obvious doesn't think 2 sh!ts about your feelings about things?

Honestly, you don't need evidence. If someone is acting in his way, just file divorce. And if they'd deny all the way to the end, you have your answer of their character.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
What are the chats like with these women? Is there anything with him telling them that they are special, that he loves them, or anything sexual?
Here is the link to my other thread where I posted part of one of his convos: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/63292-what-am-i-make-4.html

It not the worst it could be, but not good either.
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Why stay married to him?
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Well, 15 yrs and 4 kids for starters.

I'm waiting for x-mas and my dd's b-day (a few days after) to pass. Then I am going to have it out with him and lay out what I expect. I don't think he's ever considered that I would leave him and the reality of that, how serious I am about this, may be what it takes to wake him up. I'll figure out what to do after that based on his actions.
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What exactly do you expect from the chats?

My wife didn't know what I said to my EA, she just knew that I was emotionally disconnecting from her and spending every spare second on the computer with her.

That was enough.
 

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Is the computer his personal property or is it his work computer?
 

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You could always set up a nanny cam type thing that points where his screen is and see if you get anything.. don't know if it would work. but it's an idea.
 
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